Regardless
by pl2363
Summary: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker accidentally gets himself sparked. What will he decide to do? G1/AU *slash, don't read if you don't like*
1. Crash Landing

Title: Regardless – Crash Landing

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (for mature content)- Sticky (yeah I went there, don't like, don't read it!)

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker winds up accidentally sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that he might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from __Unintended__, by Asher119. _

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead,

_"Ohh, can't anybody see  
We've got a war to fight  
Never found our way  
Regardless of what they say."_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

A handful of images were seared deep into Thundercracker's memory bank due to their overwhelming beauty: The first time he laid optics on the Crystal City, the view of Vos from high above, and ... the sight of Skywarp overloading in his arms. At some point the sleek, mischievous flier had become the center of his world. After hiding his desire and repressed affection for vorns, he finally broke under the emotional weight, revealing how much the younger flier meant to him, and to his surprise, found his feelings returned.

In one rash moment they had done something unthinkable as ranking members of the Decepticon army: They had bonded to one another.

Much of the ruthless nature of the Decepticon army was born out of the fact that no soldier formed close relationships with fellow soldiers. Superficial friendships were deemed acceptable and berth hopping a regular practice, but a thick wall of machismo and bravado remained in place at all times. Hardened warriors were not supposed to delve into their inner feelings. That sort of molten slag was best left to the soft-sparked Autobots. Thundercracker had never felt like a hardened warrior, though. In private, he would frequently stew in his deep thoughts regarding the war, which often left him questioning the motives behind letting it continue to drag on long after their home world had been left in tatters.

His allegiance to his trine had been what helped him earn his high rank as they followed Starscream in his never-ending bid to be the supreme leader. Despite his deep dislike for their air commander, he had stayed loyal due mostly to the fact that he wanted protect the younger flier of their group. A life without Skywarp seemed like no life at all, even before they had bonded to each other.

"You even paying attention?" asked Skywarp.

Thoughts derailed as Thundercracker gazed down at the lithe form of his mate caged on all sides by his arms and legs. His knees were planted on each side of Skywarp's hips, and his hands firmly pressed against the berth on either side of his lover's helm. He leaned down at nipped at Skywarp's nose playfully. "Yes."

"Liar." Skywarp's hands slid down the sides of his torso and hips, sending a shiver over his dermal plating. Purple fingers pressed into the hip sockets on each side, grazing over the inner joints, which drew a shudder from Thundercracker's body in response. Pleased with the reaction, a self-satisfied smile pulled at Skywarp's lips.

Revenge came in the form of Thundercracker's glossa flicking out to glide along the sensitive neck cables of his attacker. Skywarp moaned softly and pushed his fingers against the joints again, making Thundercracker sharply gasp. "Fragger," he muttered as wrapped his lips around one of the neck cables to suck at it. Skywarp bared his neck while making little whining sounds of approval.

Purple fingers soon pulled free of his hips, and he lifted up his hands to land flat against the smooth surfaces of each of Thundercracker's wings. Nothing could melt his joints faster than a little wing-play, and apparently his partner intended to exact his own revenge. "Payback," said Skywarp as he started to massage the sensitive dermal plating.

Thundercracker lifted his head to lock optics with his foe. "It's berth warfare you want?" he asked while his whole frame shivered faintly from the attention to his wings.

Skywarp's optics glinted as a huge grin graced his lips. "Bring it on! You'll never win!"

Thundercracker sat back and grabbed hold of Skywarp's waist, pressing him in place on the berth as he scooted backward. The younger flier started to squirm in protest as Thundercracker pulled out of his reach.

"You're already losing ground," Thundercracker taunted as he flashed a smile at his mate. He dragged his mouth down over the length of Skywarp's torso, flicking out his glossa and mouthing as he went down.

Skywarp's face twisted with a mock frown that quickly dissipated the moment Thundercracker reached his interface array and licked at the panel cover. He glanced up to see Skywarp's dimly lit optics pinned on him. The squirming stopped as his mate seemingly submitted to his advances. Mouthing at the edges of the panel, he let his hands slide down over silvery paneled hips to rest on Skywarp's black thighs. Fingers swept in lazy motions over the smooth inner areas of his parted thighs, ghosting over seam lines as he continued to fervently lick and mouth at the interface cover for a klik or so.

He felt Skywarp try and push his hips up, but he moved to hold him in place and lifted his head to slowly drag his optics over the elegant sight of his lover splayed out in front of him on his berth.

Skywarp let out a little whine and tried to buck his hips again.

Thundercracker shook his head at his mate as he wrapped his hands firmly over his thighs and leaned a little of his weight down on them to keep him still.

"Fine!" Skywarp snapped. He ran his purple hands down over his own frame, pausing here and there to tease at his own sensitive seams as they pushed down over his chest and torso stopping at the interface panel. Thundercracker watched the erotic sight, his core temperature instantly rising as Skywarp clicked his panel open to reveal his beautiful interface array. Purple fingers moved over the jack that extended up to join them. He teased it with slow strokes up and down to stimulate the sensor nodes that lined its length. Skywarp rolled his head to one side and moaned softly as he worked over his own hardware. "I'll finish without you if I have to."

Thundercracker laughed a little at the empty threat, then slid one hand up Skywarp's thigh and traced his black fingers around Skywarp's busy hands to brush over the entry to his port. Skywarp's body faintly jerked from the light touch. He shifted himself backward a little further and bent down to run his glossa over the port entrance.

Skywarp pulled his legs up so his feet were flush to the berth and parted them wide as he moaned.

Obliging the unspoken the request, Thundercracker pressed his glossa into the hot, sensitive space, flicking around inside. He felt the thin interlaced metal walls tremble around his glossa at the stimulation, which soon started to seep with a viscous clear fluid as he started to lap his glossa in and out of the heated space. Skywarp's moaning got louder each time he pressed further. His glossa could only reach so far, though. He pulled back licking his lips and savoring the taste of his mate, while pressing a finger inside in an achingly slow motion.

He looked up in time to see Skywarp roll his head back against the berth and arch his back. Primus, he was so beautiful...

"The spot..." groaned Skywarp.

Thundercracker twisted his finger around feeling a particularly sensitive node buried deep enough inside only his fingers or his jack could reach it. He eventually felt its smooth rounded surface and pressed against it, which caused Skywarp to shudder and clutch at his own jack, long forgotten once Thundercracker had started working over his port. "Oww!" he yelped as he let go of it just as quickly as he had accidentally squeezed it.

Biting back the urge to laugh, he watched Skywarp's face pinch into a pout. He leaned forward to kiss his jack gently. Their optics locked on one another as he slowly licked its length. "More?" he asked coyly.

"Both," replied Skywarp.

Giving in, Thundercracker started to pump his fingers in and out of Skywarp's port while at the same time taking his jack into his mouth and sucking at it. His bondmate was soon reduced to a quivering mass on the berth, moaning and clutching at the smooth surface.

Breaking his lips' hold on Skywarp's jack, Thundercracker lifted his head but kept pushing his fingers in and out of the wet port. "Seems I am winning the battle," he commented smugly.

Skywarp rolled his head back and laughed. "No way! I am totally on the winning side here!"

Thundercracker pulled his fingers free and sat back to undo his own interface panel. His jack pushed free the moment the cover snapped back and he wrapped his wet fingers around it, coating it carefully. He glanced up to see Skywarp watching him intently. On his hands and knees once more, he crawled forward and carefully positioned himself so the tip of his jack teased at the hot entrance of his mate's port.

"I think I am about to win," said Thundercracker in a low tone. Before Skywarp could come up with a witty retort, he pushed forward, his jack sliding into the slick heated space with ease.

"Holy slag, TC... you feel so good...." Skywarp said, groaning.

"So do you," Thundercracker replied as he pulled back and then pressed back into the silky, warm space with his jack. A shiver ran up his back at the incredible sensation of the pulsing walls of Skywarp's port tensing around his jack.

With a soft sigh of air from his intakes, he kept his arms straight as he plunged his hips forward, soon establishing a slow steady rhythm pumping in and out of the only port he ever wanted to have. He had never been one to take part in berth hopping, and until they finally crossed the unseen barrier to interface the first time, he sometimes spent his private time self-servicing to the fantasy of Skywarp's port being his alone...and now it was. He groaned at the mere thought of it and let his head hang down between his shoulders in order to brush his lips over Skywarp's, who pressed against his soft lips in return. The younger flier then let his glossa flick out to meet Thundercracker's, where they wrestled together before pressing into each other's opposing mouths. That was another thing only soft-sparked Autobots did: kiss. He doubted they could muster the passion he and Skywarp had when their glossae entangled, though.

As good as the heat and pleasure that flashed through his internals felt from interfacing, Thundercracker craved more of his mate. Since the first spark merge that established the bond, they had merged countless times. Each time he had lowered more of his internal firewalls, which led to ever-greater, processor-blowing overloads. He felt his spark pushing in its chamber, craving to return to its partner's glowing warmth.

Thundercracker broke the kiss, and lifted his head to let his optics take in the lovely view of Skywarp writhing under him, moaning and clutching helplessly at his chest as their hips rocked together in a fevered synchronized motion. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Skywarp's audio receptor. "I want all of you," he breathed.

Skywarp nodded his head in agreement.

Initiating the required commands, Thundercracker let the cockpit glass part, and the spark chamber beneath opened. Skywarp did the same, and he lowered himself down, pressing his entire body flush against Skywarp's. Once their chests met, both sparks sent tendrils out and pulled themselves together between. One spark pulse...two spark pulses... and on the third they matched speed and melded into one another. Thundercracker gasped sharply, amazed at how fast they now could become one. His entire being now encompassed himself and Skywarp. He absently continued to roll his hips into Skywarp, the pleasure of which would flash over the edges of their spark connection.

Other than the incredible sensations spark merging produced, he relished the ability to express his deep love for Skywarp. Somehow words felt so complicated and heavy, and he rarely said anything affectionate to his bondmate outside of a moment like this. Here and now he could push all his love into the light of their sparks, free of fear. Skywarp always responded with his own love, which never failed to turn him into a quivering mass. Nothing else mattered here, not the war, not their obnoxious trineleader, not the slagging Autobots...all that mattered now was he and Skywarp as one.

Swept away he dropped all his firewalls and he bared his entire being for Skywarp. He felt Skywarp shiver against him before also dropping several firewalls. A thick tsunami-like wall of pleasure, passion, and love came crashing down on him all at once. He cried out and shuddered, totally lost in a long, deep overload that rolled through him. He was barely aware of his body at all as he succumbed to an all-consuming euphoria that forced his vision to blank out to white. _Primus, what an incredible overload,_ he thought just before he slipped offline and collapsed in a heap over top Skywarp.

o o o o

The midday sun beat down on Thundercracker's frame as he hovered beside Skywarp over the vast shimmering ocean far below. They listened to Starscream's grating voice chew them out for not flying at their best during a battle the day before with the Autobots. They were attacked in the middle of collecting energon and fled once they had been out numbered, taking only what they could each carry. In the race to escape, Skywarp had accidentally dropped some of his payload, and Thundercracker had only grabbed a few cubes. Overall, it had been a disaster that Starscream had been squarely blamed for by Megatron. Not willing to admit it had been his blunder to allow a human to escape and alert the Autobots, Starscream now placed the failure on his trinemates.

"You two looked like bumbling fools!" Starscream's intakes sharply hissed with escaping air denoting his disapproval while his wings flicked behind him. "Now, let's practice the evasive aerial maneuvers I outlined. At the very least _pretend_ like you are _actually _elite fliers and keep up with me!" Starscream transformed and took off with a burst of speed from his thrusters.

Thundercracker exchanged looks with Skywarp just before they too transformed into their jet modes and took off after their trineleader. Soon they flew in formation, maintaining flanking positions as Starscream led them around in series of sharp-banked turns.

The wind whipped over Thundercracker's wings as he easily kept pace with Starscream's maneuvers. During the time they had been hovering in the hot sun, waiting for Starscream to finally finish yelling at them, he had noticed that he started to feel hazy and tired. Now he felt much better as the crisper higher altitude air poured over his frame.

'This is supposed to be hard?' asked Skywarp over their bond.

Thundercracker let his amusement flicker back over the bond in reply.

Suddenly, Starscream pulled a sharp turn to the right. Thundercracker managed to remain in formation, but it took him by surprise. Soon their air commander executed a series of extremely complicated loops that had them circling upside down at parts. Thundercracker could feel his ability to keep in sync slipping as his fuel tank started to protest the agitating movements. Flying had never made him ill before, and he found the quivering sensation unnerving. Still, he pushed forward unwilling to admit to himself something wasn't right.

He continued to follow the curved flight path, which started to make him feel vaguely dizzy. Starscream dipped down low, practically skimming the lazy ripples of the ocean below them. The drop in altitude proved too much to take. Thundercracker broke formation by transforming into his robot mode and coming to a stop. Trying to fight off the overwhelming urge to purge his tank, he hovered just over the rippling water and ran a series of systems checks, trying to pin point the issue. He forgot entirely about his trinemates until Starscream yelled over the comm link.

:: Thundercracker! Did I say we were done?! Back into formation now! ::

'TC? Something wrong?' Skywarp asked over the bond.

Before he could answer either of them his tank decided to purge its contents, regardless of how he felt about it. His morning ration came rushing back up his intake valve as he doubled over, spewing it all out over the undulating ocean beneath him. The soft glow of energon floated atop the dark blue water, and he hovered, staring at it in disbelief. He had only purged his tanks once before, and that was from too much high grade at a party when he had been at the Academy.

'TC! What's wrong?'

'I don't know... I purged.' A thick wave of panic rolled through him. Why had he purged like that? Why was the hot sun making him feel so tired? He hovered in place as he continued to run systems checks. The only error registering was his now empty fuel tank.

:: What the frag are you doing Thundercracker? :: Starscream yelled.

He didn't answer.

'TC! I'm coming!'

:: Get back here, Skywarp! ::

:: Stick in your exhaust, Screamer! ::

:: Don't call me that! And we aren't done training! Both of you get back here! ::

'TC!'

The voices of his trinemates grew distant. Without fuel in his tank, his body initiated a shut down sequence. His heel jets failed, and he plunged into the cool water, quickly slipping below its surface. He stared upward at the fractured image of sky he was no longer floating in, wondering why his body had so utterly failed him. An intense flash of Skywarp's panic flooded their bond just before Thundercracker felt Skywarp's arms wrap around him. He hadn't seen Skywarp dive in, which led him to guess he had teleported. Relaxing against his mate's body he gave into the systems shut down and let the waking world fade away as he slipped offline.

o o o o

Systems were sluggish to come back online. Thundercracker felt them initialize one by one. He felt like he was fighting his own body's urge to keep recharging. Eventually, he broke through and lit his optics. He readjusted their focus until the silvery-violet paneling of medbay's ceiling became clear. Turning his head to the side, he saw Hook and Scrapper arguing over some sort of device they had laid out in pieces across a table.

For a couple of kliks he lay there, waiting for his internal systems to finally finish booting up.

'TC?' Skywarp's concern bloomed over their connection.

'Warp.' He sent reassuring waves back, trying to calm his mate.

'You're up! Want me to come get you from medbay?' Skywarp offered.

'Nah, I'll be fine.' He knew for a fact he was anything but fine, but he also didn't want to worry Skywarp.

'I'll be there in less than an astrosec.'

Thundercracker could tell by the touch of determination that attached to those words he had no choice in the matter. Pushing to sit up, a wave of dizziness hit him, but quickly passed. He looked over at the arguing Constructicons, who didn't even notice him stirring.

Skywarp came bursting into medbay, earning him dirty looks from Hook and Scrapper, which he completely ignored as he made his way over.

"Hey TC. You look like slag still." Skywarp came to an abrupt halt beside the berth he occupied.

"Thanks," he replied dryly.

"Come on." Wrapping an arm over around Thundercracker's shoulders, Skywarp carefully helped him off the berth to stand.

They made their way out of medbay at a slow pace.

Once they were out in the hallway and alone, Skywarp squeezed his arm. "You want me to teleport you back to the room?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"No, I feel better now that I'm walking." That was partially true. His systems were finally all online, but he could tell he needed to recharge more. His fuel tank also felt a little uneasy still.

In silence, they made the trek back to their shared quarters, careful to not touch too much. Thundercracker could feel his mate's worry flashing over the edges of their bond. So far they had carefully concealed the fact they were a bonded pair. Thundercracker couldn't be sure what the repercussions for their secret love might be, but he imagined it involved physical pain and possible confinement. In order to protect what they had, as well as protect Skywarp, it needed to remain a _secret_.

Reaching their quarters, Skywarp palmed the door open and they proceeded inside. The moment the door cycled shut Skywarp snaked his arms around Thundercracker's waist and pressed against him, hugging tightly.

"I was so freaked out, TC! What the slag _happened_?" Skywarp stared at him as a wave of concern pushed over their bond.

"I don't know," Thundercracker replied. He reached up to trace the leading edge of one of Skywarp's wings. "But I'm fine now."

"You still look tired," said Skywarp with a frown.

"My systems are lagging a little. I should probably recharge a bit more," he admitted.

Skywarp tugged on him, leading him to his berth. "Lay down then," he insisted.

Thundercracker leaned forward to playfully nip at Skywarp's nose, but the younger flier was having none of it, jerking his head back and narrowing his optics.

"_Fine_," replied Thundercracker, feigning disappointment as he flopped onto his berth.

Skywarp sat down on the edge and pressed his hand to Thundercracker's cockpit, flexing his fingers against the glass. "You scared the slag out of me passing out like that."

"It scared me, too. But I promise I am fine now," he said as he laid his hand over Skywarp's.

Despite the love that they shared, it still remained an awkward thing to express outside of spark merging. He watched Skywarp stare at their touching hands and neither said anything for a klik or so.

Skywarp let out air his from his intakes in a sigh. "I have to get to the control room for shift assignment. I am stuck on third shift tonight." He looked up at Thundercracker and offered a small smile. "You want me to bring you some energon when I get off?"

"Sure." Thundercracker smiled warmly at younger flier. He liked that Skywarp was trying look after him in his own way.

"Okay, I'll steal some extra rations and bring them back later." Skywarp crawled onto the berth and draped himself over Thundercracker, pressing his face against his neck.

"Getting comfortable? I thought you had to go," said Thundercracker as he gently ran his fingers over Skywarp's back.

"Yeah, I'm late." Skywarp lifted his head up to stare at Thundercracker, his beautiful pale face still pinched with worry. "Screamer took you off the schedule for now, so stay here and rest up, okay?"

Thundercracker nodded obediently.

To his surprise, Skywarp dipped down and lightly pressed their lips together. They had never once kissed outside of interfacing. The soft pliable metal of their lips met and molded together like puzzle pieces. It was all too brief though, as his mate suddenly disappeared mid-kiss through his warp gate. After he was gone, Thundercracker lightly ran his fingers over his lips. Why did such a soft-sparked act make him feel so cared for? He frowned at his own personal weakness when it came to his mate. He loved him more and more, it seemed. He just hoped that he could keep it from bleeding beyond their private moments together.

After waking from a deep, restful recharge, Thundercracker stretched his arms over his head and then let his frame relax against the berth. He glanced around the empty room, wishing Skywarp was already off shift, but knew it was far too early.

His mind started to wander, replaying the events of the last few days. He examined every detail, trying to determine what caused his tank to purge, but nothing made logical sense. A soft hiss of air escaped his intakes as he heaved himself to get up. He wandered over to the computer console set in the desk of their room and sat down to start a file search. He typed in 'fuel tank, purge, cause' and waited for the file listing to return. All the titles that came back listed 'high-grade', which he knew couldn't be the culprit. He refined his search by weeding out any files related high-grade then waited again. This time the computer slowed. Either that meant there was a high amount of data or else it was old archived data that the system was trying to access.

Thundercracker rested his chin on the palm of his hand propped up by his elbow on the edge of the desk as he waited. Eventually he also started drumming his fingers over the metallic surface waiting impatiently for something to show up on the screen that might help him figure out what could be wrong with his fuel tank. The screen suddenly lit up with file names, _a lot of file names_. He perked up and started to read some of the titles.

'How to deal with side effects of carrying a sparkling'

'Fuel tank issues related to phase one of being sparked'

'Purging fuel tank due to being a carrier'

The world dropped out from under him.

Thundercracker stared with wide optics as the realization hit him. Sparked? Him? He stared at the screen, stuck somewhere between disbelief and reality as everything crashed down on him. At that moment, he shut down his side of the bond completely to keep Skywarp safe from feeling his rising panic. He knew spark merging could spark one partner or the other if they dropped their firewalls completely...

"Fraggit!" Thundercracker threw his face into his hands, shaking his head in denial as his memory files reminded him of their last merging. He _had_ dropped all his firewalls. What a fragging moron he was! How could be so stupid? How could he have forgotten? In truth, he knew exactly how. He had let his passion get the better of him and gave into desire instead of thinking things through like he usually did. Skywarp had that effect on him, though. Getting him to exist in the moment and damn the consequences.

"Getting myself possibly sparked is the consequence…_FRAGGIT!_" he yelled at himself as he got to his feet, fighting the urge to smash the screen and all the file names that felt like they were mocking him. He redirected his anger at the wall instead, leaving a deep dent in the thick plating. Staggering backward, he continued to internally curse himself for giving into desire and taking down his network of firewalls.

It took a few kliks of letting himself freak out before he finally realized that he needed to think rationally about the situation. Once he managed to calm himself down a little, he stood in the middle of their quarters trying to think through what he should do. After all, this was still conjecture, right? He _might_ not be sparked. The only way to confirm it would be a spark scan. What would he do, waltz into medbay and ask? Even if he did that, what if it were true? Then Hook would surely notify Megatron. A shiver ran through his entire frame at the thought of that megalomaniac and what he might do about it. The only scenarios he envisioned included a painful beating and possibly being locked away after he was deemed unfit as a soldier. Then a truly horrifying thought occurred to him. What if they found out Skywarp was his bondmate? His own stupid mistake could end up hurting his lover.

If he couldn't go down to medbay, then logically there was only one alternative, one place to go for confirmation. And he really had to be out of his mind to even consider it.

"Autobot base…" he whispered.

They had the facilities, the tools, and were not required to notify Megatron of their findings. They could also lock him up or kill him. In the end, either option seemed to have a similar terrible outcome for the worst-case scenario. Comparing the two choices did show one big difference: Skywarp would be safely left out of the mess if he went to the Autobots alone.

"It's the best option."

He quickly checked the time: later evening, Earth time. Skywarp had gone for third shift, which left Thundercracker a fair chunk of time to get to the Autobot base and back in one piece without anyone noticing.

Without another moment's hesitation he exited their shared quarters and made a b-line for the lift.

The entire hurried walk toward the _Nemesis_' exit all he could think was: _What have I done…?_

* * *

_A/N- This is longer story in progress. The next part will be posted very soon. I don't like asking for reviews, but it's helpful to get feedback. So if you like it, please tell me why, and if you have helpful things to also say please do. Thank you!!  
_


	2. Hard Truth

Title: Regardless – Hard Truth

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker accidentally gets himself sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Also, this _is_ AU. It seems to me that two factions would not know opposing side soldier names unless they were infamous in some way, which is how I wrote this.

Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119. _

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead,

_"__How can it feel, this wrong,  
From this moment,  
How can it feel, this wrong?__"_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

The cool night air felt good against his frame as he sped towards the last place he thought he would ever want to go: the Autobot's headquarters. What kind of Decepticon soldier was he? A traitor. But if Hook examined him that could lead to exposing his bond with Skywarp, and he would do anything to protect his mate, even get himself slagged by Autobots voluntarily. But there was no need to completely panic yet. First he needed confirmation.

Of course if it were true, then he would really be in a mess.

He kicked on his afterburners to gain another burst of speed. The sooner he knew one way or the other, the sooner he could try and figure out what to do.

City lights below mirrored the array of stars above. As the sea of pinpointed lights under him started to ebb and give way to darkness, he checked his GPS. Sure enough, he was approaching the Autobot base. He dropped his altitude, which instantly sent a wave of queasiness through his fuel tank. Both his nerves and the general uneasy feeling in his tank aligned in a horrible moment as he transformed and landed with thud a few miles away from the Autobot base. He fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his torso while attempting to override his fuel tank's desire to purge again. He knew that without the energon in reserve he would never be able to make the rest of the trek to the base below their radar. For what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only a breem or so, he willed himself to not purge and eventually the churning sensation settled enough that he decided to attempt to stand again. Shakily, he got back to his feet. For a moment he questioned his own grip on reality. Was he really going to do this? Ask a slagging Autobot for help? An image of Skywarp flashed in his mind. He had to know, and he had to keep this a secret from Starscream and Megatron for Skywarp's sake. He had no choice. This was the only way. He put one foot in front of the other and started to slowly walk toward the enemy base.

In the distance the illuminated entrance of the crash landed ship came into view. He stopped about a hundred meters away and detached his arm cannons, holding them in one hand. The other arm wrapped tightly around his torso as another wave of sickness rolled through him. He had to be insane for doing this.

As the entrance loomed closer, he could see one Autobot left on guard. A small silver colored mech. Checking against his memory files, he realized that he was a sharpshooter and came to a stop. He mustered every ounce of courage he had and called out to young-looking Autobot, praying to Primus he wouldn't shoot on sight.

"Excuse me!" Thundercracker yelled out.

He watched the gunner hop to his feet, gun drawn. "Who's there!"

Thundercracker preferred the safety of standing in the darkness beyond the light that spilled from the Autobot's base entrance and decided to remain where he stood. "I need to see your medic," he finally shouted back.

"Who are you?" the small silver gunner asked. "Step into the light!"

His spark lurched in his chest at the request. "Please! I need to see your medic," Thundercracker yelled back.

The small silver form stiffened his arms, the gun in his hand targeting Thundercracker despite the blanket of darkness around him. "I have night vision and I can see you are Decepticon. I have alerted my superiors, so you may as well step forward. Otherwise I'll shoo─"

"Fine!" Thundercracker snapped. He walked forward letting the soft light illuminate him. He tossed his weapons to the ground in front of him and held one arm out in surrender while holding his other hand over his cockpit. "I'm unarmed."

Behind the silver gunner, Thundercracker spotted a large red warrior and the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime, making their way toward the entrance.

"What the frag do you want Deceptiscum?" shouted the red warrior as he reached the doorway and aimed his large gun at Thundercracker.

Prime pressed a hand to the red warrior's weapon to point it downward. "Tell me, why are you here?"

"I need to see your medic," replied Thundercracker.

"For what purpose?" Prime asked as he took a step closer and to the side, somewhat blocking the red warrior and his weapon.

"It's personal. I'd rather not shout it at the whole slaggin' Autobot army." His spark was pulsing with fear. He was exposed, unarmed, and in terrible danger, but he forced himself to appear as calm as possible.

Prime seemed to regard him for a long moment. Their optics locked in a strange staring contest of sorts. Thundercracker didn't look away or flinch in the least, standing with his wings held high despite the terror raging through him.

"You are holding your chest. Are you injured?" asked Prime finally.

He flexed his fingertips against the glass cockpit and the possible new life within. "I'm just protecting my spark from your little sharp-shooter there."

Prime glanced at the silver mech and made a motion for him to drop his weapon's aim. "Bluestreak, retrieve the cannons," Prime ordered. The small gunner sprinted out and picked up Thundercracker's arm cannons, then ran back behind the Autobot leader. "I don't usually take in stray Decepticons, but if you are in need of help, I will not deny you. I do, however, need to be sure my own crew remains safe from danger, which means if you are to enter the base, it will be in stasis cuffs."

"Whatever you think is appropriate," replied Thundercracker. He felt relieved that so far they hadn't decided to kill him, but at the same time still terrified of surviving this self-inflicted ordeal.

Prime turned to give to the red warrior orders, although from where he stood he couldn't hear. He _did_ hear the balking sound the warrior made as he pulled out a pair of stasis cuffs, however.

"I'm going to have Ironhide secure you," said Prime.

The red warrior stalked over with a nasty looking snarl on his face. "Hands out in front of 'ya!" he snapped as he got within range.

Thundercracker did as he was told and held his hands out. Fear ripped through his entire being and a new wave of nausea hit him full force. Biting back the urge to dispel the contents of his tank, he did his best to not let on how terrified he was. The stasis cuffs snapped in place over his wrists, sending a small buzz of electrostatic energy through his body. That small burst was meant to disrupt a cuffed mech's energy field as it locked in place. In his case, the jolt broke his vigilant concentration on controlling his fuel tank. Before he could stop himself, energon came up his intake valve and was forcefully expelled out of his body. Most of the rejected fuel splattered all over the red warrior who had been securing him.

"What the frag!" yelled Ironhide. "What is wrong with you?" The warrior still held firm to the cuffs with one hand while trying to wipe away the energon that now coated his plating with the other.

Deeply embarrassed, Thundercracker felt heat flare over his faceplates, although as watched his unintended victim make disgusted faces he couldn't help but think of Skywarp who would probably find this incredibly funny. Just thinking of Skywarp seemed to ease the sickness and shame. He wished he could reach over the bond to him, but knew it was better to keep it closed for now at least.

Prime headed over and took Thundercracker's elbow in his large hand. "I'll escort you. Ironhide, go get yourself cleaned up and stay out here on guard with Bluestreak."

Ironhide's optics flashed. "But Prime! Yer gonna trust this─"

"He obviously needs help. Decepticon or not," Prime replied firmly.

With a gentle tug, Thundercracker followed Prime's lead as they proceeded into the base.

They walked through a series of hallways that twisted around. Other than one minibot that went running into a side room as they proceeded to the medical wing, the halls were empty. Prime abruptly halted at a pair of glass doors. He turned his gaze to Thundercracker. "Our medic, Ratchet, is on his way."

Thundercracker nodded then dropped his gaze to the floor around his feet. If anyone knew he was here, he would be so slagged. How had his entire world come undone in a matter of a few cycles? A few Earth days before he had been content knowing he had Skywarp to himself, but now he was standing in the enemy base about to find out if he was sparked or not. He hoped if he were, the medic could just get rid of it. Then no one in the Decepticon army would ever know, even his mate.

"Holy slag, Prime. You weren't joking, huh?" said a white mech as he tromped down the hall. Ratchet's optics narrowed on Thundercracker. "You better have a good reason for interrupting my recharge cycle." The medic pressed his hand over the entry pad, and the doors slid open. All three proceeded inside. Prime led Thundercracker over to one of the medbay berths and motioned for him to sit.

"He actually purged outside. I believe he is in need of your help," Prime explained.

"Purged?" Ratchet stopped mid-stride. He turned to look at Thundercracker curiously. "Is your fuel tank totally empty?"

"Close, but not quite," he replied.

The medic crossed over to a cabinet and retrieved a small cube of energon. As he returned to where Thundercracker sat, he noticed the energon was a deep magenta color, which he had never seen before.

"Here, drink that." Ratchet placed the cube in his Thundercracker's bound hands. "I suppose we'll be checking that spark of yours then, hm?"

Thundercracker glanced at Prime. "Ah, I was hoping for confidentiality."

"I'm not leaving you here with my medic alone," replied Prime sternly.

Ratchet disappeared into an office and reappeared with a datapad and a scanner in hand. "Drink that. If you are here for the reason I am guessing, you need it."

Thundercracker awkwardly lifted the cube to his lips with his cuffed hands. His tank was still making angered rumblings at him though, and he hesitated. His optics fell on Ratchet, who gave him a 'drink it down or I'll kick your aft' look. He sipped at the strange energon. It tasted good, _really good _in fact. It was thick and sweet. He easily gulped down the small serving and almost immediately, his fuel tank calmed. He stared down in disbelief at the emptied container.

"Here. This is a confidentiality contract. Nothing said between the three of us will be repeated outside of here." Ratchet shoved the datapad at Thundercracker while taking away the empty container. He glanced over the form, and it seemed legitimate. As legitimate as any Autobot contract could be to a Decepticon, anyway. He pressed his thumb the pad's surface leaving his electronic signature behind. Prime and Ratchet then each did the same. "Okay, crack that cockpit of yours and lemmie see your spark."

Thundercracker straightened his posture and did as directed. "How did you know what I was going to ask?"

Ratchet held the scanner up to his chest over the spark chamber. "There are only two reasons for a Cybertronian to purge their tank. Either they've consumed too much high grade and the body expels it to protect the systems from permanent damage, or they are sparked and drinking a low-grade energon lacks the higher energy content their body needs to maintain two sparks, so it's rejected."

Thundercracker glanced at Prime. Even with half of his face hidden he could see the surprise in his optics.

"But, if I need the energon, why the frag would I purge it?" asked Thundercracker.

"Well, back on Cybertron you'd be queasy on something like a mid-grade but probably not purge. Here on Earth, the energon would be considered low-grade back home since it is riddled with impurities, which your body is rejecting. Basically, your body knows best, and it's trying to tell you it needs something better." Ratchet's frown faded to a small smile. "So! You wanna see it?"

"See what?" Thundercracker asked, furrowing his brow.

"Your sparkling, well, sparklet as of now. Looks like you're well into phase one. Fast little thing," said Ratchet as he stepped over to an oversized monitor and hooked the scanner up to it. The screen lit up with a replayed loop of Thundercracker's spark pulsing. He slid to the edge of the berth, staring intently at the screen. A small flash of light moving faster than his spark zipped across. "See? Fast! Never saw one like that before. Give it a sec; it'll come around again." Sure enough the speeding light cut across the screen again, and Ratchet paused the feed.

Thundercracker got to his feet and walked over staring wide-opticked at the image of a second tiny spark beside his own. A new budding life was inside of him. No matter how incredible it seemed, it also remained a representation his loss of control when it came to Skywarp and the danger he had put them both in.

"I need you to get rid of it. This was my mistake, and I need it undone," Thundercracker said as he dropped his gaze to his cuffed hands, unable to look at the image of life a moment longer as shame burned in fuel lines.

"Well, it takes two to make one. Does the other creator have any idea?" asked Ratchet.

"I was the fragging idiot that dropped all my firewalls, and no, he doesn't know," replied Thundercracker.

"This isn't all on you. It takes both of you dropping firewall networks, and sparking doesn't happen every time with an exposed spark merge either. It can take several, even hundreds of tries sometimes. And for some pairs, which aren't compatible, it never happens."

Thundercracker snapped his gaze back up at the screen. They both had to close down their firewalls? That meant the little budding life inside him was literally created by his and Skywarp's love for one another. He knew it was definitely love they felt. That he never doubted. But since the first spark merge it seemed like he was the one that had fallen deeper into the abyss of such a forbidden emotion. This little life was confirmation that his deep love was returned him fully and that realization made his spark pulse with resounding joy.

Suddenly, destroying the sparklet felt wrong.

The frozen image of the little light that was nestled against his own spark represented the love he and Skywarp shared. It was then a part of his processor reminded him of Megatron and Starscream and why he had to get rid of it. Returning to reality, he remembered the whole pain, imprisonment, and possible repercussions for Skywarp if he did something so selfish as keeping it. His small swell of joy was crushed by the hard truth of the matter: they were Decepticons. There would be no 'keeping it.'

He lowered his head, breaking his gaze on the screen and staring at the scanner and short cord plugging it into the control panel. Anger at his circumstance swelled through him. His whole frame trembled from the rage that came funneling to the surface from deep within. This wasn't something he could ever have. A family, a peaceful life, none of that was possible, and he had been a fool to think otherwise even for a moment.

With his cuffed hands he lunged at the cable, ripping it out of the console. He then grabbed hold of the scanner and tossed it to the floor where it broke into pieces. He quickly found himself face down on the floor as well with the Autobot leader pinning him down by his sensitive wings.

"Fraggit! Watch the wings you oversized ogre!" Thundercracker shouted.

"Prime, don't dent his wings; they're probably sensitive like Prowl's doorwings!" explained Ratchet.

Thundercracker felt the weight over him shift. His elbows were pressed flush to the floor, and he felt the large weight of the Autobot leader press down on his legs. He didn't bother to struggle though. In fact, he felt himself slipping into a mentally numb state. It was all too much to process. He was sparked, he was loved, but he was also a Decepticon, which meant he was fragged no matter which way he looked at it.

He flicked his optics off, half expecting to be terminated on the spot by the powerful Autobot leader.

"Thundercracker… that's your name, right?" asked Ratchet.

"Yes," he replied quietly, waiting for the worst case scenario to play itself out. Better he die here than get Skywarp involved anyway.

"I'm not going to destroy it now. I want you to think this over, and more importantly talk this over with your bondmate. I will give you enough rations of the ultra-purified energon to last you just shy of a deca-orn. But it will take some time to prepare them for you. So do me a favor: don't smash anymore of my equipment while you're waiting, _got it?_"

He lit his optics to see Ratchet crouched down staring at him with a hardened expression. He briefly wondered if all medics were ill-tempered since he had seen that exact look on Hook's face countless times. "You aren't going to kill me?" he asked.

"We wouldn't do that," replied Prime in a calm, almost reassuring voice.

Twisting his head at an angle, his optics met with Prime's. "And why not? Megatron would happily scrap one of you in the reverse situation. In fact, I will probably get myself slagged if he ever found out I was here."

"I am not Megatron." Prime's answer was simple and very true. "You need help. Decepticon or not, I will not deny anyone in need of help."

Thundercracker turned his head so his face pressed against the floor again. "I don't deserve your help."

Prime ignored his statement. "Ratchet, go ahead and prep the rations. I will look after our guest."

"Sure," replied the medic as he stood back up.

Thundercracker felt the weight on his body lift away and before he could struggle to his feet, Prime grabbed hold of him just under his arms and hoisted him back up to stand. He twisted around, giving the Autobot leader a dark stare. "I didn't need you to stand me up."

Prime shook his head faintly. "Next time I won't then."

_Next time._ He would have to come back here. Risk everything again to return with his final decision. Deep in his spark he knew he was a fool to think it was even remotely possible to have a family with Skywarp. It already sounded completely ludicrous in his own mind, let alone out loud when it would come time to explain everything to his mate.

"May I ask you something?"

Glancing back up at Prime, he shrugged. "You can ask. I make no promises I will answer."

"Fair enough," replied Prime with a touch of amusement his voice. "Being bonded is not acceptable practice among the Decepticons?"

"No. It's a sign of weakness to engage in close, personal relationships," replied Thundercracker.

"Then how is it you are bonded?" asked Prime, who seemed genuinely curious.

Thundercracker was silent for a long moment as he considered how it had happened. If he had been thinking clearly he might not have forged the bond in the first place, but at the same time he had needed that complete connection to Skywarp. Even now his entire being craved his bondmate in ways he didn't really have words for, let alone understand. All he knew for sure was they were meant for one another. "I took the risk for what I truly wanted."

"Hm," replied Prime as he wandered over to a berth and sat. "If you truly want a sparkling, why not take that risk as well?"

Thundercracker lifted his optics to settle on Prime. "I never said I wanted it. Besides, that's different. I wouldn't be able hide a sparkling in my quarters."

"You could leave the Decepticons," replied Prime.

"Keh. Right. Then what? Be a slagging Autobot?" Thundercracker scoffed.

"That _is_ an option." What little he could see of Prime's face told him the Autobot leader was very serious.

"Not for all the energon in the universe," he replied as he perked up his wings proudly.

"Why are you so loyal to a group that would punish you for possibly wanting some semblance of the lives we all abandoned for this war?"

"There is a reason you are all ground pounders," replied Thundercracker sharply.

Prime lowered his head and looked down. "You are referring to Sentinel Prime's orders to ground fliers, I assume."

"Wouldn't you fight for something that defines who you are?" asked Thundercracker.

Prime nodded. "I do." He looked back up at Thundercracker. "And I am not Sentinel Prime. I rescinded that order as soon as I took his place."

"Doesn't bring back the dead or those who went insane from being grounded." A painful piece of his memory bank he had carefully kept locked away resurfaced on him. His father, who loved him so dearly, had his ability to fly removed by the Council's forces that tried to move into Vos. Thundercracker had been in his new trine for less than a stellar cycle when he returned home to retrieve his father and take him to a stronghold, but he got there too late. The images of his father's corpse lying out across the entryway of their home were haunting even now. He had his own neck cables gripped in one hand, his chest wide open with his spark chamber empty, seemingly smashed by his other hand. That had been the moment that solidified Thundercracker's alliance with the Decepticons, who promised freedom to the fliers.

A hand on his shoulder broke his stream of painful memories. He reflexively jerked away and narrowed his optics on Prime. "Don't touch me," he hissed. "I won't ever be a slagging Autobot, no matter what romantic notion you might harbor to the contrary."

Prime held up his hands in a defensive posture. "Understood." As he lowered his arms, a wistful expression filled his optics. "I just wonder if that is the true reason you remain loyal, seeing as that is no longer a threat to your way of life. Are you now fighting out of some sense of revenge? Or just because that's how it's been for so long that you have grown used that life no matter how uncomfortable or unhappy it makes you? If it's the latter, it seems to me that this sparkling could be an opportunity to take control over your future life and happiness. To no longer be ruled by Megatron's whims and chose your own way."

The doors to medbay swung open, and Ratchet wheeled in a cart with a stack of magenta colored energon cubes. The interruption prevented Thundercracker from replying to Prime.

"All right. Here is deca-cycle's worth. Hope you have a decent sized subspace pocket," said Ratchet as he motioned for Thundercracker to join him at the cart.

He walked over and frowned deeply at the medic as he lifted his cuffed hands up. "I can't put them in subspace while my hands are bound."

"Oh." Ratchet glanced over at his leader and gave him a small smile.

Prime walked over and undid the cuffs. Thundercracker rubbed his wrists for a moment, then reached over to begin depositing the energon into storage for later.

"There are a couple of things you need to know about your condition…" Ratchet paused and Thundercracker glanced up. "You are currently pretty far along into phase one. That means your body needs the ultra-pure energon from this point on. My guess from the size of the sparklet is that you are about a deca-cycle away from phase two. Possibly sooner once you are on these rations."

"What does that mean?" asked Thundercracker as he narrowed his optics.

"Phase two is when the sparklet starts to put a strain on all your systems from its growth. That means for most mechs being extremely fatigued and needing a lot of extra recharge. Systems will usually adjust by a couple of deca-cycles, or about six Earth weeks, and eventually start to compensate for the extra draw of energy," Ratchet explained.

Thundercracker looked back at the cubes on the cart, his mind suddenly swimming in possible scenarios of being too tired to function and the dangerous outcomes that might lead to.

"If you do decide to keep the sparkling, I do offer you sanctuary here," said Prime.

Thundercracker looked up at the Autobot leader with surprise. "I already told you I would never defect to your side."

"I understand that. What I am offering a safe place for you to have your sparkling. I don't expect you to fight by our side or even integrate into the crew. By your descriptions, I doubt being exhausted would go unnoticed at your base. Here, we would offer you protection," Prime replied.

Thundercracker nodded in agreement with the offer but highly doubted he would go through with having the sparkling. That meant a huge upheaval in not just his life but also Skywarp's as well. He had struck a delicate balance as it was just by trying to keep their bond secret. He couldn't imagine himself suddenly having a family and leaving the Decepticon army. Being so far entrenched into his faction, he simply couldn't see life outside it. Maybe Prime had made a valid point…

It was getting late, though, and he needed to get back before anyone noticed he was missing. More importantly, he needed to spend some time alone thinking this all through carefully. Making rash decisions got him into this mess, so he wanted to be sure he took his time in figuring a way out. Grabbing the last rations, he tucked them safely away. "I need to get back."

"One more thing," said Ratchet, his voice stern. "You _should not _spark merge until you are no longer carrying."

"Why?" Thundercracker asked.

"The energy surge could either extinguish the sparklet or cause it to split."

"Split?"

"Twinned sparks. I will tell you right now I have never seen a carrier survive twinned sparking. Almost always, the carrier perishes during the separation. And even if you want to terminate before separation, you are risking your life." Ratchet's serious tone sent a shiver down Thundercracker's back strut.

"All right. No merging." Thundercracker looked back at Prime. "I really do need to go, though." The Autobot leader nodded once then stepped forward to put the cuffs back on.

Thundercracker was led out of the base. At the entrance Prime told the silver gunner to retrieve the arm cannons, and then all three walked out into the darkness of the predawn.

"Set them there," Prime ordered Bluestreak, who complied and set the weapons down. "You can return to your post." The small mech paused, seemingly unsure of the order, but relented. Once he was some distance away, Prime undid the cuffs. "I wish you the best."

Thundercracker cocked a half smile at the Autobot leader. He was Megatron's opposite in every way. Only an Autobot would wish goodwill toward a Decepticon. "You really mean that, don't you?"

Prime's optics dimmed slightly. "Yes, I do."

Thundercracker shook his head at Prime. "Don't waste your kindness on me." He leaned down to snatch up his arm cannons and lifted into the air with his heel jets as he reattached them. "Thanks for your hospitality and deciding to not scrap me on sight." With a blast from his thrusters he took off into the night sky, leaving the ground and its inhabitants far below.

Up in the sky, he was free from the weight of the world he felt he had such little control over. He gazed at the beautiful wisps of clouds that reflected the moon's light with an almost unnatural looking glow. He knew needed to work through it all piece by piece and figure out what he should do. At least for now he had the proper fuel and was relieved to no longer feel so sick. The idealistic Autobots had been somewhat amusing, so full of hope even after everything that had happened. He had long since lost his sense of hope for the future and took solace in the fact that at least he had one thing he cherished more than anything in the here and now: his bondmate. Emotionally, he felt drained by the whole interaction with the Autobots, though, and now he needed to return to the _Nemesis_. Return his life as a Decepticon.

* * *

_A/N- Thank you for the reviews and advice! Like I said before, this story is in process. The next part will be posted very soon. I don't like asking for reviews, but it's helpful to get feedback. So if you like it, please tell me why, and if you have helpful things to also say please do. Thank you!!_


	3. Choices

Title: Regardless – Choices

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (interfacing scene)

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker accidentally gets himself sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do?

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119._

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song "Roads" by Portishead.

_"__Storm… in the morning light__  
I feel__  
No more can I say  
Frozen to myself__"_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

_It seemed like they never stopped arguing. _

_Thundercracker pushed aside a container of toys and then wedged himself into his closet to hide from the yelling. He pulled the door shut and huddled into a ball in the darkness. Every time his father bought something for him, his other father would yell. He had even witnessed the anger spiral out of control to point of his father's wings being dented or bent. _

_He wrapped his arms around his legs and pressed his forehead to his knees. Then he began to gently rock back and forth. The rhythm always brought him comfort when he was upset. He would slide away from reality and replay his memory files from his flying classes. In the air he was free. Nothing could weigh him down. He could escape all the things that hurt up there and wished sometimes he could stay up there forever and never have to come back down. _

_A light tap on the closet door caught his attention. He remained still, suppressing even the sound of his air intakes. The tap repeated, light and quiet. _

"_Hey. I know you're in there. I see you put your toy bin out here." His father's voice was always soft and kind towards him, no matter how bad a fight he had been in. "Can I come in there, too?"_

_Thundercracker frowned, feeling unsure, but eventually he relented and reached out to push the sliding door aside a crack to peek out. "Not enough room."_

"_No? Well, maybe if I move the other bin next to you we could both fit. Should we try?" _

_He considered the offered plan and looked at the other oversized bin beside him that held some of his first upgrades. His first set of wings, his first chestplate, among other items that his father hadn't the heart to scrap once he grew out of them. "Okay," he finally replied as he turned around in the small space and shoved the bin toward the door. His father opened the other sliding door and pulled the bin out, then stepped inside the closet and carefully sat down. He extended his arms, and Thundercracker crawled into his lap. _

"_You want to shut the door, or should I?" asked his father._

"_I'll do it!" Thundercracker reached out and pulled the doors tightly shut, hiding them both in the darkness. _

"_Sit on my lap like I'm a big chair," his father said. Thundercracker did as he was asked and sat with his winged back against his father's chest. His father then wrapped his arms around him and tugged him close in a firm embrace. _

_Neither said anything for a few kliks. Thundercracker relaxed against the warmth of his father's frame, enjoying the quiet. _

"_It's nice in here. I can see why you like it," his father commented softly. _

"_It's okay. I like it better with you in here," replied Thundercracker. _

_The arms around him gave a gentle squeeze as his father placed a kiss to his helm. "You are my little light, you know that?"_

"_Your light?"_

"_Yep! My reason for being," replied his father. _

_Thundercracker furrowed his brow, unsure what his father meant. Just like how he didn't understand why his other father hated him so much. "Why do you always fight with him? Is it because he hates me?"_

_He felt another kiss placed to the top of his helm. "Ignore him. He's not worth worrying about, okay?"_

_He nodded in response, even though that didn't really answer his question. Thundercracker wondered if he'd ever understand why his creators seemed to hate one another so much. _

o o o o

In the quiet of his quarters Thundercracker awoke from his short recharge. Because of his middle-of-the-night trip, he only got about an Earth hour or so to rest before he knew Skywarp would be returning. He hadn't expected a memory file dump. Slowly he sat up, mulling over the old memory file.

His fuel tank made a gurgle, letting him know it was almost empty again. He got up and wandered over to his personal cabinet to retrieve one of the ultra-pure energon cubes that he had hidden at the bottom. He gulped down the thick, sweet liquid fuel and, unlike the last two days, his tank's reaction to refueling was normal again, humming contentedly in response. Dispersing the emptied container, he wandered to his berth and sat down, resting his arms on his knees.

His mind wandered between his own sparklinghood and the sparklet he now knew he was carrying. He had about three Earth weeks to figure out what he should do. Logically, the sparklet needed to be destroyed. It really was the only option if he looked at the circumstance from the outside. Their love had spun out of control and this budding life was proof of that. If it was so clear-cut though, how had he been talked into thinking it over?

…Or is that how it's been for so long that you have grown used to that life no matter how uncomfortable or unhappy it makes you?…

Prime's words gnawed at something within his spark. This hadn't been how he saw his life turning out at all. Before the war, he thought he would fly with his trine and make his one father proud by performing in competitions all over Cybertron. They had the potential back then to be ranked the top fliers on the planet. Then the war broke out, his father took his own life, lines were drawn, and he chose his side. Now stellar cycles upon stellar cycles later the two sides were at an impasse. Megatron had destroyed their home world with his power-lust and they had all gotten themselves entrenched in warfare on this dirtball planet with neither side making headway. This was not how he saw his life unfolding.

Despite Prime's words to the contrary, Thundercracker couldn't see a way out that didn't involve going against everything he had become. What ate at him most, though, was that this was not what he wanted to be. His personal desires had been squashed by the desires of those above him in rank. If he really thought about it, he had always given up what he wanted to benefit others, even when he was little by always giving into his loving father's gentle demands. It seemed harmless to give into him, but he wondered if that had set the pattern he now followed without thinking. He let his head hang low between his shoulders as his depressing thoughts pulled him under.

The door to the room slid open, and Skywarp walked in with a smile on his face. He looked up and immediately recognized that smile as one that indicated his mate had either already done or was about to do something nefarious. Skywarp stopped just beyond the pair of berths as the door hissed close behind him.

"You look like your usual self, depressed," said Skywarp.

Thundercracker allowed the corner of his lips to pull up into a hint of a smile. "Depressed, huh? I was just thinking about things."

Skywarp crossed his arms over his chest as he shook his head. "You think too much."

"You act on impulse too often," Thundercracker countered.

Suddenly, Skywarp bounded across the remaining distance to where Thundercracker sat and smashed into him, knocking them back onto the berth with a loud series of clangs as their bodies crashed together. "What was that? I am too unpredictable for your taste?" asked Skywarp as he play-punched at Thundercracker's sides.

Thundercracker wrapped an arm around Skywarp's neck and pulled it to his chest while twisting a fist against the top of his helm. Skywarp made sounds of protest as he tried to squirm out of the headlock. "You aren't the only one that can act on whim."

"Let go!" yelped Skywarp. Thundercracker complied, and his young mate lifted his head to look at him. Gazing into those beautiful crimson optics he felt his spark pulse happily until Skywarp's face twisted with confusion. "Hey, I can't feel you in my spark."

"I closed my side of the bond. Sorry." With that, Thundercracker let it open, and he instantly felt his mate's playful amusement along with confusion flicker over it.

"Why did you close it?"

"I don't want to depress you by proxy."

"Keh! Like you could! If anything I can try and cheer you up when you get like that," said Skywarp as he ran one hand up Thundercracker's side suggestively.

He shivered in response. "Oh?" Thundercracker replied.

Skywarp's optics flashed brightly as he lowered his head to glide his lips over Thundercracker's cockpit glass slowly. "Is your fuel tank feeling better?" asked Skywarp before he started to softly mouth the various shapes of plating and glass.

Thundercracker rumbled his engine a little. "Much better," he replied as he slid his dark hands up over the curves of his mate's frame. "Why? You have something in mind?"

A flurry of varied thoughts regarding possible positions slipped over their bond. "You writhing underneath," replied Skywarp after he seemed to finish considering the options.

"You gonna make it worth my while?" Thundercracker asked teasingly. A distraction from his current thoughts seemed like something he could really use right now.

"Don't I always?" Skywarp pushed himself up on his hands and knees and started to lightly tap at Thundercracker's side in order to herd him into a better spot on the berth. "Scoot!"

"Yes, sir." He couldn't help the smile that spread across his lips. They had always teased and had fun even before their foray into this bonded relationship. Skywarp's mischievous ways were huge part of his charm. He was a counterbalance in many ways. Where Thundercracker would get lost in his thoughts, Skywarp thrived on action. They offered one another stability. Suddenly he heard Ratchet's words repeating: it takes two to make one.

Fingers pinched at his hip plate, and Thundercracker snapped his attention to Skywarp. "Only you would space out right now."

"Tell me something Warp. If there was no war, no Megatron, no Prime, not even Starscream, just us… what would you want our life to be like?" asked Thundercracker in all seriousness.

Skywarp's optics dimmed as he seemed to consider the question. "Hm. I'd want to frag you all the time," he replied with a huge grin.

Thundercracker lightly shoved Skywarp's shoulder. "Aside from the obvious."

"I don't know, TC. I always wanted a house all my own. Like a big one! I have only ever had rooms in other people's houses or no room at all." Skywarp's cheerful expression faded a little. Something about that repressed sadness he knew his mate carried deep within bothered Thundercracker, especially since he was helpless to heal it.

"Only us then? What about having…a sparkling?" He internally cringed at his question. It needed to be asked, though. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell Skywarp he was already carrying, especially if it wasn't something Skywarp wanted.

"A sparkling?" Skywarp repeated with wide optics. Suddenly his optics narrowed while he also lifted an optic ridge. "Have we met? I'm not exactly the type to be taking care of a sparkling. I can barely look after myself. Pit, TC! You look after me! Good thing, too. I'm sure I'd be dead by now if you didn't."

"You'd never want one then?" asked Thundercracker trying to make sure he understood clearly.

"Not anytime soon," replied Skywarp. "Why are you asking me such weird questions?"

"I've just been thinking about my father a lot lately. That's all." Thundercracker rested his hands on Skywarp's hips. His spark ached a little as he realized his mate was simply not ready for that sort of life.

"The one that was mean to you?" asked Skywarp, his voice edged with a clear dislike for someone he had never even met.

"No. The one that wanted me. I was just trying to understand why."

"You think too much, TC."

"You said that already," he replied as he gently squeezed Skywarp's hips in his grip. "So distract me. Make me forget about things I can't do anything about."

"Anything for you," Skywarp dipped down and licked the air vent on his chest, wriggling his glossa over the slatted part. Heat shot through Thundercracker's entire frame, and he moaned softly in reply. Skywarp withdrew his glossa, and his lips pulled into a wide smile. "By the time I'm done with you won't remember your own name."

Thundercracker let out a laugh at his mate's threat.

Skywarp didn't disappoint. His mouth and glossa explored every inch of Thundercracker's chest and torso, dipping into crevices and teasing at hidden sensitive nodes that covered his frame. All the while he ran his own hands over Skywarp's wings, drawing shivers from his mate as he stimulated the hundreds of sensors that ran the expanse of his dark wings.

Purple hands moved over his interface panel, lightly tracing the edges. Skywarp knew what felt good and what didn't, always touching with the right amount of pressure to bring pleasure. Never once had Thundercracker felt any ounce of discomfort with him, which he couldn't say for past berth partners. They had also interfaced countless times now, which had helped them to learn one another's preferences and what turned them on most.

Skywarp pushed Thundercracker's legs to bend upward at the knees until his feet rested flat against the berth. He leaned down and licked across the closed interface panel while maintaining optic contact. Thundercracker often mused that Skywarp could make drinking energon look sexy if he had that certain glint in his optics like he did in the berth.

In lazy random lines, Skywarp drew his fingers over the interface panel as he smiled wickedly up at Thundercracker. "I plan on making your port mine, so if you have any last requests, now's the time."

Thundercracker let a huge grin cross his lips. "Last requests, hm?"

"Anything you want me to do," Skywarp offered with his playful smile.

"Take my guard shift at the new space bridge site," Thundercracker replied.

Skywarp pursed his lips into a pouty frown. "We have the same shift, moron."

"Oh, right," he replied, feigning ignorance. "Then how about a little performance? One where you touch yourself."

"Hm. I think I can do that for you." Skywarp sat back up to kneel between Thundercracker's parted legs. In slow motions he pressed his hands over his sides and down over the front of his hips. His fingertips then traced along the edges of the closed interface panel. One purple hand moved back up the length of his body, pausing at the recessed vent and then slowly rimmed around its edge. A soft click echoed in the room, and Thundercracker glanced back down to see the exposed interface array and the other purple hand slowly traversing the shape of the extending jack.

Watching Skywarp exposed and touching himself never failed to send heat rushing through Thundercracker's systems. It was erotic to watch, and he liked that this was a private show that no one else was allowed access to. Skywarp's beauty was laid bare for him alone. He ran his own hands down the length of his torso and started to fondle his own interface panel cover as he watched Skywarp.

Purple fingers carefully wrapped around Skywarp's own jack as he slowly started to squeeze and run his hand up and down its length. Thundercracker undid his panel, grabbed hold of his own jack and did the same. The other purple hand then moved down to rim the exposed port. Skywarp moaned softly at his own self-pleasure and pressed a fingertip past the open entrance inside his port.

Thundercracker's gaze was pinned on the sight of Skywarp stimulating both his jack and port at once. All thoughts about sparklings, or being sparked, instantly erased from his mind. The sight of Skywarp gently bucking his hips against his finger buried inside his port was all that occupied Thundercracker's processor.

"Put another finger in," Thundercracker said, his voice husky with desire.

"Only if you put one in your own port," Skywarp replied.

He frowned at the counter command but complied and slid a fingertip inside his own port, wanting his request honored. It was already dewy with his building arousal, and he slowly pumped it and out. Touching himself was not something he had ever done in front of anyone before, but he felt safe enough to do so with Skywarp. It was a testament to the trust they shared.

"Good," Skywarp said in a pleased tone. He then moved to press two fingers into the exposed port and made a soft keening sound in response.

Unable to help himself, Thundercracker moaned at the sight as well as the stimulation of his own port and jack.

Skywarp's optics darkened in hue as he quickened the pace of his actions and moaned each time his fingers slid deep inside. He bit his lip and furrowed his brow as he concentrated on the rhythmic motions.

"Primus, Warp." Thundercracker could feel his own port growing slick from just watching.

"I'll do three, and you do two," Skywarp said with a casual-looking smile.

Nodding, Thundercracker then slid two fingers into his port and started to squeeze at his jack even harder. As promised, Skywarp then pressed three fingers inside himself and threw his head back, groaning as he did so.

"It feels so good, TC... like when you are inside me," Skywarp commented as he started to lightly pant. He rolled his head forward again, his optics sharply focusing on the view of Thundercracker mimicking his actions. "Press them all the way in, as far as they'll go, and touch the sensor buried in there."

"Hey, I'm the one that wanted the show," Thundercracker said, his voice somewhat strained-sounding.

Laughing, Skywarp pulled his fingers free of his own port and wrapped them around his jack, coating it with the fluid that covered them. "I think showtime is over anyway. I want to overload inside you, and I'm more than ready."

Thundercracker smiled at his mate, letting his lust permeate their bond. "Me, too." His fingers slipped free of his port, and Skywarp caught his hand, licking the fluid that coated his fingers. The sight made Thundercracker's whole frame faintly tremble with anticipation and desire.

Moving into position over him, Skywarp pressed his hands down on either side of his helm and teased the head of his jack against Thundercracker's sensitized port entrance. Thundercracker usually slid in slowly, but that just wasn't Skywarp's style. In a single forward thrust, the jack pushed inside. Skywarp remained still, buried deep as he let Thundercracker adjust to pleasurable intrusion. It didn't last more than moment, though, as the walls of his port pulsed around the hot jack. Thundercracker's port was more than ready for this; in fact it yearned for it.

"No need to wait," Thundercracker said, placing his hands on silvery colored hips.

Skywarp pulled out all the way, and he felt his port's inner walls tremble at the feeling of loss. Thundercracker grunted at Skywarp, who grinned wickedly. "You're gonna forget your name," he said, renewing his threat. With that, the heat returned full force as his jack plunged in again. A steady, strong rhythm was quickly established. Skywarp's jack pushed in and out, setting off every sensor node buried inside Thundercracker with each thrust.

Thundercracker rolled his head back against the berth, parting his lips to moan while rocking his hips in time with Skywarp's. The world around them dropped away. Heat and pleasure from Skywarp's movements were all that occupied his processor as he gave in completely. At some point he was aware of Skywarp lying across him and pressing small kisses to his neck cables and chin. He lifted a hand to rest on the back of Skywarp's helm as their fevered pace increased in speed. Each thrust brought Thundercracker closer to the brink of overload.

"You ...wanna ...merge?" Skywarp asked between heavy pants.

You should not spark merge until you are no longer carrying.

Thundercracker heard the medic's voice echo across his lust-laden processor. Good thing he was about to overload. "Can't...gonna..." he trailed off as his body stiffened with a white-hot overload that careened through his entire being. From his helm to the bottom of his pedes, he felt nothing less than a lovely euphoric release of energy. He groaned and arched against Skywarp, who he felt trembling against him with his own overload.

"Ahhh, TC..." Skywarp moaned as his body grew rigid, then went limp over him.

Thundercracker's joints all went slack as he relaxed against the berth with the heated weight of his mate over him. He flicked off his optics knowing he needed more recharge time, especially after such a satisfying overload. All thoughts were pushed to the back of his processor as he basked in the afterglow of pleasure that had taken over his entire frame. Skywarp knew how to please, there was no doubt about that.

He hadn't forgotten entirely about his current situation, but he felt far too happy to ruin the moment. He decided to slip offline before he could. Problems could wait, he decided.

o o o o

___Tomorrow I'll take care of it_, he kept telling himself. Tomorrow would come and go without him sneaking off to the Autobot base to have the sparklet extinguished, though. It had been nearly three Earth weeks, and his collection of special rations had dwindled to three. He knew it was impossible to keep the sparklet considering the circumstances and how Skywarp didn't seem ready for that type of responsibility. It all made perfect sense why he had to end the budding life.

Still.

All the logical reasoning he could muster within his processor couldn't seem to quash the unreasonable fantasy of wanting a family. Of no longer fighting in battles, ending up with dented wings, or worrying if Skywarp would be all right. Of taking their sparkling out flying...

He winced at his own thoughts as he glanced over at Skywarp and Starscream. They were all unloading energon off Astrotrain's cargo hold and into the space bridge to send back to Shockwave.

"This seems like an awful lot of energon to be sending over, Megatron," Starscream commented as he paused, looking at the large stack sitting in the middle of the circular bridge. Thundercracker walked past him and deposited another few cubes on the pile. "Why does Shockwave need so much? All he's got to maintain are a bunch of sparkless droids. We need this fuel more tha─"

"Stop questioning me you insolent fool!" Megatron's optics narrowed on Starscream, who didn't so much as flinch. Thundercracker's attention bounced between them, and he wondered if Starscream was in the mood to escalate the argument or not.

"I think we should keep this fuel and use it to help build some sort of weapon that would eradicate the Autobots once and for all, instead of tossing it over the bridge and wasting our time gathering more," Starscream said in his holier-than-thou tone.

Megatron's face hardened with anger. "Perhaps I should simply destroy you, my treacherous Starscream. That would be one less fuel tank to keep full, and I would be rid of your irritating presence."

Thundercracker internally shook his head at them. Their relationship was so incredibly volatile, he didn't understand why they tolerated one another at all. But then, it really didn't look that different than his own creators' relationship to one another.

Suddenly, Laserbeak came swooping down and landed on Soundwave's outstretched forearm. "Laserbeak reports Autobots approaching," Soundwave droned.

"Starscream, lead a counter attack to buy us time! Reflector, Soundwave, finish unloading the energon!" Megatron shouted.

"As you wish, oh glorious leader," Starscream replied, his voice dripping with venomous sarcasm. "Thundercracker, Skywarp, let's go!" Starscream lifted into the air and took off. Thundercracker did the same with Skywarp just behind. They flew up and out of the canyon ravine the space bridge sat nestled in. In the distance, a cloud of dust was being kicked up, a tell-tale sign of the Autobots approaching.

Thundercracker surveyed the landscape quickly. Huge rocks jutted up out of the desert in a seemingly random pattern, otherwise the ground looked completely flat. He frowned, knowing they had very little cover to work with. As he expected, Starscream headed straight at the Autobots and came to a floating stop in front of them to establish a battle line with Thundercracker and Skywarp flanking him. The dust soon settled, revealing a strike team of Autobots, including their leader, Prime.

"Where is Megaton?" Prime asked Starscream.

"Too busy to deal with you," Starscream replied as he placed his hands on his hips. Both Thundercracker and Skywarp pointed their weapons at the small team Prime had brought with him.

Thundercracker visually surveyed the team of Autobots behind Prime. His spark nearly stopped when he laid optics on the white medic. What was he doing here? In an instant his self-preservation and his duty as a Decepticon came into direct conflict. His processor whirred as it tried to figure out to engage in a battle without harming Ratchet. He needed the medic to remain in one piece so he could remove the sparklet.

"We believe a human was accidentally picked up in your last raid. We would like him safely returned." Prime always tried to talk before he took action.

"A human! You're mistaken!" Starscream lifted one of his arm cannons up pointed directly at Prime.

Thundercracker found the accusation odd, too. They would have surely spied a human while they were unloading.

"I am not mistaken. This human is small. A child who had been taking part in a human ritual of 'taking offspring to work day'. Please return him at once." Prime remained calm and steady in the face of Starscream, who started to cackle at the notion.

"Just when I thought those squishy organics couldn't be any more pathetic!" Starscream then fired on the Autobot leader, who leapt out of the way. A battle quickly ignited with laser fire pinging everywhere.

:: Megatron, they are here for a squishy human they think we have, :: Starscream reported over the general .

:: Yeees. I just located said human. :: Megatron replied.

Within moments, the Decepticon leader appeared along with Soundwave.

"Hold your fire!" Prime yelled at his troops.

All laser fire ceased as Megatron flew in with a small human dangling in his grip and crying. The sound made Thundercracker's spark clench in its chamber, although he wasn't exactly sure why.

"Did you want this?" Megatron asked.

"Return the human at once!" Prime commanded.

"I hope you are quick on your feet Prime. Catch!" Megatron tossed the fragile being into the air.

Every joint and cable in Thundercracker's body tensed as he watched helplessly. All he could think was how he and that small human child weren't all that different in the optics of Megatron. Neither one's life was of any value to the cold and selfish leader. They were just pawns in a greater scheme that served to advance Megatron's personal agendas. Thundercracker felt as worthless and impotent to change anything that happened as that human child most likely did.

Just as the human fast approached the ground, a black and white Porsche sped to its rescue, transforming in a fluid motion and catching the child in his hands.

'TC? What's with you?' Skywarp's voice over their bond brought him out of his trance.

'What do you mean?'

'I feel like you're upset. It's just a squishy. What do you care?'

Thundercracker allowed his anger to filter through the bond as he turned his optics on his mate, darkly glaring at him.

'TC...' Confusion and hurt pushed back over their bond from Skywarp.

Thundercracker then snapped his end of the bond closed. This was not the time or place for a discussion.

"Attack!" Megatron shouted.

The fighting resumed. Thundercracker kept a watchful optic on the medic while firing randomly into the gathered group of Autobots. Soundwave let his casseticons loose, which led to an impromptu earthquake brought on by Rumble and Frenzy. The Autobots scattered into small groups as dust lifted into the air. Thundercracker made sure to chase the medic as he drove off towards a nearby rock outcrop for cover. Stray laser fire from Starscream engaging with the black and white Autobot zipped through the air toward the medic. Thundercracker swooped down and plucked the vehicle off the ground in time to avoid being hit by the null ray fire. He quickly flew to the far side of the rock outcrop and set the medic down. Ratchet transformed and looked up at him, clearly bewildered.

Thundercracker deeply frowned. "Why the frag are you out here? Medics shouldn't fight!"

"We were short–Ah! Never mind! You were supposed to be back with your decision by now!" Ratchet crossed his arms over his chest while frowning back.

"I haven't had the opportunity to sneak out again," Thundercracker lied.

:: Return to the base! The supplies have been sent, and this fight is a waste of energy, :: Megatron called out over the general comm. line.

A funny look crossed Ratchet's face as he raised his gun, pointing somewhere over Thundercracker's shoulder. He turned to see Skywarp swooping down and readying himself to fire at the medic. Thundercracker quickly engaged his thrusters and slammed into Skywarp, causing his laser fire to miss the intended target.

Skywarp then swiftly changed direction to shove Thundercracker hard, knocking him into a piece of the rocky outcrop. "What the frag, TC!"

Rocks and dirt were dislodged as he pulled away. Their optics met and he saw raw anger in his mate's face.

"You just saved that fragging Autobot! You were getting all upset over that stupid human, too! What is the slag wrong with you?" Skywarp's whole frame visibly shook with his barely restrained anger.

"It's nothing to worry about," replied Thundercracker.

"Nothing to worry about? You shut the bond, again! You've been acting weird for weeks now! We haven't spark merged in so long, and you put me off every time I ask! Plus, I heard from Thrust that you even left the base in the middle of the night just before you started acting all off. Tell me now, TC! Tell me what's going on!" Skywarp's shouts echoed off the rocks.

Thundercracker glanced around quickly and was relieved to see they were safely isolated from the Autobots and the rest of the Decepticons were dots against the blue sky in the distance. He also gave a sideways glance at the medic, who stood on the ground below them, looking confused.

Thundercracker then settled his gaze on his mate. "I'm sparked."

"You still haven't told him!" Ratchet said, sounding indignant.

"Sparked? You mean, like, a sparkling?" Skywarp's optics grew wide as he stared at Thundercracker.

"Yes."

"Your weird questions..." Realization bloomed over Skywarp's face, quickly followed by panic. "You have to get rid of it!"

Hearing Skywarp confirm out loud that he didn't want the sparklet dug at something deep inside his spark and hurt far more than Thundercracker was prepared for. His hand instinctively rose to cover the center of his cockpit as he did his best to hold back what he deemed a completely unreasonable reaction. All logic was trumped as emotion took over, burying him a wave of misery. If this were the Golden Times things would be so different. But this was war. Dark and destructive to everything it involved, even them.

"You're gonna get rid of it, right? Is that why you saved the medic?" asked Skywarp.

He winced at Skywarp as he tensed his shoulders. It felt like he had been punched right in the spark. "But we made it. Us."

"TC, we'll be slagged if anyone finds out! Have you lost it?" Skywarp's posture stiffened as he floated back on his heel jets, allowing the space between them to grow a little wider.

More uncontrolled emotions surfaced on Thundercracker. The rejection of the sparklet felt deeply personal, as if Skywarp were rejecting what they were to one another. "Warp..." he said in a hushed voice. It hurt. Hurt in such an unexpected way. Why was he reacting like this? Why couldn't he close down or reason past his emotions?

Suddenly, Skywarp flew closer and grabbed hold of his forearms. "TC, it's insane to keep it. You have to know that. Just get it destroyed, and things will go back to normal."

He looked into his mate's beautiful crimson optics, feeling torn between accepting the reality Skywarp presented him and his foolish, secret hope for a different life. A surge of his painful emotions raged though his spark as he fought to remain reasonable and objective about the situation. This sparklet couldn't be allowed to live...

That's when he felt it.

The sparklet vibrated within his spark, making itself known. As if it were crying out helplessly in the face of imminent death like that human child had done. In an instant, his usual desire to protect Skywarp shifted to the sparklet, and without a second thought he threw his arms out, breaking Skywarp's hold on him.

"Normal! Nothing about this life is normal, Warp! Nothing!" Thundercracker yelled.

"TC..." Skywarp looked shocked by his outburst.

"This means nothing to you? Nothing at all? You just want me to discard it as if it's meaningless!"

"You rather get us both scrapped for what we've done?" Skywarp stared at him intently. "What I want is you in one piece. If that means getting rid of it, then yes, it needs to be destroyed. It has no future anyway, TC! None! And if you keep it neither will we!"

Pain, rejection, loneliness, and despair all surged within his spark, causing the sparklet to respond again. It quivered within him. No longer something just straining his systems, but now something aware of the emotions that he felt and reacting to them. "Go! Go back the Nemesis, Warp! Go back a so-called normal life! I'll take care of it, like I always take care of everything!"

Skywarp's optics dimmed while face pinched at the bridge of his nose, expressing both his anger and hurt. "What happened to protecting us?"

"This is us!" Thundercracker shouted, his voice bouncing off the rock walls. "Just go! I have my answer from you. So just go!"

"Fine! I will!" In less than a spark pulse, Skywarp warped away from the scene.

Thundercracker slowly sunk down with his heel jets until he was standing on the ground. His whole frame was lightly trembling from the sudden rush of emotions. He stared off into the sky toward where the other Decepticons had fled. He saw the outline of a jet appear and leave a vapor trail as it fled the area.

His gaze dropped to the ground as one hand balled into a fist and the other squeezed at the smooth, glassy surface of his cockpit over his spark chamber. Would wiping away the expression of their love and pretend it never happened return them to normal? He faintly shook his head in response. Nothing would be normal again...

"You feel all right?" Ratchet asked him.

He looked up at the medic and narrowed his optics as he attempted to feel angry but found that he didn't have it in him to do so. He was completely drained by his emotional explosion at Skywarp. Expressing how he felt had never come easy, so when he did break down, it took every ounce of his energy in the process. His optics dragged down to the ground again as he felt his processor slow and start go blank. Usually his mind would be abuzz with thoughts, but they all seemed to slip away, leaving him with nothing. No thoughts at all, only the painful feeling of loss left behind.

"Thundercracker?" He heard the medic call his name but didn't bother to respond, letting his head remain bowed as he stared blankly at the ground around his feet. A wave of exhaustion swept through his frame. He was so tired of everything.

Suddenly, a warning flashed over his processor, letting him know a shutdown was imminent. He furrowed his brow, somewhat confused by his body's unexpected and urgent need. He felt himself swaying on his feet, as control over his equilibrium gave way. He was vaguely aware of arms wrapping around his torso in an attempt to help him to sit down. Words that sounded like questions came from the medic's mouth, but he could no longer process them.

The harsh reality of his circumstance only seemed to bring him and Skywarp pain. It was too big to protect them from and too horrible to bring a life into. Needing an escape from the terrible choice he had to make, he gave into the seductive undertow of unconsciousness and slipped offline.

* * *

_A/N- This is longer story in progress. The next part will be posted very soon! Thanks for all the reviews and feedback, I really do appreciate it. Please be sure to keep reviewing and telling me why you like the story, and if you have helpful things to add, please do. Thank you!!_


	4. Alone

Title: Regardless – Alone

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker accidentally gets himself sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119. _

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead. Although I think this passage from the Portishead song 'Only' works best for this chapter:

"_The size of our fight, it's just a dream  
We've crushed everything I can see, in this morning selfishly  
How we've failed and I feel like I do  
It's only you, who can tell me apart" _

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

_In a large angled curve, Thundercracker flew over Vos with his father clinging tightly to him. He was about to graduate the Academy as one of the fastest, most agile fliers in his class. He had broken records going back several vorns with his speed and precise skill in the sky. His father's fingers clutched at Thundercracker's blue paneling as they picked up speed, and he threw his head back laughing, seeming to thoroughly enjoy the ride. His father was also a flier and talented when it came to executing extremely complicated maneuvers, but he lacked Thundercracker's incredible speed. _

_"Oh my little light, you don't need me anymore, do you?" his father said with a pleased-looking smile. _

_Thundercracker shook his head at him. "That's not true." _

_His father pressed his face against Thundercracker's shoulder. Even up so high, Thundercracker sensed the shift in his father's mood. Since his cruel father had died, his loving father's moods would often swing wildly. In an attempt to ward off the sadness he now sensed, Thundercracker flipped to his back without warning. Surprised by the move, his father lifted his head up and looked past his shoulder at the city far below. _

_"It's so pretty from up here, isn't it? Even the slums," his father commented. He then turned his head so their optics locked on one another. "Promise me something." _

_Canting his head faintly, Thundercracker slowed down a little. "What?" _

_"Promise to live. Live on and be strong." _

_"Don't I do that now?" Thundercracker asked as he started to gracefully glide through the air at a slower speed. _

_"You are so young. You have no idea what the future will hold. I know it wasn't an easy household to grow up in. I know my choice for your father wasn't the best. But I picked him because I knew he had the credits to look after a family and he had a special fast-pulsing spark and… I wanted to have a sparkling _more than anything_." His father sadly smiled at him. "You aren't a sparkling anymore, though. You are a matured, responsible, and an extremely talented mech. I am so very proud of you." _

_Thundercracker smiled back, not sure how else to respond. His father's words were sad, despite the praise contained within them._

_His father hugged himself tightly to Thundercracker and pressed his face into the crook of his neck. "Can we go fast again?" _

_"Sure." Thundercracker kicked on his thrusters for a burst of speed. He had wondered over the stellar cycles why he had been created at all. Seemed he finally had an answer of sorts. _

o o o o

Systems sluggishly cycled on. Thundercracker could hear voices speaking quietly nearby. He had a strange sense he wasn't where he should be, but his processor felt too foggy to figure out why. He lay still, waiting for his systems to finish their reboot sequences.

"I'm just worried about you. It's been three days, and you've barely recharged."

"I know. It was hard enough to get Prowl to agree to having him here without armed guard, though. If I leave, he'll send someone like Ironhide, and that's not what I want our guest to wake up to."

Thundercracker recognized the second voice; it was the white medic.

"At least drink the energon I brought ya."

Lighting his optics he glanced toward the area where the voices were. The white medic stood beside a shorter, funny-looking Autobot with lighted headfins. Furrowing his brow, he suddenly realized he was on the Autobot base. A wave of panic hit him as he registered the 'three day' remark. Instantly, he threw open his side of the bond and reached for Skywarp. He felt the quiet pulse of his mate's presence, but no response. _He must be recharging_, Thundercracker decided. He then looked down at his chest as he placed a hand over where his spark chamber lay. After feeling it make its presence known, he couldn't help wondering how the sparklet was doing.

"Thanks for looking out for me, Jackie."

Glancing back over he watched the medic lightly kiss the other one's forehead. He frowned at the overly romantic gesture.

"Ah, Ratch? The readings are fluctuating."

Ratchet turned to look at the screen, then twisted at the waist to look in Thundercracker's direction. "You're up."

"Keen sense of observation you have there," Thundercracker replied dryly.

Ratchet faintly shook his head as he walked over. He set his partially consumed energon down on a side table before moving to stand beside the berth Thundercracker occupied in the corner of their medbay. "How are you feeling?"

Thundercracker's optics landed on the shorter, off-white Autobot. He narrowed them in an attempt to intimidate him, hoping he might leave. He really didn't want anyone else listening in. The other mech's headfins dimmed as he averted his gaze.

"Ah, Wheeljack. Would you mind prepping a few ultra-pure energon cubes?" Ratchet asked as he looked over his shoulder.

"Sure thing." The shorter mech seemed relieved to escape medbay as he quickly exited.

Ratchet turned his attention back toward Thundercracker. "So. How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted."

"Welcome to phase two," replied Ratchet.

"Have I really been here three days?" Thundercracker asked, worried about the impact of his absence on Skywarp.

"Yes," Ratchet replied grimly.

Thundercracker broke optic contact with the medic and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm so slagged," he whispered.

Ratchet remained quiet as he circled the Thundercracker to a screen inset in the wall beside his berth and touched its surface, opening various files. "Your sparklet is doing well," he said as he pointed to a window inside the screen displaying the readout of a constant spark pulse. Thundercracker stared at it. His father's confession about wanting a sparkling more than anything replayed over his processor. "Do you...still want it extinguished?" Ratchet asked in a cautious voice.

"I _can't _keep it," Thundercracker said, unable to mask the pain about his choice.

He saw sadness sweep over Ratchet's features. "Would you allow me to make a somewhat non-medical observation?"

Frowning, Thundercracker nodded.

"It seems to me that your parental protective subroutines have already initiated. Your conscious mind may seem conflicted about the choice, but somewhere in your spark you have already decided to keep your sparklet. Otherwise, those subroutines would have remained dormant. I think you do want your sparkling and... there is nothing wrong with that."

"Don't you get it? It doesn't matter what I want. I don't get to have things because I want them. It's not that simple," Thundercracker replied.

"You have a bondmate. Isn't that something you wanted?" Ratchet said as he crossed his arms over his chest. Thundercracker pressed his lips together tightly, feeling irritated at the medic's brashness toward him.

"We're able to hide the bond." His thoughts quickly turned to Skywarp_._ He had yelled at him. Hurt him...

Ratchet then laughed. "Right, cause getting sparked is a great way of hiding a bond."

"You have no idea, Autobot! You have no clue what it's like to not matter!" Thundercracker yelled. Anger coursed through him at the mocking tone of the medic. "To have every dream or desire stripped away over time and be powerless to stop it."

"You are anything but powerless," Ratchet easily countered, his voice strong and sharp. "If you want something bad enough, _then fight for it._"

Thundercracker grew quiet. Fight for it? He had reluctantly joined the war as part of the trine to fight for the right to remain airborne. Over time he had given up more and more of himself until he became a shell of his who he had once been.

_Promise to live. Live on and be strong._

He had held up the first part of that promise, but what about the second? Did he have the strength to face something as huge as leaving his faction of the war? Did he have the power to protect both a sparkling _and_ Skywarp? Should he fight for the right to have a family?

The doors to medbay slid open and the odd-looking Autobot returned with a few of the magenta colored cubes in his hands. "Here ya go."

Ratchet took the cubes from the other mech and deposited them on the side table, then plucked one off the stack and handed it to Thundercracker. The medic turned and smiled at the other mech. "Thanks. I can handle things, here." The smaller Autobot nodded and once again left medbay in a hurry.

Slowly, Thundercracker sipped the thick, sweet fuel. As the fuel hit his tank, he felt his already sluggish systems slow more. He made a small grunt of disapproval.

"Yeah. A side effect for at least an orn will be slowed systems after energon consumption. Phase two means you need to be sure to recharge whenever you start to feel tired. Otherwise your body will just shut down on you with very little warning."

"Lovely."

Ratchet laughed a little. "From this point on, your body will be focused on sustaining two sparks. The exhaustion will lessen over the next two deca-cycles."

"There are three phases, correct?" Thundercracker asked as he finished off the cube and dispersed the container.

"Yeah. Third one is the fun one," Ratchet said as a small smile crossed his lips.

"Oh?" Thundercracker said in a dubious tone.

"The strain of maintaining two sparks will level out. Systems adjust to the extra output, but only to a point. The sparklet will need more energy than systems will be able to produce to help keep it growing. In order to give the sparklet the added energy it will need, internal systems will have to be overcharged and the resulting release of the built up energy will feed the sparklet. By repeatedly overcharging and releasing, the sparklet will be able to grow to a big enough size to independently sustain itself." Ratchet explained.

"Overcharge and release? What does that mean?" Thundercracker asked, raising an optic ridge.

"Interfacing is the best way, although self-service has the same effect. That's part of why Cybertronians need to be bonded in order to have a sparkling. The non-carrier is supposed to look after the carrier and his needs." Ratchet wandered a few paces away and started to pull a curtain that attached at the ceiling and ran on a series of tracks out and around the area Thundercracker was in, cordoning him off from the rest of medbay.

"You are saying I won't be able to control my urges?"

Ratchet glanced at him. "Probably not. But you have about six Earth weeks before that happens. In the meantime, rest."

The medic slipped to the opposite side of the curtain, leaving Thundercracker to ponder his final decision. At that moment, all he wanted was Skywarp here with him. Why had he been such an aft sending him away like that?

He once again reached out over the bond.

'TC?'

'Warp!' he responded with relief permeating the bond.

Hurt flickered back at him.

'Warp? Are you all right?'

'You've been gone for days.' Skywarp's words were linked with pain and worry.

'I passed out. Part of moving into the next phase of carrying or some such nonsense.' Thundercracker sent his love and reassurance back to Skywarp.

'Oh. So you still have it?'

'Yes.'

No response came. The sensation of his connection to Skywarp thinned.

'Warp?'

'No one knows where you went. Starscream is pretty fragged off. I didn't tell, though.' Skywarp's worry flared again.

The idea of returning to the _Nemesis_ made Thundercracker's tank churn. 'Thanks for covering for me. But...I really want you here with me.' He made sure to send his affection over the bond.

'Why? Aren't you just gonna get rid of it and come back?'

Thundercracker touched his chest. The thought of destroying it, especially after feeling it, seemed cruel. He couldn't help feeling that he wanted something better for all of them. Skywarp never had a family he had been a part of, and Thundercracker realized at that moment if he fought hard enough, that's what they could all be together: a family.

That was when _he knew_. 'No. I want it.'

'TC...' Intense hurt and even a sense of abandonment suddenly barreled over the bond. Before Thundercracker could respond, however, Skywarp snapped his end of the bond closed.

Thundercracker widened his side of bond in a desperate attempt to reach him again, but all he felt was a general sensation of his mate, nothing more. Shocked by being cutting off, he lay still. Had Skywarp really just rejected him over his choice? His spark contracted painfully in its chamber as he realized that _he had_. How could this be happening?

Despair and loss suddenly ripped through his spark, causing the sparklet to quiver in response. His hands shot up to clutch at the glass of his cockpit. "I'm sorry," he whispered to it. "I do want you, though."

Thundercracker had foolishly thought Skywarp would stay by him no matter what, apparently that assumption was wrong. And he didn't even get the chance to explain. His entire body trembled as the reality of the destruction of his carefully constructed world came raining down on him.

He flicked off his optics and started to silently sob. He muted his vocalizer, not wanting the medic to see him fall to pieces. He rolled to one side and pulled his legs up, while holding both his hands over his cockpit. The sparklet continued to quiver in response as he cried alone in silence. Eventually, the enormity of pain from Skywarp's rejection along with his already slowed system's responses became too much for his body to take and he was forced to slip offline again.

o o o o

"_Aren't you excited?" his father asked with a huge grin. "You are getting your wings today!"_

_Thundercracker gazed up at him and smiled back. "Yes!"_

_He never liked the medical center. Upgrades were uncomfortable maintenance procedures, and his memories of the last two were not very pleasant. Still, this was a big day. Wings were what every mech in Vos proudly displayed. They were always painted in flashy colors with striped patterns. He glanced at his father's wings, light and delicate in shape. He had double striped lines in red against the warm blue color of the rest of his wings. Thundercracker wanted blue ones just like them._

_They entered the medical center and got onto the main elevator. In the elevator, he continued to hold fast to his father's hand. Another creator held one small sparkling in his arms while a second ran in circles around the confined space. _

"_Charger! Stop running!" the adult scolded before glancing at Thundercracker standing still, then up at his father. "Your little one is well behaved, isn't he?--Charger!"_

_The sparkling continued to run, bumping into his creator and narrowly missing Thundercracker and his father when he passed by them. _

"_How is yours so well-behaved? He's even holding your hand. How darling."_

_The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. His father carefully bypassed the running sparkling, pulling Thundercracker with him. As they stepped out onto their floor, his father looked back toward the other adult. "I could claim I am a better parent than you, but in truth Thundercracker has always been a good sparkling. Good luck with yours." The elevator doors slid shut, closing the somewhat shocked-looking mech inside._

_They continued down the hall until they reached a small lobby area. His father went to the desk explaining they had an appointment. In less than a breem, they sat in a small exam room waiting for the medic to arrive. Thundercracker sat on his father's lap, trying his best to be patient.  
_

_The exam room door finally whooshed open, and a tall medic walked inside, immediately going to the room's computer monitor and pulling up images and files on the screen. "So! We are gonna get you some wings today, hm?" said the medic._

"_Yes," replied Thundercracker. He felt his father gently squeeze him. _

_The medic looked back over at them. "Well, turns out you have a very special spark. It means your options for upgrading will be top of the line." The medic pulled up a series of outlined images for what Thundercracker might look like once he had undergone all the upgrades into his adulthood. "What do you think, Dad? These are all fast fliers."_

"_What's the best for his type of spark?" his father asked._

"_Hm. I would go with either this one here, a sleek model, much like yours, or else this one here." The medic pointed to a larger shaped one that said 'Seeker/Jet' underneath. _

"_That second one, isn't that the model most of the top fliers graduating the Academy are now-a-days?" _

"_Sure is. It's meant for power as well as agility." The medic turned his optics to Thundercracker. "Which one do you like?" _

_Thundercracker let his optics dart between the two narrowed-down choices. The slender model looked more his father, but the larger one meant he might one day be strong enough to protect him. "That one!" he said as he pointed the 'Seeker/Jet' model. _

"_That sound good to you, Dad?" the medic asked._

"_Of course. Anything he wants." _

"_Got a color preference?" the medic asked as he started making notes in the datapad he held in his hand._

"_Blue! With a red stripe!" Thundercracker blurted out._

_Both the medic and his father laughed. "You want to be all the same colors as me?" his father asked._

_Thundercracker nodded. He didn't want to look anything like his cruel father if it could be helped. _

o o o o_  
_

"This is ridiculous. We are harboring an enemy combatant. Medbay is not where he belongs. He should be in the brig," spoke an unknown voice.

"I'm the CMO, and I say he stays right here. He poses no threat," Ratchet replied angrily.

"Prowl, I understand what you are getting at, but I agree with Ratchet. He is unarmed and not in any condition to do damage to the base or crew. You know if I felt otherwise he would not be here." Thundercracker recognized that third deep voice as Prime's.

He wasn't wanted here. He had been floating in and out of consciousness for several Earth days now. Memory file dumps were becoming a regular occurrence. The waking world and his long repressed memories were starting to bleed together into a strange type of patch worked reality. Every so often he would wake long enough to consume another ration, all the while feeling for his missing mate within his spark. He could sense him, but the bond remained closed.

Apparently, Skywarp didn't want him either.

_I want you. I will protect you. I promise_, he mentally said to the sparklet who had come to represent everything to him: his freedom from the war and proof of the love he had briefly been able to share with Skywarp.

"I find it hard to assess the situation when I lack the proper information. You both have referred him as having a 'condition' but refuse to share what that might be."

"We all signed a confidentiality contract, Prowl," Ratchet replied.

"At least let me post a guard with you."

"Ratchet? How about one at the doors, just in case," Prime said. He was so different than Megatron. Looking for a solution instead of yelling at everyone to just do as they were told.

"Fine. Anyone other than Ironhide, Sideswipe or Sunstreaker." He could hear how vehemently opposed Ratchet was to those three names.

"How about Jazz, Bluestreak and myself in rotating shifts?" the one he surmised was Prowl offered.

"Jazz, Bluestreak, and _Smokescreen_. You already don't recharge enough, last thing I need is for you to collapse thanks to taking an extra shift." The anger seemed to leave Ratchet's tone as it morphed into more of a tease.

"Highly unlikely, but I accept Smokescreen as a suitable substitute."

"Are we agreed then?" Prime asked.

"Yes." They replied in unison.

Autobots sure were strange.

The doors to medbay opened and closed. He offlined his optics to give into the never-ending exhaustion that now racked his frame. He hadn't flown in days, basically a prisoner of the Autobots by his own choosing. Normally, being grounded this long would start to get to him, but he was literally too tired to even _want _to fly. All he truly wanted was Skywarp. He missed him so much. If only he could have explained. He had replayed their final exchange time and time again trying to understand what had gone so terribly wrong. The answer lay with Skywarp, though. If only he would open his side of the bond again so they could talk...

The curtain made a rustled sound, and Thundercracker lit his optics to watch the medic carefully deposit more of the special energon at his berthside.

Ratchet glanced up and their gazes met. "You're online, huh?"

"You certainly like stating the obvious," Thundercracker replied.

"I actually wanted to speak with you. I know you've been pretty out of it, but at some point you mumbled at me that you were keeping the sparkling. Is that still true?" Ratchet asked as he held out a ration.

"Yes." Thundercracker took the offered cube.

"And your bondmate knows?"

A sharp pain pushed through Thundercracker's spark at the question, which in turn caused the sparklet to quiver. "He knows."

Ratchet sighed air from his intakes in a soft sigh. "Can't wait to tell Prowl there'll be two of you here."

"He's not coming." Thundercracker shifted his gaze away not wanting to see the pity in the medic's optics.

"Oh." A thick silence fell. Ratchet walked over the monitor and poked the screen, checking various readings regarding Thundercracker's condition. "Things look good. Since you are planning on keeping it, we need to discuss building a protoform," Ratchet said as he glanced over at Thundercracker. "I would like to extend the confidentiality contract to Wheeljack. He has a lot of experience building sparkling protoforms."

"The funny looking Autobot with the glowing headfins?" Thundercracker asked.

A frown curved Ratchet's lips downward.

"He's your bondmate, isn't he?" Thundercracker didn't intend to offend the medic, but that was the best description he could come up with.

"Yes, but that's not relevant." Ratchet crossed his arms over his chest. "Anyway. Would you be willing to extend the confidentiality to him?"

Thundercracker nodded. "Sure."

Ratchet pulled a datapad from subspace and held it out. Thundercracker lazily pressed his thumb to its surface, leaving his electronic signature without even looking at the amendment. "You don't want to read it? I could have put in a clause that you are now my servant."

"I'm tired. And you wouldn't do that." Thundercracker sighed air from his intakes and dimmed his optics. He thought the contract was ridiculous anyway. Decepticons would never bother with such a procedure, and he really didn't put much credence in it, only going along with it since it seemed important to the Autobots.

"How can you be so certain I wouldn't?" Ratchet asked.

"Because you're an Autobot." Thundercracker replied with a small smile. His body had been online for only a breem and now it was already barely able to keep himself online. This was a terrible phase. Worse than purging his tank, even. "Can I get some peace now?"

"Sure." Ratchet quietly stepped to the other side of the curtain, disappearing from sight.

Too tired to even think, he flicked off his optics for yet another round of recharge and memory dump.

o o o o

_"Stop it!" Thundercracker yelled as he shoved his fathers apart. He moved in front of the loving one, taking up a defensive posture. _

_"You little glitch. How dare you stand up for him! He's a slagging whore, handing it out to anyone that looks his way!" His cruel father's optics shifted to settle on the father he now stood protecting in the entryway of their home. "I can't believe I bonded to you. You disgusting little–" _

_"That's enough!" Thundercracker's fist flew the air hitting his father square in the jaw. _

_His father stumbled backward, holding the side of his face with one hand. His ruby red optics flared with anger, burning with unrepentant hatred for the family he had helped create. After a moment, he started to laugh. "Is this what you wanted, my dearest? Offspring that would be your personal guard? Or perhaps you wanted him because he would love you no matter what? Especially since no one else does!" _

_"Shut up! You're the one no one loves!" Thundercracker yelled. _

_His cruel father smiled wickedly at him. "I suppose that's true." _

_Arms wrapped around Thundercracker from behind, and he felt his caring father trembling against his back. The father that loved and looked after him wasn't a large mech and over the stellar cycles, as the fighting between his fathers had escalated, he had fought back less and less. Protecting him now was the least Thundercracker could do in return for raising him. _

_Straightening his posture, his cruel father rubbed at his dented faceplate. "Love was never a part of the equation for this bonding. It was all about getting yourself out of that pleasure club in the slum, wasn't it dearest? I did it because of how spectacularly you performed in the berth. If I had known you'd hold out on me after this unwanted sparkling came, I would have never–" _

_Thundercracker couldn't take another moment of it. Unlike when he was younger, he now stood the same height as this abomination of a mech that was his father. He had only just started at the local Academy, but he had enough combat training to know he could take his father in a fight. Heated anger pumped through his fuel lines as his vision narrowed. Breaking his loving father's hold on him, he leapt forward and landed a sharp punch to the side of his other father's helm. In an instant, his cruel father was knocked offline and dropped to the floor. _

_"Thundercracker..." whispered his caring father from behind him. _

_Thundercracker turned around to lock optics with him. "I'll protect you, always." _

_His father closed the space between them and hugged himself to Thundercracker, who wrapped his larger arms around him and hugged back. Nothing said would ever change how he felt about his father. He loved him. _

_"I guess we should alert a medic," his father said quietly. _

_"Yeah. I suppose so." _

o o o o_  
_

"I did quite a bit of research on your model and fliers in general. Here's what I found in the archives, or what I could gain access to, anyway." Wheeljack stood at the monitor, opening various files. Thundercracker could see he was nervous by his body language. The engineer wouldn't face him directly and avoided optic contact. "I was a little surprised to find out fliers don't have wings for the first three stages, but it'll make building the protoform much simpler."

Thundercracker remained silent. His cycles of utter exhaustion had finally started to shorten, which meant more time awake to ache for Skywarp. He only half listened to the off-white Autobot as he kept internally pushing at the closed bond.

"So I guess the main things to decide are colors and any programming you want included. I downloaded the standard types of programming for sparklings like basic speech, dexterity control, rationale sequences for processing, that type of thing. Was there anything else you wanted? Like, should any flying protocols be installed now?" Wheeljack looked away from the monitor and over at Thundercracker.

"No. I don't think so. Protocols for flying are installed when a sparkling gets its wings." Thundercracker still vividly remembered testing out his new programming after his upgrade with wings. His father told him to wait until his first flying class, but he had been far too excited to bother waiting and gone out behind their home to see how it worked. He managed to lift off the ground a meter or so before inevitably falling down and denting himself. Ignoring the pain of his fall, he had jumped back to his feet to try again and again until his father caught him and brought him back inside.

"You want me to include your type of speech pattern? I noticed you have a touch of a elite accent." Wheeljack's headfins dimmed after speaking.

He had no idea that speech patterns were a choice. He wondered which father given him the elite accent, probably the one that cared for him. He wanted his sparkling to have the same normal modes and pronunciations his father and Skywarp had, though. "No, no accent."

"Okay. Then colors? Remember, other than additions, these will be the set colors for the sparkling for its life." Wheeljack turned his attention back to the screen, pulling up a palette of colors.

He stared at the choices. The color his optics locked on his mate's accent color, purple. This choice was hard. While he wanted to honor his father in some way, he also knew that he very much wanted their sparkling to look like Skywarp. If it turned out that Skywarp would not forgive him, at least their offspring would carry his unique coloring as a proud reminder of the only mech Thundercracker knew he would ever love. "Purple with black accents."

"Uh, like your scheme? But purple instead of blue?" asked Wheeljack as he started to make notes in a datapad he had set down at the foot of the medbay berth.

"Yes." He glanced at the screen and the general protoform Wheeljack had displayed. There was an area on the arms that look like a good spot to add a color that would honor his father's red striped wings. "Red stripes on his upper arms."

"Sure!" Wheeljack replied, obviously excited to get working on the project now that it seemed to be coming together. "Let's load the model up, and you can take a good look and make sure it's how you want it."

The Autobot's nervousness finally seemed to leave him as he happily typed commands into a window on the monitor. After a klik, an image loaded of a colorized sparkling, spinning slowly in the false 3-D space. Thundercracker's spark thrummed excitedly in his chest as he stared at the image of what would soon be online and in his care. His optics brightened with surprise as the sparklet started to quiver inside his spark's chamber. Apparently his joy could affect it just as much his pain.

"So…is it how you want?" Wheeljack asked tentatively.

"Yes. It's perfect."

"Great! I will get to work on it right away then."

Thundercracker watched the engineer load files from the computer console into his datapad, then give a small wave as he pushed the curtain aside for a moment to step out of the cordoned-off area. The curtain quietly floated back in place, leaving him alone again.

He relaxed back against the berth and turned his head to look at the image file Wheeljack had obviously left up for him to look at. _That'll be yours_, he mentally said to the sparklet. _I hope you'll like it._

Sadness crept through him as he tried again to reach his mate through their bond. No response. Thundercracker didn't understand why Skywarp had shut him out so completely. He knew his decision to keep the sparkling was extreme and would cause a huge upheaval in their lives, but he _also_ knew deep in his spark that he was willing to fight with every fiber of his being for a new life. He was so tired of feeling like a sparkless drone in Megatron's army. Bonding to Skywarp and being sparked had made him feel more alive than he had in vorns. What he wanted now was much grander than simply surviving within the Decepticon ranks. He had assumed Skywarp would follow his lead, not cut him off without a chance to explain. It was an understandable fear of such an extreme change, but even so, this sparkling belonged to both of them, was _created_ by both of them. How could Skywarp so easily abandon it?

_Abandonment_…

Suddenly, he remembered the very last emotion he felt from Skywarp, before the bond closed, had been a sense of abandonment. Realization bloomed across his processor as he imagined what his words might have felt like from Skywarp's perspective. "That aft must think I chose the sparkling over him." He couldn't be sure that was the exact motivation, but he could see how Skywarp might have come to that conclusion and then pulled away.

Thundercracker pressed a hand over his cockpit. _Don't worry. If that's the case,_ _I won't let him get away that easily, _he told the sparklet. He stared at the image of the protoform on the monitor. _I'll do everything in my power to create a real family for __**all of us**__. _

* * *

_A/N- Part one of a two chapter update today, crazy! Thanks for all the reviews and feedback, I really do appreciate it. Please be sure to keep reviewing and telling me why you like the story, and if you have helpful things to add, please do. Thank you!!  
_


	5. Believe

Title: Regardless – Believe

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M

Warnings: Funeral for TC's father

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker accidentally gets himself sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do?

Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119. _

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead. Although I think this passage from the Portishead song 'It's a Fire' works best for this chapter:

_"'Cause we need to  
Recognize mistakes  
For time and again  
So let it be known for what we believe in  
I can see no reason for it to fail..." _

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

Quietly sipping one of his special energon cubes, Thundercracker pondered his situation. A sea change had occurred. He had decided that he needed to knock some sense into his bondmate and pull this budding family back into one unit. But first he needed to be able to communicate with Skywarp, explain things clearly. How do that, though? The bond was closed, and he was too far away to use a comm. link channel.

Finishing off the cube, he dispersed it, then moved to sit on the edge of his berth with his legs hanging off and hands gripping at its edge.

He and Skywarp had set up a private comm. line as soon as they awoke on Earth to complain about Starscream to one another without his knowing. A secure transmission wasn't an issue, it was getting within range for it work that would be tricky. He knew Soundwave monitored all energy signals within approximately an 85-mile radius around where the _Nemesis_ sat sunk in the depths of the ocean. What he didn't know was just how far out their Gerry-rigged comm. link frequency could reach. All he could do was get as close as possible while staying outside Soundwave's monitoring zone and hope it was powerful enough to reach Skywarp.

The curtain blocking his area off from the rest of medbay briefly rustled. He looked over, expecting to see Ratchet but instead laid optics on a small sparkling. The sparkling covered his mouth with a finger and shook his head, indicating he wanted Thundercracker to be quiet. He sat frozen with shock, staring at him. The little sparkling had a black helm with two little audial horns jutting upward, his body was pale blue in color with white accents, and his hands were also black. The sparkling furrowed his brow and repeated his action with the finger against his lips. Thundercracker realized he wanted assurance that he understood the need for quiet and nodded while mirroring the action with a finger over his own lips. The sparkling then grinned at him and fearlessly wandered closer.

In complete silence, they exchanged curious looks at one another. Then, the sparkling lifted his arms up and out expectantly. Thundercracker canted his head at him trying to understand the gesture. The sparkling got on his tip toes while continuing to stick his arms out in the air.

"You want me to pick you up?" Thundercracker asked in a whisper.

The sparkling's optics brightened as he once again signaled to be quiet, before then lifting his arms up yet again. That didn't exactly answer his question, but he figured that had to be the only meaning behind the insistent gesture. He reached down, picked him up, and set him on his lap. The sparkling settled in and started to explore the various shapes of his chest with both his optics as well as his tiny fingers. He had no idea the Autobots already had a sparkling in their midst, though it made sense that it was a secret. He could see Megatron exploiting such knowledge in some twisted way. The sparkling finally looked up at him and grinned, after his careful examination. Suddenly he lifted a finger to his own optic while pointing at Thundercracker's face.

"Different," said the sparkling in a whisper.

Thundercracker couldn't help smiling as he nodded.

"Yours are pretty," the sparkling said, again in a whisper.

"Thank you. So are yours," Thundercracker replied, keeping his voice as quiet as he could.

This sparkling had no fear of him. No judgment based what he looked like. This sparkling knew nothing of the war raging around his home here on the base. He was faction-less. Thundercracker envied that innocence. He also wanted his sparkling to be the same way: free of fear.

"Hey, Ratch? You seen Miles?"

The sparkling spun his head around to stare at the curtain that hid them from the rest of medbay.

"No. Jazz, you really should confine the play area to the rec room," Ratchet replied.

The sparkling turned back to look up at Thundercracker with a huge smile. "I'm Miles," he whispered as cupped his mouth on either side.

"I thought I saw him come down this hallway, though."

"I would have noticed Jazz. And if Mirage finds out you lost him on the base ag–"

"Nah. I can use the locator if I really did lose him. We were playing hide and seek. He'll say I cheated if I use it, though."

Miles repressed a giggle and pressed his face into Thundercracker's chest. He placed his much larger hand against the sparkling's back, which magnified just how small he was. He could feel the thrum of tiny systems just under the thinner plating. It hit him, then: in just few more Earth weeks he would be holding his very own sparkling. A ripple of excitement mixed with uncertainty within his spark.

"Hrm, guess I'll see if he wandered into Perceptor's lab. Catch ya later, Ratch."

The sparkling sat back and looked back up at Thundercracker. "What's your name?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"Thundercracker."

Miles looked to the side at one of Thundercracker's wings. "What's that for?" he asked while pointing.

"Flying." He replied as he smiled, enjoying the curious nature of his visitor.

"Oooo. Like Skyfire!" Miles replied in whispered awe.

"Faster than that shuttle. But yes." Thundercracker slid off the berth while holding Miles to his chest. "As nice as it's been to meet you, I believe I should return you." He pushed the curtain aside with one hand while holding the sparkling firmly against his chest. "Excuse me, Ratchet."

Ratchet glanced up from his workbench, and his optics grew wide. "Miles!" He then shifted his gaze to Thundercracker as he rushed over. "Please don't tell anyone you saw him."

"I won't." Thundercracker replied with a frown.

"How did you get in here without me seeing you?" Ratchet asked as he plucked the sparkling out of Thundercracker's grasp.

"Miles sneaks like daddy!" the sparkling replied, before giggling.

Ratchet frowned deeply at the sparkling in his arms. "Medbay is not a place to play."

"Sorry," replied the sparkling, looking at him with wide optics.

"Let's find Jazz, hm?" Ratchet looked back up at Thundercracker with a sheepish smile. "Sorry if he bothered you."

"Not at all." Thundercracker replied. Ratchet turned and started to cross medbay.

"Bye!" Miles called out to Thundercracker as he was carted toward the entryway.

Thundercracker waved, then ducked back behind the curtain cordoning off his area. He walked over to sit on the berth and pressed a hand to his chest. _I can't wait to meet you, _he mentally told the sparklet.

o o o o

_Thundercracker stared at his father's face through an oval opening in a coffin perfectly sized to his slender frame. His wings were removed, as per tradition, and attached with one crossed over the other on top of the coffin. The medic that prepared his body had made sure to erase the look of agony that contorted his facial features when he had died. At the moment, he looked serene and beautiful. The more horrible image was still unfortunately seared deep into Thundercracker's mind, since he had been the one to find him._

_The ceremony for bidding farewell to the dead was a short affair. A few words were spoken by the captain of the small vessel that had been piloted out into a neutral zone of space quite some distance from Cybertron. _

"_Is there anything you would like to add?" the ship's captain asked after he finished his required speech. _

_Thundercracker shook his head. "No."_

"_Are you ready then?" asked the captain._

_He ran his hand over the smooth wing that lay on top. "Goodbye, father." He then looked up at the captain and nodded. A small opening near the head of the container opened. The rush of coolness pushed into the room as the container was jettisoned from the ship. In an instant, his father's body was gone._

_The captain guided Thundercracker back towards the entry point for the private area. The door whooshed open and Thundercracker walked back into a waiting area where several other mechs and femmes were gathered. Some were crying; others were sitting with his faces in their hands. All were there to do the same thing Thundercracker had: to say their final goodbyes to loved ones that had died due to the war that now ravaged their world. _

_He exited the waiting area and headed toward the small room that been assigned to him for the trip. They would return by the next orn, but until then he wanted to be alone. Inside the small room, he proceeded to the port window at the far end and stared out at the vastness of space that stretched beyond the reinforced clear pane. _

I failed him._ That was his one all consuming thought. He promised to protect, and he had failed. He wondered if there was anything he could have done to save him. With the start of the war, Starscream had dragged their trine to meet with Megatron, and he had been far away when he heard the news that the Council had tried to move into Vos and ground the fliers by removing flying protocols from their processors. By the time their trine returned, the Council-sanctioned medics had all been either killed or driven back out of the city. If only he had gotten home sooner..._

_'If only's would change nothing now, though. _

Father, I will always remember and love you.

o o o o

Thundercracker had started to grow restless. The recharge cycles had shortened, but the memory file dumps had gotten more painful. His last round reminded him, again, that he needed to be strong and not let Skywarp slip away from him. Protect what was precious to him.

After spending a considerable amount of time looking at his options, it was clear that even though he could easily escape the Autobot base if he chose, he still needed their help as far the sparkling was concerned. He needed to somehow use the Autobots natural urge to help to his advantage so he could leave and come back with Skywarp, assuming he could change his mate's mind on the matter. _I have to, _he thought.

He sat quietly on the edge of the medbay berth that had been his home for the last few weeks, waiting impatiently.

The curtain pulled back revealing the Autobot leader, Prime. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes." Thundercracker pushed to stand. "I want your permission to leave for a personal mission of sorts."

Prime's optics dimmed slightly. "I can't allow you to leave. You know that. You have been here too long, and for all I know you have collected intelligence that will be used against us."

Thundercracker expected that to be answer. He was ready for it, though. "I'm a flier. I need to be airborne to keep my processor sane. I may not be in your brig, but I am certainly still locked up here on your base. You said it was sanctuary you wanted to offer me if I chose this particular path. Is your definition of sanctuary the same as prison?"

A soft sigh escaped Prime's intakes. "If your mission is to simply fly, then I am willing to send you out with Skyfire as an escort."

Thundercracker frowned. He had been afraid that might be the stipulation. "There is something else I need to do." He hesitated, not wanting to share more than he had to. "I need my bondmate here. I would like to retrieve him."

The Autobot leader's optics brightened. "If that means returning to the enemy base, then I cannot allow it."

"I can't fragging return. I'd be locked up and beaten within a micrometer of my life," Thundercracker scoffed. "No. I need to go to the edge of the zone Soundwave monitors to use a private comm. line to talk to him."

"Being bonded, you should be able to talk through your sparks," Prime replied, looking dubious.

Thundercracker furrowed his brow and clenched his fists. He didn't want to admit to the argument that had separated them, but it seemed he didn't have a choice. "He's not responding to me."

Prime shook his head. "You want me to allow you close to the enemy base to try and resolve a fight between you? Then, if you manage to do that, allow yet another enemy combatant on base here? You realize how that sounds?"

"I do." Thundercracker dropped his gaze to the floor. "I need him. And at this point I no longer consider myself a Decepticon."

A soft sound of resignation came in the form of an 'hm' emitted from Prime's vocalizer. Thundercracker hoped he managed to appeal the overly optimistic side of the Autobot leader by admitting to his own personal weakness when it came to Skywarp. He looked back up at Prime, hoping for approval.

"I don't know. I am still concerned for my troops here," Prime said.

"After this sparkling comes, I plan on leaving with my family. You and your troops can continue to fight this pointless war. But I need to pull my bondmate free. Unless you grant me some measure of freedom, how could I ever convince him to come here with me?" Thundercracker said, his desperation bleeding into his voice.

Prime's optics softened their glow. "All right. But I still want Skyfire as your escort."

That was a small price to pay. He could work within that parameter if that was what it took. "Thank you."

o o o o

"_Let me out!" Skywarp yelled._

_His adoptive sibling simply laughed. "Why should I?"_

_Skywarp pounded on the door of the hallway cabinet he had been shoved into. "When I get out, I'm gonna pound the slag out of you!"_

"_Then I'll lock you in there forever. My creators will never even miss you," his adopted brother taunted. "No one wants you here."_

"_That's not true!" Skywarp yelled. Although, in his spark, he did feel unwanted. He would never admit that his mean step-sibling._

"_It is! And you're ugly on top of it! Your creators must have been the stupidest mechs ever to make you black and purple." _

_Skywarp glanced at his hands pressing against the closed door of the cabinet. Even in the dark space he could make out the purple hue that ran from his forearms and fingertips. _

"_Ugly! Stupid! And a pity case my father took because the city council made him!" His sibling started laughing. Soon his voice faded as he left Skywarp locked in a storage cabinet in the hallway of his adopted family's home. _

_He sank down into a crouched position in the darkness. His arms wrapped around his legs, and he pressed his forehead to his knees. In his imprisoned space, he started to softly cry. He hated it here. No matter what he said to his adopted creators, they never believed their own sparkling would do the things Skywarp said he had. He was perfect in their optics, while Skywarp was, in fact, a charity case. He looked nothing like them with their brilliant shades of light orange and white._

_Eventually he curled up in a ball on the floor of the mostly empty cabinet, abandoned there by his sibling and ignored by his adopted parents. No rescue came. He nodded off into a recharge for a while. _

_When he awoke in the dark cabinet, his sadness and frustration morphed into anger. He got up and started to riffle around the darkened space, looking for something to use to free himself. His hands grasped a hold of something. Feeling it with his hands, he determined that it was a tool of some sort. He got up and pounded it against the edge where the door met the frame. He whacked at it with all his strength, denting it enough to allow light to pour through an opening. Encouraged, he continued to swing the tool with all his force, imagining it was his adoptive brother he was beating on. The metal door creaked as it finally popped open. Skywarp crawled out into the hallway. Turning, he came face to face with one of his adoptive creators and his brother. _

"_Skywarp! What have you done?" his adoptive father yelled. _

"_Sunstorm locked me in the cabinet and I was__–__"_

"_No I didn't!" Sunstorm interrupted._

"_Go to your room! NOW!" his adopted father yelled._

_Skywarp dropped the tool and turned around in a huff, running to his small room. Once inside he closed the door and started to cry all over again. He fell to knees and sobbed. No one wanted him. No one..._

o o o o_  
_

"Fraggit!" Starscream snapped. "Where is he?"

Skywarp stood leaned up against the back wall of the control room, watching his trineleader scan maps and transmissions, looking for Thundercracker. He remained silent on the subject. No matter how hurt he was by being abandoned by the one mech he had thought would stay with him, he couldn't bring himself to hate him. It was strange to feel so deeply hurt and yet still so in love with his mate.

"He hasn't contacted you?" Starscream asked for about the millionth time.

"Nope." Skywarp had made sure of that by closing off the bond. His spark ached a little each time he thought about him. He did his best to ignore the sensation.

He should have known better. Everyone in his life had always abandoned him in the end. Now that Thundercracker would have a sparkling to love, what would he want Skywarp for? With Thundercracker's looks, he would have his pick of the Autobots. Skywarp's processor then betrayed him, forcing an image of that fragging medic and his mate together. He repressed a whine at the unwanted image.

An internal ping for his comm. link echoed in his processor. His optics brightened slightly when he realized it was the private channel he and Thundercracker used to use before bonding.

:: TC? :: he responded.

:: Warp. :: Skywarp's spark surged in response. Thundercracker's tone was stern.

He glanced up at Starscream still making irritated sounds as he stared at transmission logs. Good thing their channel was off Soundwave's network.

:: What do you want? :: Skywarp asked.

:: I need to talk to you, please. :: Thundercracker replied, his voice softening.

An internal battle raged, to give into his spark's desire to see his bondmate or to stay away from him in hopes of avoiding the inevitable pain he knew he'd suffer by talking to him.

:: Warp... _please_. ::

:: Fine, ping your location.:: Skywarp replied, his fuel lines burning with anger and fear while his spark's pulse picked up with excitement. He felt like he might be ripped into two from the conflicting sensations. The location that came back was about 100 miles out from the base. :: Be there in a little while. :: he replied as he closed out the transmission.

He pushed away from the wall, trying his best to look calm. "I am bored as slag watching you. Can I go already?"

Starscream swiveled in his seat. "Fine. Go," he replied waving his hand in the air in a dismissive gesture.

Skywarp left the control room and made his way the lift. He hopped inside and used a false access code to initiate the ascent. Within the confined space, he paced back and forth. What could Thundercracker possibly want? Did he get rid of the sparkling, maybe? Then things could back the way they were...or maybe not. He realized at the very least Thundercracker would be reprimanded and locked in the brig for desertion. It made Skywarp question why Starscream was being so persistent in finding him.

The lift came to a stop, and the door opened. Skywarp stepped out and used his warp gate to get beyond the cameras that were trained on the platform. That way Soundwave wouldn't know which direction he left in.

He reappeared over the open ocean, high up in the night sky after passing through his warp gate, and transformed to take off toward Thundercracker's location. His spark was now racing with anticipation as he streaked through the darkness. The stars and moon above were the only light this far out over the ocean. They offered a pure-looking white tinge of light that reflected off the ocean waves below.

It took less time than he expected to close the 100 mile gap as his top speed. He saw the floating form of his mate in the near distance. The moon's light reflected off his blue form, making him look as if he were glowing. Primus, he was beautiful...

Skywarp transformed and came to a floating stop several meters away from his mate.

Thundercracker smiled sadly at him. "Why did you cut me off?"

"Why did you abandon me, fragger?" Skywarp spat back.

"I thought that might be the conclusion you came to. If you had let me explain─"

"Explain what? You chose that fragging thing over me. What else is there to 'explain'?" Anger at Thundercracker and his choice raged through his entire being, causing him to tremble.

Thundercracker's optics brightened. "Warp. How could you think that? What you didn't allow me to say was that I want to give you something you've never had before, _a family._"

Skywarp furrowed his brow at Thundercracker. "No family ever wanted me! What makes you think _I_ would want one?"

"_This_ family wants you, Warp." Thundercracker pressed a hand to his chest. "_I'm_ your family. _I_ want you... no, I _need_ you."

Skywarp's spark surged and then contracted painfully in response to his mate's words. His anger melded into confusion and fear. Being told he was needed didn't make sense to him. Skywarp always felt like the expendable one of their trine. Thundercracker had saved him from dying on the battlefield countless times, sure, but he knew that the care his mate had previously showered on him would shift to the sparkling. And in the end, he would be abandoned all over again. "No..." said Skywarp as he shook his head.

"No?" Thundercracker repeated back as a question.

"I'll just be replaced. You'll stop caring about me...You'll abandon me." Skywarp spun around, intending to fly away from the painful sight of his mate. As he started to take off, he was caught from behind by his mate's arms that wrapped around him. He struggled against the warmth of Thundercracker's frame. "Let me go, fragger!"

"No! Stop being such an aft," Thundercracker replied as he squeezed Skywarp in his grip. "I lost one mech I was supposed to protect, I am not losing you, too!"

Skywarp continued to struggle. "You'll stop loving me!"

"I won't ever stop loving you," Thundercracker replied as he pressed his face against Skywarp's helm.

"You will! You already left me!" Skywarp kept trying to free himself from Thundercracker's grip as coolant pooled in his optics.

"I came here to get you!" Thundercracker replied vehemently.

"You'll replace me with it," Skywarp whimpered as he felt himself start to openly cry.

"Never." Thundercracker held him firmly. "This is your sparkling, too."

"You'll love it more than me," Skywarp said as he sobbed.

"I'll love you equally. I will take care of both of you. I will protect both of you."

Skywarp trembled as he tried to stop himself from crying. His purple hands weakly pushed against his mate's arms that were wrapped tightly around him. "After yelling at me, making me leave, and then not coming back, I'm supposed to believe you?"

"I'm sorry I hurt you. Open your spark to me, please."

Hesitating, Skywarp considered the ramifications. It hurt now just hearing Thundercracker's voice, being touched by him, knowing it was all going to be taken away from him again. Should he really openly expose his spark to this pain, too?

"Open your side of the bond, _please!_" Thundercracker's voice cracked and whined with need. The same way he sounded when he'd ask to spark merge at the height of interfacing.

Skywarp gave in. He couldn't resist anymore. He missed his mate too much and longed to feel him again, even if it was going to be painful. His side of the bond opened, and he was instantly inundated with a flood of emotions: love, need, desire, all hit him like a punch to the gut. Skywarp let his fears and pain push outward from his spark as more sobs shook his frame.

'Warp, I love you. What happened to the trust?' Thundercracker asked over their reopened bond.

'You broke it by not coming back!' Skywarp admitted.

'I'm here now. I'm not letting go of you ever again.'

A wave of love pushed into his spark again, unrelenting and all consuming. Skywarp finally stopped fighting the hold he was in and wilted against his mate's frame as he let it fill him. 'Promise?'

'I promise.'

Skywarp then twisted his head to look at his mate. Their optics locked in an unwavering gaze. 'I'm scared to leave.'

A hint of a smile crossed Thundercracker's lips. 'That's understandable. But I will be with you.'

Skywarp turned around in his mate's grip, and they shifted to hug one another tightly. Their bodies pressed flush as they wound their limbs around each other.

Skywarp sent his own love back over the bond. 'I love you, TC.'

'I love you, too, Warp.'

For several long, wonderful moments, they floated, tightly bound together in the night sky. Skywarp calmed as he was reassured with a seemingly never-ending stream of love that poured into his spark. He made sure to respond in kind with his own deep love for his bondmate pushing back over their bond.

The reality of what he was about to do started to sink in. "I don't want to be an slagging Autobot, TC."

"Me, neither," Thundercracker replied. "I am just there so the sparklet gets what it needs."

"Then what?"

Thundercracker leaned his head back to smile at him. "Then we get the frag off this dirtball."

"And go where?" Skywarp asked.

"We'll figure it out." Thundercracker lightly brushed his lips over Skywarp's in a tentative motion.

Skywarp grinned against them. He pushed forward to lock their lips together briefly before their glossae each flicked out to meet and wrestle between. Their mouths molded around their entwined glossae as they each delved into the opposing spaces. The deep kiss was cut short though, as his mate's glossa suddenly retreated just before he felt Thundercracker grow heavy in his grip. He pulled back to noticed his mate's optics were dimly lit.

"TC?"

"Fragging phase two..." he murmured in response before his optics flicked off and his frame went slack in Skywarp's arms. They started to fall out of their floating position. Skywarp doubled his thrusters power to keep them airborne as he held fast to Thundercracker's offlined frame. For a moment he felt panicked, frightened Thundercracker was in distress, but then realized he could still feel systems thrumming through his plating. It seemed Thundercracker had fallen into recharge in just a few astro-seconds. He looked at the peaceful expression on his mate's face, then glanced out over the dark churning ocean. Now what should he do?

Skywarp suddenly heard the roar of an engine. As his head swiveled around, he saw Skyfire in the distance, approaching in his shuttle mode.

"Need a lift back?" Skyfire asked, as he got close.

Skyfire was a traitor. Skywarp's face contorted to give him a dirty look.

"Come on now. No way you're gonna heave him all the way back." Skyfire commented as his cargo hold opened.

Skywarp glanced at Thundercracker's limp form. "_Fine._"

He proceeded to board the shuttle and pulled his mate in with him. The door to the hold shut them safely inside. Skywarp leaned against an inner sidewall, tugging Thundercracker's limp form over top of him. He gazed down at his bondmate's offlined face and lightly ran his fingers down his cheek. While Skywarp was thrilled to be with him again, he couldn't deny he was also very worried that Thundercracker's new found optimism might prove to be the death of them. Still, Skywarp knew he would rather die with Thundercracker than live without him. _I am putting my trust in you; don't let me down, TC…_

* * *

_A/N- Part two of a two chapter update today! Thanks for all the reviews and feedback, I really do appreciate it. Please be sure to keep reviewing and telling me why you like the story, and if you have helpful things to add, please do. And I would love to have separate reviews for each of the two chapters for this double update. Thank you!!__  
_


	6. Tension Breaker

Title: Regardless – Tension Breaker

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (interfacing)

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker winds up accidentally sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that he might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119._

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead, although I think this bit from "Deep" by Nine Inch Nails is pretty fitting:

_"You know somehow  
We could take a chance  
We could make it (make it)  
Right here  
Make it all disappear  
Everything we've been missing (missing)  
You make me feel  
here's a part of me, that I want to get back again."_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

Three Earth days in and Thundercracker could feel the building tension across their bond due to their current living conditions on the Autobot base. He didn't want Skywarp to resent him, but he needed his mate here with him. Missing Skywarp had been painful, which had also been affecting the sparklet. More than that, it had felt like an urgent need within his spark to have his mate at his side. A desire so strong he couldn't fight it. A desire that now fueled his fight for freedom from the bonds of their faction. However, in his struggle to be free he had somehow gotten them locked up. Trapped in the hands of the opposing faction.

They had been given a set of quarters to occupy. Despite the amenities, Thundercracker knew this was still a prison of sorts. An elegant prison cell with its large screen monitor, oversized berth, small couch, table stocked with both his special grade energon as well as regular for Skywarp, and even some sort of adapted video game console that Skywarp made full use of. All the niceties didn't make up for the fact they were locked in this space, unable to fly or even roam at their free will. It seemed Thundercracker had spent what little capital he had gained when it came to the Autobot's trust by bringing yet another Decepticon to their base.

He lay quietly on the berth after waking from another recharge cycle, watching his mate as he played with the game console. His recharge cycles were much shorter now, although he could tell they weren't short enough for Skywarp. In their three days of being trapped in this room together they hadn't interfaced once, due mostly to the exhaustion that still wracked Thundercracker's frame. He could tell from the emotions that would flicker around the edges of their bond that his mate was not happy at all.

Suddenly, Skywarp tossed the controller to the floor violently, almost breaking it.

"Lose your game?" Thundercracker asked quietly.

His mate's crimson optics focused on him, burning brightly. "You're up!" Skywarp hopped off the small couch and crawled up onto the berth to lie down, pressing against Thundercracker's side. "I hate it here, TC."

Thundercracker gently ran his fingers down the grey stripe that adorned his lover's upper arm. "I'm sorry. I don't mean for this to be so hard on you."

"I know." Skywarp's face pressed into the crook of his neck. "I need to fly. Being grounded is the worst part."

That was a sentiment Thundercracker agreed with. His wings almost ached from not being used. "I'll see what I can do about that."

"I could warp us out of here," Skywarp offered.

As tempting as the offer was, Thundercracker knew that would not go over with their current hosts. "How about we do that as a last resort?"

"Fine." Skywarp's irritation briefly flitted across the bond. His mate lifted his head up and his optics glinted mischievously as a smile spread across his lips. "How about we 'face as a distraction?"

As much as Thundercracker wanted to please his mate, he was still fighting a general haze of exhaustion and the idea of exerting himself, even for pleasure, seemed far beyond what he felt up to handling at the moment. He reached out and cupped one side of his mate's face. "I'm too tired right now."

Skywarp's face twisted with annoyance as anger and frustration passed over the bond. He pushed Thundercracker's hand away and shifted to sit up. Moving to the edge of berth, Skywarp crossed his arms over his chest, as he pointedly didn't look back over at Thundercracker.

"Warp." Thundercracker sat up and moved to sit behind Skywarp, wrapping his arms around his mate's waist. "It's not that I don't want to."

"Yeah, right."

Leaning forward he pressed his forehead against the back of Skywarp's shoulders. "As soon as I hit phase three, it will be different."

"Oh?" The frustration pushing over their bond from Skywarp seemed to ebb slightly.

"Apparently the way to get the sparklet big enough for separation is by interfacing."

"You're making that up."

Thundercracker lifted his head back up as he laughed a little. "I'm serious. That is what the medic told me."

Skywarp twisted to look over his shoulder at Thundercracker. "Really?" Skywarp's posture slumped as he turned to face forward again. "Does that mean I _finally_ get to help you with it?"

Gently squeezing Skywarp, Thundercracker pressed himself against the warmth of his mate's frame. "Yes."

"Good. I'm sick of feeling useless." Skywarp's hands wrapped around Thundercracker's forearms that were tightly clinging to him and started to softly stroke along the paneling. "So...when does this new phase thing start?"

Thundercracker grinned. "Soon, I hope."

"I hope so, too."

o o o o

Medical check-ups were no longer made in medbay. Ratchet would arrive at the same time during the day to scan Thundercracker's spark and run general diagnostics. Each time accompanied by one Autobot sent with him as an armed guard. This afternoon's visit was no different than the last few. Skywarp always paced around while Ratchet made his checks. Normally his mate's inability to be still would disturb the guard assigned to Ratchet, but the Autobot on guard today didn't seem the least bit flustered by it. He had introduced himself as 'Jazz' when he entered their locked quarters. Jazz's unique voice immediately triggered Thundercracker's memory file from the game of hide and seek he had unwittingly taken part in, and he realized it was_ his _sparkling that he had met. The Autobot guard's demeanor appeared relaxed, but Thundercracker suspected that was simply a guise.

As per Ratchet's request, the confidentiality had been extended to the three assigned guards as well as the second in command, Prowl. Thundercracker didn't much care who in the Autobot army knew at this point. His desire to protect what he held precious was intense, and he doubted anyone could stand in his way if he chose to fight. While going over some of the files Ratchet downloaded for him regarding carrying and becoming a creator, he had read that those strong protective feelings were possibly a part of his parental programming having been triggered. He would do anything it took to make sure Skywarp and their sparkling were safe, so he felt thankful for the bit of programming that enhanced his natural tendency to protect.

"So. You excited?" Jazz asked Skywarp conversationally.

He watched his mate stop cold in his tracks and glare at Jazz. 'What is with this one, TC?'

'Not sure,' he silently replied.

"'Cause this is a big deal, ya know. Havin' a lil' one to look after." Jazz casually crossed his arms over his chest.

Skywarp crossed his arms over his chest, too. "And what do_ you_ know about it?"

Ratchet's optics brightened as he glanced up at Thundercracker from his scanner currently plugged into the base of his neck so he could run a diagnostic. "You didn't say anything to him, did you?" he whispered.

Thundercracker frowned at the medic. "No."

"Just curious if ya know what yer getting' into," Jazz replied coolly.

A ripple of anger pushed over their bond.

'Warp. Just ignore him.'

'How can I?' Skywarp's ability to control himself was rather low in general, but due to their confinement he was a fuse waiting to be lit. To Thundercracker's relief, Skywarp turned away from Jazz and landed on the couch in a huff.

Ratchet pulled the cord plugged into Thundercracker's neck free and stood back up staring at the readings on his hand-held scanner. The room grew uncomfortably quiet for a klik.

"Bet you were a little hellion, huh?" Jazz said while smiling at Skywarp, breaking the silence.

Skywarp flew off the couch and grabbed hold of Jazz's neck with both hands, smashing him against the wall. "Frag you! You know nothing about me!"

Thundercracker felt rage flood their connection and tried to quell it with a sense of calm. Both he and Ratchet rushed across the small space only to halt when the high-pitched whirring sound of a weapon being charged filled the air. Jazz had somehow twisted his arm around so his gun was aimed right at his mate's head.

"That's one short temper ya got there," Jazz said, still smiling despite the tight grip Skywarp had around his neck. "Now, why don't ya let me go? I don't wanna shoot ya if I don't have'ta."

No one would get away with threatening his mate, whether it was a slagging Autobot or Primus himself. Without thinking, Thundercracker rushed forward and wrapped his hands around Jazz's weapon, in an attempt to wrench it free. The smaller Autobot kicked at Skywarp, but his mate only pressed closer, pinning Jazz completely flat against the wall. With the guard immobile, Thundercracker managed to pry the black fingers off the weapon, seizing it away from him.

"Whoa!" Ratchet yelled, his voice booming over the melee. All three turned to look at him. He calmly walked over and held out his hand to Thundercracker. "Hand the gun over."

"Why should I?" Thundercracker snapped.

A strange, almost hurt look crossed the medic's face. "Because I asked you to."

Thundercracker's optics narrowed on Ratchet. Unlike the rest of the Autbots, he realized that he had grown to trust this one to a certain extent. He paused for a long drawn out moment, then reached out to place the weapon in Ratchet's hand but didn't let go. Their optics locked in an intense gaze. "We can't stay in here like prisoners. It is imperative that we get to fly. It'll_ greatly_ improve our moods as well as keep us sane."

Ratchet nodded once. "Prime is aware of that. I will see what I can do about getting the clearance to let you both out as soon as possible."

With that, Thundercracker let go of the gun. "Drop the guard, Warp."

Skywarp unwound his hands from Jazz's neck and stepped back, giving Jazz a dirty look. 'Sorry, TC. He just slagged me off.'

'I know.' Thundercracker sent a wave of his love and assurance over their bond in an attempt to help keep his mate calm.

"Ratch," Jazz said as he extended his hand out expectantly. "My gun?"

The medic's optics focused on Thundercracker for a moment, before they shifted to the guard. "No." He then slid the weapon into his own subspace pocket. "Let's go." Ratchet headed for the door and palmed the entry pad.

Jazz's smile disappeared and his visor had brightened with his apparent surprise at Ratchet's denial of returning the weapon. But his all too chipper-looking grin quickly returned as he followed the medic out the door. The black and white Autobot glanced over his shoulder and flashed that obnoxiously happy smile back at them. "See ya later!" The door whooshed closed.

"Did that medic just stand up for us?" Skywarp asked.

"Yeah. He did."

Thundercracker found some sense of comfort in the fact that Ratchet wasn't treating them like enemies. He wondered about the medic's motives. In the end, it really didn't matter, so long as he received the medical care he needed and protection for his soon to be family. Eventually he and Skywarp were going to have to escape this dirty organic planet with their offspring. But he felt too tired to work on scheming about that at the moment. He wandered over the berth and sat down. His posture slumped forward as a wave of exhaustion washed over him.

"Tired again?" Skywarp asked, concern lacing his voice.

"Yeah." Thundercracker rubbed his brow harshly, as if he could push the tiredness away.

A warm hand pressed against his shoulder. He glanced up to see a worried looking Skywarp staring back at him. "Let's lay down then."

He shifted to lie back on the nice oversized berth, and Skywarp lay down with him, pressing against his side. Once they settled in, Skywarp ran his purple fingers in small circles over Thundercracker's upper cockpit. "I hope you know what TC's putting up with for you. Being poked and prodded, feeling tired all the fraggin' time, and trying to make sure I don't kill anyone here," Skywarp said to the sparklet.

Unable to help it, Thundercracker smiled broadly at his mate. He playfully pushed down on Skywarp's helm. 'I love you, Warp.'

Skywarp turned his head and his optics flashed as he smiled back. 'I love you too, TC.'

o o o o

Being outside with the sun warming his plating felt better than Thundercracker expected. It had been several Earth weeks since he had been out in the daytime. Both he and Skywarp had their hands bound behind them with Optimus Prime, Prowl, Ratchet and Skyfire all standing in front of them.

"The cuffs are unnecessary," Ratchet grumbled at Prowl.

"It's a precautionary measure only," Prowl replied to the medic. "Once they have proven themselves on this initial flying excursion, I am sure we can refrain from using the stasis cuffs in the future."

Optimus Prime gave his officers a side-glance before stepping forward. His optics locked on Thundercracker's. Instinctively, Thundercracker's wings lifted higher on his back.

"You will be allowed to fly for 60 Earth minutes, you must remain within visual range of Skyfire during your trip, and do not go out further than a 50 mile radius from the base. Are the guidelines clear?" Prime asked as he placed his hands on his hips in a casual manner.

"Yes." Thundercracker replied with a grimace. He hated being talked down to, he realized. Whether it was Starscream, Megatron, or especially Prime. If his wings weren't aching so badly from lack of use, he might have considered a snide retort, but he held back, wanting to be airborne as soon as possible.

Prime looked over at Skywarp. "Do you also agree?"

"Yeah, yeah. You ground pounders don't need to get your exhaust pipes in a twist." Apparently his mate had no such reservations about making a derisive comment, and Thundercracker allowed a hint of a smile to cross his lips.

Shaking his head a little, Prime motioned for Prowl to come over. "Prowl, will you come around to undo the cuffs, please?"

The smaller black and white mech nodded once, then circled the pair and undid the cuffs for each of them.

Prime waved a hand in the air. "Then off you go."

Thundercracker didn't need to be told twice. He fired up his heel jets lifting up into the air and glanced over to see Skywarp looking at him with a huge grin.

'Race ya!' Skywarp silently taunted.

In an instant, Skywarp transformed and took off into the sky. Thundercracker followed suit, turning into his alt-mode and giving chase.

A private comm. line then blared at them. :: Hey, I'm not as fast as you two, don't forget to stay within visual range, okay? :: Skyfire chimed in.

'Ugh! I hate all their rules, TC!'

'Then let's make a game of it.' Thundercracker offered as he caught up to mate.

'How?'

'We stay within visual range, but go as fast as we can.' Thundercracker's engines loudly whirred as they pushed hard to reach top speed. He then made a tight turn, arcing back towards where the white shuttle glinted in the sky. Skywarp's feelings of irritation were quickly replaced with his usual playfulness as he matched Thundercracker's speed and agile maneuver. In unison they banked sharply and sped back toward Skyfire.

Flying with Skywarp wasn't like flying with anyone else, not even Starscream. Even before they bonded they seemed to understand how to move around in a unit. Their bond had only seemed to intensify that ability. They came up on Skyfire at top speed and their shared path diverged over and under the slower shuttle, only to reunite on the other side.

:: Whoa! Look out! :: Skyfire yelped over the comm. line.

:: We can handle ourselves, no need to worry. :: Thundercracker commented.

He felt Skywarp's amusement push over the bond.

For almost an entire Earth hour they played in the air. Free of worry. There was no air commander to yell at them, no raid they were supposed to be heading towards, just them and sky. Their paths curved around one another, while they cut through the air at high speeds. In three dimensions they danced in the air, pulling close and pushing away.

Thundercracker especially enjoyed the wind whipping over the sensitive dermal plating of his wings. His whole body, which had been nothing more than an aching, exhausted heap for several Earth weeks, currently felt revitalized. The crisp air pumped through his turbines, causing a tingling sensation to roll through all his internal systems. Flying had always felt good, but today it felt _incredible_.

:: Time's just about up. Let's head back, :: Skyfire said.

'Slag, I wanted to fly a little longer.' Even though it was a complaint, Skywarp's contentment also pushed across the bond. It was clear his mate's mood had lifted considerably from their jaunt in the air.

'Me, too.'

They lowered their altitude and followed Skyfire back towards the Autobot base. Thundercracker slowed and landed lightly on his pedes as he reached the ground. Skywarp did so as well, but in a louder thud beside him. He glanced over to see his mate grinning brightly at him. Skyfire also came back down from the air, and Prime and the others came over to greet them.

"You feel all right?" Ratchet asked as his optics locked on Thundercracker.

He canted his head at the medic, then nodded. "Yes."

"Well, you followed the guidelines. Thank you for respecting our wishes," Prime said, his voice sounding genuine in its praise.

Thundercracker suppressed the urge to sneer in response to the overly kind sentiment. "We are going to need time in the air to help cope with the lock down you have us under. Daily, if possible," he replied, his optics narrowing on the Autobot leader.

"Of course." Prime motioned for them all to head back inside.

Unlike their walk out of quarters, they were taken back without stasis cuffs. Prowl led the way down the confusing array of corridors, with Skywarp behind him. Thundercracker walked along behind his mate, and Ratchet followed at the back.

Warmth seemed to be dancing over Thundercracker's dermal plating. His wings were also still tingling from the flight. His optics slowly dragged over the athletic form of Skywarp's back, and a sensation of arousal fluttered through him. Had the flight been that stimulating? He couldn't seem to stop his gaze from tracing over the shapes of Skywarp's frame and a sudden strong urge to touch that beautiful form surged though him, which he literally had to fight to keep his twitching hands from responding to.

They arrived at the door to their specially assigned quarters, and Prowl palmed the entry pad. His unique energy signature unlocked the door, which whooshed open. Skywarp walked in first, and Thundercracker followed behind, praying to Primus Ratchet wouldn't feel the need to check him over. He glanced back at the medic who offered a small smile.

"I'll check in on you later," Ratchet said.

Thundercracker nodded in agreement, and the door then closed.

Lust permeated his entire frame as he shifted his gaze to his mate. Skywarp had already plopped down on the couch and started to mess around with the game system, starting it up.

"You could play with that game console, or-" Thundercracker wandered over and moved to stand right in Skywarp's line of sight for the large screen monitor. "You could play with me instead."

Skywarp's mouth gaped slightly at he stared up at Thundercracker. "Play...with you? Aren't you tired?"

Thundercracker smiled broadly. "Quite the opposite."

The game controller in his mate's grip fell to the floor. Skywarp started to get up, but Thundercracker moved forward and carefully straddled his mate's lap right on the couch. Desire pushed through his side of the bond as he leaned down and playfully nipped at Skywarp's nose.

Skywarp's hands wrapped around his waist and gently squeezed. "Right here?"

Thundercracker nodded then bent down to brush his lips over Skywarp's teasingly before initiating a kiss. Their lips pressed together then parted to allow their glossae to meet between, where they playfully wrestled before delving into opposing mouths, deepening the kiss.

Thundercracker's dermal plating heated and tingled all over, especially where Skywarp's hands were resting on his waist. It felt too good to bother questioning why as he was swept away with his overwhelming desire.

While their glossa continued to passionately mingle, Skywarp had also reached out to run a hand lightly over one of Thundercracker's wings. His touch was no different than any other time he moved to get in a little wing-play, but, to Thundercracker's surprise, a sharp, intense sensation radiated out from where his mate's fingers moved to massage the appendage. His whole body shuddered hard in response to the touch. Their kiss instantly broke from his overreaction. He sat back, still lightly trembling as the feeling started to ebb away. It hadn't hurt at all. In fact it had felt _amazing_. Was this part of the new phase? Sensitive dermal plating?

"You okay? Did that hurt or something?" Skywarp asked, concerned by the extreme reaction to a gentle touch.

Thundercracker looked at his mate with dimmed optics and offered a small smile. "It appears my dermal plating is extremely sensitive."

Skywarp furrowed his brow. "Really? So wait, did that hurt?"

"Hm, not at all. It felt really _good_," Thundercracker replied as he let his lust push over the bond.

A nefarious look played across Skywarp's face. "I wonder…"

"Wonder?"

His answer came in the form of his Skywarp's hands moving to massage the front sides his extra sensitive wings. Pleasure radiated throughout his entire frame from his mate's talented fingers. He writhed in Skywarp's lap and moaned as grabbed he hold of his shoulders to keep himself steady. He lost all control over his body's reactions as his mate's fingers danced down the bottom edges and then back over the flat expanses of each wing, setting off the hundreds of sensor nodes.

"Waaarp…" He groaned as it became clear he was definitely going to overload from the wing-play alone. Unable to get his vocalizer to do anything other than moan, he spoke over the bond instead. 'I'm going to overload…'

'And I get to watch every moment of it!' Skywarp replied, enthusiastically.

Thundercracker glanced at his mate, who seemed more than pleased to see him coming so completely undone.

"Overload, I want to watch," Skywarp said, smiling.

His fingers dug into Skywarp's shoulders and his body did as it was asked. An overload took hold, blotting out his thoughts as a lovely heated release of energy barreled through his systems. Thundercracker leaned his head back and moaned lowly as he gave into the sensation that enveloped him. As it passed, he sunk down and leaned forward to press his face into Skywarp's neck, feeling vaguely embarrassed at how easily he had overloaded.

"Holy slag, TC! That was so fragging hot to watch." Skywarp moved his hands to lightly rest against Thundercracker's hips.

The haze of his overload's aftermath began to lift away, and Thundercracker realized that his interface array was still very much online beneath the paneling. He knew that his urge to interface would be strong once he reached phase three, according to what he had been told by the medic, but he had no idea his body react like this. Thundercracker moved to trail a hand down Skywarp's chest and cockpit. He wanted more than one short overload. He wanted Skywarp with an overwhelming desire that permeated his entire being. "Glad you enjoyed the show, but it's not really over yet." He pressed his lips to one of Skywarp's neck cables then flicked his glossa out to trace along the curved shape.

Skywarp tilted his head to the side, baring his neck. "It's not?" he asked, half groaning.

Thundercracker opened his interface panel and guided Skywarp's hand to his jack, already hot to the touch and fully extended. His mate slowly started to caress it.

"But, you _just_ overloaded." Skywarp sounded confused.

Thundercracker made a low rumbled sound from deep within his vocalizer as he pulled back to lock optics with his mate. "And now it's apparently time for round two."

The corners of Skywarp's lips pulled upward into a mischievous looking smile.

Watching his mate's fingers lightly tease his jack, he felt heat ripple through his systems once again. His own fingers traced over Skywarp's closed interface panel in a lazy motion. "Open for me?"

Instantly, Skywarp responded and the panel cover retracted. But before Thundercracker could do anything, purple fingers grabbed hold of both jacks and squeezed them together, rubbing them against each other. They moaned in unison at the lovely sensation.

Thundercracker's fingers moved lower to brush over Skywarp's port entrance. His mate's frame faintly jerked in response.

"My port is all yours," Skywarp said, his voice low and husky sounding.

Thundercracker took the verbal cue and pressed his forefinger inside the exposed port, causing a quiet whine to escape Skywarp's vocalizer. He slowly started to pump it in and out, as he watched his mate's face contort with pleasure. He loved seeing that particular expression and decided to up the ante by slipping two fingers into the heated, slick space. His fingers picked up the pace as they slid in and out, stimulating the sensitive sensor-laden port now at his mercy. Skywarp whined with need and let go of their jacks to grab firm hold of Thundercracker's hips.

Thundercracker leaned forward and pressed his lips to Skywarp's audio receptor. "I want my jack inside you." Turning his head to the side, their optics to met in a lustful gaze.

"I want to _ride_ you," Skywarp said as a wave of arousal pushed over their bond.

Thundercracker was hoisted upward by his aft and quickly grabbed tight hold of Skywarp's shoulders to keep from toppling backward as his mate scooted forward off the couch. A hand slid up the center of his back, and Thundercracker felt himself lowered down to the lie on the ground. The floor was cool in contrast the heated temperature of his dermal plating, which sent a shiver through his body.

Skywarp bent forward to trail his lips and glossa over Thundercracker's torso, which sent even more shivers through his frame as he groaned softly.

"It's been too long, TC," Skywarp said just before he wrapped his lips over his jack swallowing its extended length whole. Thundercracker watched intently as Skywarp performed one of his favorite acts of foreplay. Even though it had only been a few Earth weeks since their last time together, Thundercracker felt like it may as well have been a stellar cycle. His body and spark ached for his mate with a deep need he unable to repress. Skywarp's head bobbed slightly as he lapped and sucked at his jack. Primus, what a beautiful sight. His mate's glossa flicked against the sensor nodes that lined it, sending an intense wave of pleasure coursing through him. To keep from overloading again too early, Thundercracker attempted to dampen his sensors. He found it was hard to maintain, though. Moans poured from his vocalizer as he felt the build up of heat start to surge within him. "Waaarp..." Not wanting round two to end before it really started, he reached out and gently tweaked the edge of a black wing.

Skywarp looked up, his mouth still full. 'Something wrong?' he asked over the bond.

'I want to overload _with_ you.'

Lifting his head up, Skywarp licked his lips. Thundercracker's whole frame faintly shuddered at the sight of his lustful mate.

"That sensitive everywhere?" Skywarp asked.

Thundercracker nodded.

Skywarp moved to straddle Thundercracker's hips in a kneeling position. "Then I should catch up then, huh?" Skywarp said with a playful glint in his crimson optics.

Purple hands went gliding over his own interface array, one hand taking hold of his own jack and the other moving to hook a finger inside his port. Thundercracker shifted his weight forward, sitting up. With Skywarp up on his knees, Thundercracker was optic level with his mate's interface hardware. He leaned forward and licked the jack loosely held in his mate's hand, then reached up to press a second finger into the exposed port, joining Skywarp's own.

"Unnn... TC..." Skywarp groaned and let go of his jack. Thundercracker's lips took hold of it, sucking and licking at the length. Their fingers moved together inside Skywarp's port, stimulating the slick meshed walls. "Frag," Skywarp said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Thundercracker lifted his head to look up at the dimmed, dark red optics that were watching him, while still he ran his lips over the end of his mate's jack.

"You are so fragging hot I can't stand it." Skywarp's free hand stroked the side of Thundercracker's helm in a rare tender gesture. They certainly had come far from the still somewhat awkward expressions of their feelings for one another. Between being parted and not being able to spark merge in quite some time, those affectionate feelings were spilling out into more direct actions between them. Their behavior would have surely been dubbed soft-sparked by their fellow Decepticons, but they were no longer forced to hide what they were to one another. They could be much more open about the love they shared now, and that fact seemed to put a finer point on just why Thundercracker had to break them free of their faction and the war.

"You seriously can't be spacing out on me now," Skywarp said, interrupting his thoughts.

Thundercracker's optics snapped back into focus as he stared up at his mate. "I apologize." He flicked his glossa out once more to run the length of the jack as he smiled.

His mate shivered and quietly gasped. "Ohhh, TC, I need you," Skywarp whined as he pulled his finger free of his port to grab hold of Thundercracker's shoulders.

Thundercracker pumped his fingers a few more times in and out of the completely wet port before he used the fluid to coat his jack. Skywarp watched intently. "Ready?" Skywarp asked as Thundercracker moved his hands to wrap around black-colored thighs.

"More than ready," Thundercracker replied.

His mate sunk down into his lap, his port enveloping Thundercracker's jack in a slick heat. They both moaned in response to just how good it felt, while their foreheads pressed together. In a slow, even pace, Skywarp began to move up and down. The feeling of that hot, trembling port wrapped around his jack was intoxicating. Thundercracker's hands ringed his mate's waist as he gently bucked from his seated position in time with Skywarp's pace. After weeks of exhaustion and what had felt like a never-ending ache in his spark, Thundercracker suddenly felt complete again. Their bodies locked together, linking them into one writhing mass that moved as much in unison here as they did in the sky.

'Primus, Warp. You feel incredible.' Thundercracker spoke over the bond since his vocalizer was otherwise occupied with whimpered moans of pleasure.

Skywarp send a wave of his deep love back through their bond.

Thundercracker stared into his mate's optics, which were dim and unfocused. Skywarp was clearly about to overload. He felt almost relived, since he was barely hanging on himself. His dermal plating was tingling, his internal systems were hot and charged with built up electricity, and he could feel the twinges of his eminent overload teasing at him.

Skywarp sunk down onto his jack, plunging it deep inside the heated space, but he didn't lift back up. Thundercracker stilled as he furrowed his brow at his mate in confusion. Skywarp grinned back at him. He opened his mouth to ask why his mate stopped, but instead of speaking he uttered a deep, very loud moan instead as Skywarp ground his hips against Thundercracker's. His jack, buried deep inside his mate, had every sensor lining it massaged by the walls of the port with his mate's motion. In an instant, he overloaded and _hard_. His body contorted as the grip on his mate's waist tightened. Fingers curled into claw-like shapes, his knees bent up, and his whole frame stiffly shuddered as he lost all control. A crashing wave of pleasure folded around him and drowned out his every thought, leaving an all-consuming euphoria in its wake. He felt the walls of the port constrict around his jack, and yet another smaller wave of pure bliss pushed through him. He gave in entirely to the amazing overload flowing through his body. Once the sensation of such an incredible release of energy began to pass, his frame relaxed and he leaned forward, pressing his face against Skywarp's shoulder.

They sat together for a couple of kliks in silence, still trembling while wound around one another, as the wonderful feeling slowly faded away. This moment of pleasure had been about more than just entering a new phase in carrying. He felt a renewed sense of connection to Skywarp as his spark happily thrummed in his chest.

Skywarp wriggled in his lap, and then lifted up disconnecting them. "That was fraggin' awesome."

"Agreed." Thundercracker let go of Skywarp and lay back onto the cool floor, which felt good against his overheated frame.

Skywarp crawled forward and unceremoniously flopped right on top him, forcing a grunt from his vocalizer. "So much better than playing stupid video games!"

Thundercracker laughed a little as he lazily draped an arm over his mate's back.

Skywarp's lips pulled into an easy-going smile. "So, we gonna recharge on the floor?"

"I doubt I have it in me to crawl onto the berth."

"I probably could, but no way in Pit could I drag your aft onto it with me." His mate nestled against his chest. "So this is the new phase, huh?"

"Hmmm, appears to be." Thundercracker replied.

"Much better than the last fraggin' phase. Plus, that helps the sparklet, right?" Skywarp asked as his optics dimmed slightly with his apparent exhaustion.

"Yes. It helps the sparklet grow." Thundercracker traced his fingers lightly over the side of his mate's helm.

"Good. I like that I can help out." Air sighed from Skywarp's intakes as his frame relaxed completely.

His optics darkened then went off and within less than a klik he quickly slipped into a recharge.

_I really wore you out_, thought Thundercracker as he gazed at his mate.

For the moment his libido seemed sated. With his processor free of his lust-laden thoughts, it wandered back to questions about their still unsure path to the future he wanted for them. There were a lot of things they needed to deal with: finding a safe place to live, getting off Earth, and securing a ship. They all seemed like things out of his reach. He knew he would need to make it a reality in order to secure a life that they could actually enjoy together.

He stared at his mate's beautiful face, then sighed air from his intakes in a soft hiss. Even with all the uncertainty that lay ahead, he found great comfort in the fact that at least he had Skywarp here with him. They were going to fight for a new life, _together._

* * *

_A/N- Thanks for all the reviews and feedback, I really do appreciate it. *hearts* Please be sure to keep reviewing and telling me why you like the story, and if you have helpful things to add, please do. Thank you!!__  
_


	7. Arrival

Title: Regardless - Arrival

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker winds up accidentally sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that he might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119._

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead. Although I think this part of 'Sour Times' is fitting for this chapter:

_"_ _'Cause nobody loves me,  
It's true,  
Not like you do."_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

_Thundercracker's flight instructor had started to give him more complicated maneuvers to attempt. He loved the challenge of trying something new. It often took a few tries to finally manage to execute a new maneuver, but he felt extremely proud when he did manage to do it correctly, earning the praise of his instructor. It was worth the extra effort and the sometimes-painful crashes that could result from miscalculating. Today he had been asked to make a series of loops that circled around the outdoor obstacle course on the flying training grounds. His first run through for the new maneuver ended badly when he pulled too tight on his last turn and smacked right into one of the obstacle course pillars. He ignored the laughs of his nearby classmates as he picked himself up. They could laugh all they wanted. He knew what he was trying to do was far more complicated than what they were. _

_He looked to his instructor who motioned for him to try again. _

_Thundercracker made his way to the start of the course for a second attempt. He managed to get in every loop and avoid hitting any of the obstacles, executing the complicated maneuver. Although proud he managed to pull it off, he still frowned, feeling unhappy with his lackluster turns that weren't nearly as tight as they should have been. He flew back over to his instructor, who stood smiling brightly at him. _

"_Excellent job!" the instructor yelled as he got close._

"_My turns were out of control and wide, though," Thundercracker replied as he landed beside his teacher, who patted his shoulder. _

"_Well, then that's the next thing to work on. You know you can do it now. The challenge becomes how to do it even better." His instructor always praised while pushing for Thundercracker to do his best. "But class is over for today. We can work on that tomorrow. All right?"_

_Thundercracker nodded at his teacher. "Thank you!" He turned around and lifted up to fly out of the training area. He landed at the doorway to the attached building, where most of the creators waited while their sparklings had their lessons, and crossed the threshold looking around for his father. He spied him leaning against the wall not too far away and excitedly bounded over to him. _

"_Hey you!" his father said while stooping down to hug Thundercracker. "I saw you did really well."_

_Inside Thundercracker beamed. As much as he liked being praised by the instructor, he _loved_ hearing he made his father proud. _

"_You are so talented," His father leaned back and smiled warmly at him. _

_This was the best part of his day: flying well and seeing his father truly happy. _

"_So sweet I could purge," said an all too familiar voice from behind his father. They both shifted to look toward the source of the voice to see his cruel father standing a few meters away. "Just making sure my credits aren't going to waste." His cruel father narrowed his optics on Thundercracker._

"_You are such an aft!" His caring father grabbed hold of Thundercracker's hand. "Come on, let's go."_

_Thundercracker took jogging steps in order to keep pace with his loving father as they exited the training facility. They had made it about a block away when his cruel father suddenly appeared in front of them. _

"_Where are you going in such a hurry, dearest?" his cruel father asked while sneering. "Off to spend more of my credits on the brat?"_

"_How can you be jealous of your own offspring? What is wrong with you?" _

"_That thing means more to you than me!"_

_Thundercracker watched helplessly as his fathers started to argue loudly in public. Suddenly, all the joy he felt from making his loving father proud drained away, leaving him feeling hollow and worthless. He stood on the verge of tears as his fathers traded horrible insults. Passersby would give sideways glances at them and shake their heads judgmentally. He pressed against his loving father and buried his face against his side, trying to shut everything out. Why did his cruel father have to hate him so much? _

o o o o_  
_

The usually pristine Autobot medbay seemed to be in disarray. Tools lay strewn across tabletops and berths, broken, charred parts lay in a pile on Ratchet's main workbench, and a curtain was drawn around side area of medbay berths. Thundercracker assumed there were patients on the other side of the cordoned off area. He surveyed the scene as he followed Ratchet inside, leaving the small silver gunner, who had been his escort, waiting at the medbay doors. For the first time in almost two Earth weeks, Thundercracker had been brought to medbay for a more thorough examination. Skywarp had been left in their room, busily smashing a video game car into the game's innocent bystanders, blissfully unaware the war continued to rage without them.

He had a pretty good clue what had happened and decided not to bother asking as he was led to a back room he had never been in before. That megalomaniac, Megatron, had probably tried to hatch another scheme, leading to what appeared to have been an intense battle between the factions. For a brief moment, he wondered about Starscream and if he was involved at all in the scuffle. Skywarp had informed Thundercracker, after being reunited, that Starscream had searched for him non-stop since his disappearance, which seemed odd. Why would Starscream, who claimed he only cared about himself, bother looking for a comrade? There must have been a selfish reason for it. He just wasn't sure what.

"You can lay back and go ahead and open up." Ratchet sounded tired.

Thundercracker glanced at the medic. His face looked drawn and even his movements were a touch slower than usual. He complied, and Ratchet started a scan of his spark first.

When he had been half awake, all the poking and prodding didn't bother him nearly as much as it now did. It was all the more difficult now that he had discovered his dermal plating was extremely sensitive as a part of moving into phase three of carrying. Skywarp had made a game of it, touching his wings and pretending it was an accident, which inevitably led to another round of interfacing. Over the last couple of weeks he and Skywarp had interfaced almost non-stop it seemed. Thundercracker felt extremely grateful for his mate's stamina and willingness, since he seemed unable to control himself for the most part.

"I don't even really need the scanner. Your sparklet had grown quite a bit," Ratchet said as he pulled the scanner away from his chest. He then let the medbay berth start taking deeper body scans while plugging a cord into the back of Thundercracker's neck to take even more readings. As the information started to compile, Ratchet stared up at the monitor mounted above the head of the medbay berth.

Thundercracker looked around the room that was isolated from the rest of medbay. "Why didn't you keep me in here before?"

"Hm?" Ratchet said, in a daze. He glanced around the isolated space, then his optics brightened as he realized what Thundercracker meant. "Oh, this room you mean. I was using it for storage but managed to get it cleaned out. When the time comes for the separation, you will need more privacy than a curtain can provide," Ratchet replied as his optics returned to gazing on the monitor. "On the whole, everything looks good, although I do see your core temperature is a little high."

"Could that be a side effect of the phase I am in?" Thundercracker asked.

"Hm, maybe." Ratchet looked back over at Thundercracker. "You interfacing about once a day yet?"

Heat flashed over Thundercracker's faceplates at the question. He then frowned at the medic. "Two, sometimes, three times."

"Well, that might be it. And that certainly explains how the sparklet got so big so fast," Ratchet replied, without an ounce of judgment in his voice. "Still, I want to be sure to keep close tabs on it. You can close your chest."

Thundercracker did as directed, then placed one of hands over the top portion of the cockpit, fingering the smooth glass.

"Did you have any questions for me? Usually carriers have a lot of concerns about the separation process. I could explain in detail if you would like," Ratchet offered.

Shifting his gaze to the medic, Thundercracker allowed his frown to deepen. "I have already gone over the information you gave me to read."

"And you don't have _any_ questions?" Ratchet asked as he raised an optic ridge.

Thundercracker considered what he had learned about the actual process of separation. The information he read indicated it would be painful and no amount of pain reducers would be able to help since it was at the spark level. He had once survived a cracked spark chamber injury, which had been incredibly agonizing, so that part didn't worry him. Pain was something he could handle. He suddenly remembered reading a section in the literature that warned there was a low statistical chance that the sparklet might not accept the protoform. To have come this far and possibly lose their sparkling would be devastating.

"I did read that it's possible the sparklet won't accept the protoform." Thundercracker's frown faded as he furrowed his brow. "Have you ever seen that happen?"

"Yes," Ratchet replied grimly. "But if that does happen we have a specialized chamber to hold the sparklet for up to three cycles. Most of the time, that is long enough to make adjustments to the protoform's spark chamber to better suit the sparklet. Just so you know, in the cases I saw, it had to do with the protoform's spark chamber being too large for an undersized sparklet, which I can say with certainty is not the case here." Ratchet offered a tired-looking smile as he patted Thundercracker's arm. "Just keep up the pace with interfacing."

Thundercracker let air from his intakes escape in a hiss to denote his annoyance, while also covering for his embarrassment.

"Also, I will make sure Skywarp bonds to the sparkling after the separation."

Thundercracker narrowed his optics. "Bond? What does that mean?"

"The sparkling already has a parental bond to you because it's attached to your spark. But for Skywarp to also forge that type of bond it's very important that he be the first one the sparkling sees, touches, and is held by as he comes online. The sparkling has Skywarp's energy signature already imprinted on his spark, but by maintaining constant contact at that critical point it helps the sparkling recognize whose signature it is, as well as helps to kick on Skywarp's own parental protocols. It wasn't in what I gave you to read since it's technically after the separation." Ratchet motioned for him to sit back up.

"I had no idea that was how it worked." Thundercracker sat up on the berth.

"Yep. It's an important step that I have seen, more often than I would have liked, skipped over."

Thundercracker suddenly wondered if his cruel father's behavior might have been due in part to not being properly bonded. It also might explain why Thundercracker had felt no grief when he died, either.

"Anyway, you are doing really well so far, and if there is anything else you need, let me know. I also have another set of datapads ready for you two to read about sparkling care."

"Actually," Thundercracker swung his legs off the medbay berth. "We have no plans on staying here long term. If there is a way to get a hold of a detailed starmap, that would be extremely helpful."

"Oh. But your sparkling will need upgrades," Ratchet replied.

"I know. We will need a ship as well to come back here for the sparkling's care, but I can't exactly do anything about that at the moment." Thundercracker let his optics drag over to the doorway of the room they were in. "And there is no fragging way I am raising my sparkling here in the middle of this war." He then looked back at Ratchet and narrowed his optics. "I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is safe from it."

Ratchet canted his head at Thundercracker. "We have a sparkling here. He has no clue about the war. It can be done."

Thundercracker faintly shook his head at the medic. "Right now he doesn't know. But when he gets bigger he will learn about it. In fact, the first time he sees one of his creators recovering from an injury, he will learn about it. No amount of sheltering will hide the fact that he's living on a base."

The medic glanced downward as he seemed to mull over Thundercracker's words for a long klik before he looked back up, half smiling. "Your sparkling is very lucky. I will get that map for you and bring it by a little later."

Lucky? Thundercracker decided not to ask what Ratchet meant by that and nodded at him instead. "Thank you."

o o o o

"This one has techno-organic life. It is also close to a large star like this planet," Thundercracker commented. He had been scrolling through a datapad with a detailed starmap reading various ones out loud in an attempt to get Skywarp's opinions on potential places to escape to.

"Techno-organic?" Skywarp repeated. His mate had made himself comfortable by lying on his side with his head on Thundercracker's lap.

"Half like us, half like the inhabitants of this planet."

"Do they have the same grimy dirt there as Earth has?" Skywarp asked.

"Yes, looks like it," Thundercracker replied.

"Pass."

Thundercracker laughed a little as he scrolled through the map some more. Finding someplace to go was only the first step. They were going to need a small, working space ship that would be easy to maintain. That would much tougher to come by. There were still working ships back on Cybertron; it would be a matter or getting there and then stealing one.

A quiver within his spark interrupted his thoughts as the sparklet made itself known. He lowered the pad and rubbed at his chest. Originally he only felt it when he was experiencing extreme emotions, but now that it was larger he had been feeling it at random intervals over the last few Earth days.

"Is something wrong, TC?"

"No. I can feel it more now," Thundercracker replied.

Skywarp reached up and touched Thundercracker's cockpit. "You have to be patient. We'll meet you soon. No need to bug TC so much."

"He's not bothering me," Thundercracker said while smiling down at his mate.

_He. _He was about to be something more than an abstract concept, more than a flickering light from spark scan, more than a reading on a screen. He would be a real being, capable of independent thought and growth. The sparklet quivered again even harder. Thundercracker grunted a little at the sensation. It almost..._hurt_.

"TC?" Skywarp moved to sit up. "Something is wrong, isn't it?"

Another sensation of the sparklet moving and a this time a distinct pain was associated with it.

"I think I should see Ratchet," Thundercracker replied.

Skywarp leapt off the berth and slammed a fist into the intercom. "Hey medic! Something's wrong!"

"Be right there," Ratchet replied.

Thundercracker rubbed at his cockpit and the strange sensations from within. It seemed too soon. Hadn't the medic said three Earth weeks? It had been only two. Was that bad? Was something in fact wrong? Thundercracker tried to calm the potential spiral of panic he felt rising within him. Skywarp returned to his side and sat lightly petting one of his wings, which did help to distract him from the unfamiliar feelings inside his spark.

The door to the room slid open, revealing Ratchet. The medic had come alone and proceeded inside. "Open up."

Thundercracker scooted to the edge of the berth and opened his chest and spark chamber beneath. Ratchet bent over and took one long hard look. "Yeah. It's trying to separate." He locked optics with Thundercracker. "Let's get you to medbay."

Skywarp's concern started to flash over the edges of their bond. "I thought there was supposed to be another Earth week!"

"The sparklet is pretty big. The time frame is a general one. Each carrier's time frame can be altered depending on all sorts of factors." Ratchet stood back up. "You need assistance, or-"

Thundercracker waved dismissively at the medic as he got to his feet. "I'm fine. Let's go."

o o o o

Worried didn't even begin to describe how Skywarp felt. On the verge of completely panicking was a better description. Fear brought on in part by how he felt like he was moving into completely unfamiliar territory. What the frag did he know about being part of a real family? Other than Thundercracker, no one had ever truly accepted him. And what if his mate _did_ end up ignoring him for the sparkling? Then he would have risked everything he knew for nothing. _No, TC wouldn't do that, he promised,_ Skywarp reminded himself.

He silently battled the doubts that took over his processor, while walking behind his mate and the medic. They entered medbay and were led into a back area room that from the looks of it had been set up in advance for this moment. A table in the corner had a small, pod-shaped container on it, and he wondered if the protoform was in there. He hadn't seen it yet, and suddenly wondered what it looked like. He had spent so much time concentrating on his mate that he realized there were some huge questions he had forgotten to ask.

"Skywarp, could you stay over to that side?"

He looked at the medic who was now pointing to the far side of the berth that Thundercracker was laying back on. "Yeah," Skywarp replied as he circled to the opposite side.

Thundercracker glanced up at him with a small smile.

He had never known his mate to be afraid of anything, but he could sense a twinge of fear through their bond. Skywarp had only skimmed some of the information that Ratchet encouraged them to read, but he knew from what little he had read that this was the potentially dangerous part for both his mate as well as their sparkling. Skywarp tried to will himself to be strong for Thundercracker's sake and fight back his own concerns for their future. It was the least he could do in return for his mate's diligent care and protection over the stellar cycles. Even if in the end he might not be as important to his mate as the sparkling.

"So! Time already, huh?" said a funny-looking Autobot from the doorway.

"Yeah, a little early, but the sparklet looks plenty large enough," Ratchet replied.

Skywarp frowned at the new arrival.

"Wheeljack, I need you to prep the protoform," Ratchet said as he plugged a cable into the back of Thundercracker's neck. The video monitor inset over the head of the berth lit up with several different readings.

Skywarp stared at them trying to figure out what they were. Lines and colors were moving in seemingly random patterns. The only one he thought he recognized was one that had a flashing line that seemed to flash at the same speed he knew Thundercracker's spark pulsed. "How the frag do you know what all that means?"

"This screen shows a series of vitals from all life sustaining systems, like energon absorption and core temperature. This one shows how systems cope with strain, as long as they are within range they shouldn't sustain any damage, and as you can see they are all between the lines, so things are good. That screen follows Thundercracker's spark pulse, and the screen below it is the sparkling's," Ratchet explained as he gestured.

"Oh," Skywarp replied. Even though he felt pleased he had recognized his mate's spark pulse, he also felt completely overwhelmed by the enormity of what was happening. The medic was going to monitor practically every one of Thundercracker's systems, which seemed to drive home just how serious the situation was. Skywarp suddenly longed for the Constructicons, who never explained anything; they just smashed things back into place and knocked them out in the meantime to stop them from complaining.

"He knows what he is doing, Warp," Thundercracker said in a reassuring voice.

Looking back down, Skywarp remembered he was going to be the one to offer comfort. "I know." He perked his wings up a little to seem more confident than he actually felt.

Ratchet and the other Autobot moved about the space, prepping items on a table including the small pod from the corner.

A sensation of apprehension pushed over their bond, and Skywarp looked back at his mate. Thundercracker's face was drawn and tight-looking. He knew that look. His mate was in pain. In all the time he had known Thundercracker, not once had he cried or made a single sound to denote the pain he felt from any injury. Skywarp knew that spark pain was the worst kind to endure, and seeing his mate remain mute showed just how much stubborn pride Thundercracker really did have.

"Okay. I'm all set with the protoform," Wheeljack announced.

"Good." Ratchet picked up what looked like oversized tweezers with glossy rounded tips and bent over Thundercracker's exposed spark watching intently. "Hey, Jack, keep an eye on vitals while I wait for the separation to complete, which looks like it will be with in a couple kliks here."

"Sure thing," replied the other.

The medic looked at Thundercracker and half smiled. "Guess your sparkling is in a hurry."

Thundercracker grunted in reply.

Skywarp began to slowly trail his fingers along the blue wing next to him in hopes of helping to offset the pain. He glanced at his mate's face, which was starting to show the strain of what was happening. Thundercracker had furrowed his brow, and his lips were pressed into a thin flat-looking line.

"The core temp is running hot, Ratch."

"Hm. I was worried about that. Nothing I can do about that at the moment. The tendril is already getting thin," Ratchet replied, preoccupied with his attention to the sparklet.

Slowly the medic lowered the tip of the tool in his hand closer to his mate's spark. From what Skywarp could see, the sparklet was moving really quickly around the larger spark, like a fast moving moon around a planet. Ratchet made a move to grab it with the tool but missed, as it zipped past. "Fraggit! Get back here you little-" Ratchet plunged the tweezers in again, and this time Thundercracker faintly jerked in response and the medic pulled back. "Sorry, try and stay still. It's really fast-" Again, he dipped the tip of the tool into the glowing essence of his mate and this time grabbed hold of the tiny, fast-pulsing light. "Gotcha!" The sparklet seemed to struggle against the strange tool as Ratchet started to pull it away. Skywarp watched with wide optics at the tiny life now fighting for itself. A threadlike tendril of light connected to Thundercracker's spark thinned then disappeared.

In a quick motion Ratchet spun around towards the protoform ready and waiting in the other mech's hands. Skywarp's spark seemed to contract with anticipation as he watched Ratchet lower the tiny spark into the opened chest of a small black and purple colored sparkling frame.

"Come on little guy," said the Autobot holding the protoform.

A long silence seemed to stretch on for a never-ending klik. Finally it broke when the medic smiled and spoke. "There you go."

Suddenly a warning sound from the monitor above Thundercracker started to sound. Skywarp glanced at the screen to see all sorts of red flashing warnings. He then looked down at his mate whose optics had gone black. "TC!"

"Jack, take the protoform and Skywarp out while I stabilize."

Skywarp narrowed his optics at the medic, watching as Ratchet started to pry off paneling along one side of Thundercracker's torso. No way in Pit was he going anywhere until he knew Thundercracker was going to be all right.

A light touch to his elbow took him by surprise and on reflex he balled his hand into a fist and spun partway around about to punch the mech that startled him. He paused mid-air as his gaze landed on the small funny-looking Autobot holding their sparkling. His own spark ached in his chest at the sight of their creation as the stress of everything pushed down on him with unrelenting force. What if Thundercracker died? Would Skywarp be left to rear the sparkling alone? He knew deep in his spark he could never have the kind of strength it would take to do that. He _needed _Thundercracker, and he realized it wasn't just because of the sparkling, either. Every ounce of his being yearned to be near the only mech that showed him what love actually felt like, the only mech that had, so far, always wanted him. "I'm not leaving TC's side!" Skywarp suddenly snapped as he looked back at the medic.

"He's gonna be fine, I just need to deal with the burnt out regulator. Go with Wheeljack, _now_," Ratchet ordered. "You need to bond to your sparkling when he comes online."

Skywarp's spark seemed to twist in its chamber. Ratchet made it sound like something easily repairable, but how could he be sure the medic wasn't lying to him? He realized that _he couldn't_. But should he really leave his mate's side? He glanced at the sparkling. Its optics were still black, and it appeared so lifeless.

"I said _go!_" Ratchet said sharply.

Reluctantly, Skywarp took a step closer to the Autobot and his sparkling as he lowered his raised fist. He gave the medic one last harsh look. "If you let him die, I will make you pay."

Ratchet dismissively waved a hand at him.

The smaller Autobot led him outside in the larger medbay area and had Skywarp sit on a nearby medbay berth. Skywarp plopped down and craned his head to peer back into the room. Ratchet was elbow deep inside his mate's offlined frame doing his repairs.

"Ratch is the best; you don't need to worry," said the Autobot beside him. "Here. The sparkling's systems are booting already, so his optics will light any second. To help bond him to you, it's important that you are the first thing he sees."

Skywarp sourly looked up at the weird glowing head fins on the Autobot, then down at the sparkling being offered to him. Skywarp reached out and took hold of it. With stiff arms, he held it away from himself and stared at its lifeless face. It looked like nothing more than an empty shell, although he could feel a faint sensation of warmth radiating from it.

"Bend one of your arms and use it to cradle him," Wheeljack explained while pantomiming with his own arms.

"Oh," Skywarp replied. He did as he was shown and laid the small sparkling so its head was nestled in the crook of his elbow. The plating of the sparkling began to gently vibrate. "What's it doing? I thought they just wake up."

"Ah well, you see the new spark learned how to talk to systems and regulate power from being attached to his carrier. So he's working to implement what little he has already learned. Takes some time since he's not getting any assistance from a bigger spark," Wheeljack explained in a friendly tone.

Skywarp instinctively frowned at the kindness. He never trusted anyone, especially when they were being extra nice. To him, that usually meant they wanted something. He held the sparkling a little closer to his chest as he gave the helpful Autobot a dirty look.

Suddenly he heard a strangled sound emit from the tiny vocalizer. Dropping his attention to the small face he saw his sparkling frown while scrunching up his nose. Then two crimson-colored optics lit up and focused on him.

In an instant the _idea _of a sparkling became _reality_.

"Whoa," Skywarp said in quiet awe.

He stared into the face of a now conscious being cradled in the crook of his arm. The sparkling stared back up at him as if trying to memorize what he saw. He was a living being that he and Thundercracker had _made_. This little sparkling was theirs and no one else's. A sense of pride mixed with his overall feeling of total amazement as he gazed back into the sparkling's tiny crimson optics. "We made you…"

Skywarp ran his fingers over a purple-colored upper arm and unconsciously frowned at the color choice. He could still hear his adoptive-brother's taunting voice repeat words from so long ago across his processor about being 'ugly'. Although he associated the unusual color with the painful memories, Skywarp didn't see the sparkling as ugly at all. In fact, their sparkling seemed _perfect _just as he was_._

"All right, he's stable."

Skywarp broke his tunneled attention away from the sparkling to look up at Ratchet as he wandered out from the back room with some type of part in his hand. He held it up and shook his head at it. "Burned out the regulator. It's a type I haven't seen before. I put in a temporary part until I can rebuild this one." He then glanced at Skywarp and smiled. "You want to wait in there until he comes to?"

Holding the sparkling close to his chest, Skywarp slid to stand. He didn't bother answering as he pushed past the medic and headed back into the room where Thundercracker was. Ratchet followed behind him.

He moved to the side of the berth and gazed down at his mate, still offline. "So he's really okay?"

"Yep." The medic lightly patted the side of Skywarp's arm. "Congratulations, by the way. I'll go ahead and close the door to give you some privacy," Ratchet said. The medic then walked back to the entrance and dimmed the lighting before he slid the door closed.

Holding the sparkling up at an angle Skywarp pointed. "That's TC from the outside." The sparkling stared intently at Thundercracker, once again looking as though he were memorizing what he saw. "He's gonna be a really good father. I'm gonna be the one that will frag up things."

Skywarp sighed air from his intakes as he gazed at the sparkling.

He felt so completely drained by the whole ordeal, and it had only just started. Setting aside the potential fear of how this would affect his and Thundercracker's relationship to one another, there were a thousand 'what ifs' that now stood in the way of the ultimate goal of getting off Earth. Even if they managed to escape, get a hold of a space ship, and even find someplace suitable to rear their sparkling, there were still so many other things that could go wrong. What if the sparkling resented Skywarp, or vice versa? What if the sparkling got hurt and they had no way of getting care for him? He winced, feeling tied by his own thoughts. He really preferred leaving the stress of worrying to Thundercracker. This was not something he was good at handling.

Glancing around he noticed a chair in the corner that fortunately didn't have any side arms, so he could sit without pinching his wings at an awkward angle. He flopped down onto the comfortable chair and leaned back holding the sparkling to his chest. They stared at each other for a while. He could still hardly believe this had all really happened.

Their sparkling hadn't made any more noises, but instead kept randomly failing his arms and legs around. "You're the quiet type, huh? Or are you just getting used to that new body of yours?"

The sparkling's optics brightened as he made a squeaked sound.

"Oh! You do make noise. I wonder how long until you can talk to us," Skywarp replied, unable to repress the urge to smile. "I had no idea TC made you look like me. Sorry about that."

The sparkling squeaked again.

"I also realize we never picked a name for you, either."

Crimson red optics dimmed, as the sparkling seemed to start to relax and stop moving. A small wave of panic rolled through him until he realized he could still feel the thrum of systems, and he figured that the sparkling must be going into a recharge.

"Tired? Me, too," Skywarp said in a quieter voice.

He watched as the sparkling went limp in his grip. Skywarp glanced over at his mate, also recharging. _I can't believe what you got us into, TC_, he thought to himself. He looked back down at the sparkling curled up against him. A sense of hope filled him as he gazed at their small creation, pushing some of his deeper doubts to the edges of his mind. At least for the moment, he was part of a real family. That was something he had _never_ had before. Why worry about things he had no control over? He decided he should enjoy the present for all it was worth. The uncertain future would simply have to wait.

* * *

_A/N- Thanks for all the reviews and feedback, I really do appreciate it, you guys are the best~! Please be sure to keep reviewing and telling me why you like the story, and if you have helpful things to add, please do. It maybe a little while before I post again. Real life has sucked up my extra time lately. I do have part of the next chapter written, but it's no where near done. So please hang in here with me and thank you again for reading!!__  
_


	8. Fight

Title: Regardless - Fight

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker winds up accidentally sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that he might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119._

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead. I like this part of "War" by the Cardigans for this chapter:

_"_ _Oh, come crush me now,  
Don't leave,  
No one has won this war…  
this time."_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

_Blue fingers made lazy, slow motions over the expanse of Thundercracker's wings. He faintly shivered from the sensation. The last place he ever expected to be was in Starscream's berth, but they each seemed to need the comfort after watching their former trinemember, Firestorm, die before their optics. Thundercracker wondered how many more he might see die thanks to this war. He also wondered if it would remain this painful each time._

_"My turn," Starscream decreed._

_Thundercracker glanced over his shoulder to see Starscream shift around. He also turned around and started to return the affectionate action as he lightly ran his hands over Starscream's wings. His trineleader's wings were perked up on his back in a tense posture._

_"We need to find a replacement," Starscream said casually._

_Thundercracker quietly grunted in reply._

_"At first, I really did think this war would end quickly. Megatron seemed like he might have the power to quash the Council after killing Sentinel Prime. I think he's made some stupendous blunders, though. I bet if _I _were in charge this war would have been won already." Starscream's wings started to relax as he sighed air from his intakes._

_At the Academy, Thundercracker had trained in flying and combat, earning a degree known as 'Aerial Defense'. Starscream, on the other hand, had been through that program and the more academic oriented program, 'Science and Research', earning himself duel degrees. In their short time together, he had started to see that Starscream as over-ambitious and too smart for his own good at times. He worried that his trineleader's stubborn streak and arrogance might put them in even more peril as time progressed._

_"You are being especially quiet." Starscream twisted to look at him over his shoulder. "Has Firestorm's death been… painful for you?"_

_Thundercracker met his gaze. They had both watched Firestorm get ripped in two by an oversized warrior. How could that memory file be anything less than painful? The agonizing sound of Firestorm shrieking mixed with the sickening sound of the metal of his body creaking and bending until it broke. Still, he didn't quite like the tone of Starscream's voice and decided to keep his answer somewhat aloof. "I suppose."_

_"Perhaps there is something I could to help." Starscream turned back around on the berth so they faced one another. Thundercracker furrowed his brow at him, unsure what his intentions might be. A blue hand reached out to run along the innerside of one of Thundercracker's wings. Starscream scooted closer and pressed his lips to the sensitive surface. Shocked by the forward act, he sat perfectly still, staring with wide optics at his trineleader. A glossa flicked out and slid over the leading edge of the wing, and Thundercracker couldn't help but shudder in response._

_"W-what are you doing?" Thundercracker finally managed to croak out._

_"What does it look like?" Starscream asked in an irritated voice._

_"But... you've never..." Thundercracker trailed off as Starscream moved to straddle his lap._

_"You prefer jacking in?" Starscream asked as nonchalantly as if he were asking what type of energon Thundercracker might prefer._

_Thundercracker frowned deeply at Starscream. "You are serious?"_

_"Yes. Isn't this something you did with Firestorm?" Starscream asked, looking somewhat bewildered by Thundercracker's response._

_"I never interfaced with Firestorm."_

_Starscream's optics brightened with his apparent surprise. "I see."_

_Whenever Thundercracker felt that type of desire welling up in him, he usually just went to the local energon bar. Due to his looks, he had no problem finding a willing partner, but he always kept it casual and noncommittal. Besides, he didn't find Firestorm all that attractive. Their former member had been a solid deep red color, no stripes on his wings, and his face usually curled into an irritated-looking snarl. _

_"He wasn't to your taste?" Starscream asked._

_"Not really."_

_"Am _I_ also not to your taste?"_

_Thundercracker stared into his trineleader's face. His darker toned faceplates were unusual, and his facial structure was very refined-looking. Starscream was beautiful. He would give him that. If it were possible to mute his vocalizer he might even find himself half-tempted. "You're good-looking. You don't need me to tell you that."_

_Starscream was quiet for a long moment as he stared at Thundercracker intently. "I never allow anyone to jack into me, so this is a one-time offer. Take it or leave it."_

_Offended by the callous tone, Thundercracker pushed Starscream off his lap and stood up. "I'm _not_ interested."_

_"Does that mean you don't want to be in this trine anymore, _either?_" Starscream asked in a shrill voice._

_"I didn't say that. I will remain loyal to the trine, but I don't think fragging you will make me feel any better right now." Thundercracker clenched his dentia as he fought to repress his anger at Starscream's blatant attempt at manipulation._

_Starscream seemed to regard him thoughtfully for a long, drawn out klik. "I appreciate your loyalty."_

_"May I return to my quarters?" Thundercracker replied in a clipped tone._

_"Yes."_

_Thundercracker spun around on his heels and exited Starscream's room. It was a short distance to his room one door down. They were currently housed in an impromptu base that was once the city center for Vos but had been co-opted by the Decepticon leader. Megatron had also taken over the local flying Academy, training the young fliers in the art of war. Thundercracker tried to not to think about the perversion Vos had become under his control, instead concentrating on the fight to remain free to fly. Inside his quiet room, he landed on his berth in a heap, trying to quiet his processor from all the thoughts racing through it. Firestorm's death, Megatron's control over their city, Starscream's naked ambition, and how Thundercracker was alone in the midst of it. He had sworn his loyalty to Starscream and would honor that pledge. Not because he cared about him, though. He stayed because he had nothing else left now that his father was gone._

o o o o_  
_

It had been several Earth hours now, and Thundercracker remained offline. Ratchet had been in to check on Thundercracker regularly, each time assuring Skywarp that his mate's deep recharge had more to do with the aftermath of the separation than the failed regulator. Skywarp didn't entirely believe the medic, but he was in no position at the moment to openly question him, either. He just wanted Ratchet to look after his mate's well-being, which meant placating him with fake smiles.

Their sparkling sat comfortably in Skywarp's lap, making small noises as he carefully examined the set of blocks Wheeljack had brought for him to play with. The strange-looking Autobot had gone on and on about how playing with the different textured blocks would help the sparkling's processor to develop. Skywarp watched his offspring with the same intense curiosity that his sparkling exhibited towards his toy blocks as he fingered each one. Skywarp lightly ran his fingers down their sparkling's back, noting the warmth and vibration that came from the tiny systems powering him. He had helped to create this small being and in their short time together he felt a strange new set of emotions he was grappling with. The same sort of complete devotion he carried in his spark for Thundercracker seemed to be extending to this new life, including an intense desire to protect him. Earlier, while Wheeljack had been giving him a crash course on sparkling care, he refused to allow the funny-looking Autobot to touch his sparkling at all. Only hours before he had felt nothing, but now-

"Ah!" The sparkling held up at a block, waving it at Skywarp, interrupting his thoughts.

Taking the block from his sparkling, he held in his much larger hand. The sparkling stared at it, then frowned as he made a whining sound.

"You want it back?" Skywarp asked.

The sparking looked up at him with wide, pleading optics.

"Fraggit, you are cute." He lowered his hand, and the sparkling took possessive hold of the block, tucking it under his chin and looking up, somewhat suspiciously, at Skywarp. "Hm. You are acting like me. TC needs to wake up soon, so he can be a better influence."

"I rather like the idea of two of you. Although, in the end, he will be his own mech. Our influences will only mold him to a point."

Skywarp's gaze shot upward to see Thundercracker propped up on his elbows watching them with a small, reserved smile playing across his lips.

"TC! You're finally up!" Skywarp scooped the sparkling up, holding him against his chest, and quickly got to his feet. In his hurried motion, the block fell to the ground, and their sparkling started to cry. "Ugh! Fraggin'─ Here!" Skywarp pushed the crying sparkling into Thundercracker's arms and then spun around, plucked the fallen block up off the floor and handed it to the sparkling. Instantly, the crying stopped.

Thundercracker ran his fingers over the small helm, and the sparkling turned to look up at him with a smile while clinging to the chosen favorite block. Seeing his mate holding their offspring filled Skywarp with opposing emotions. On one hand, everything Thundercracker had suffered though in order to reach this moment and the joy he could feel pushing over their bond made Skywarp proud that they managed to beat the odds and have their sparkling. And yet, seeing the look of clear love and pure devotion on his mate's face as he and the sparkling stared at one another worried Skywarp. Jealously seemed to creep in around the edges of his processor. He wanted Thundercracker for himself, and now he would have to share.

"Cee!" said the sparkling.

"Cee?" Thundercracker asked, curiously.

"Oh, that's you. He can't make a 'tee' sound yet." Skywarp said, as tried to clamp his emotions down tightly. Last thing he wanted to do was ruin this moment with what he knew were selfish feelings.

Thundercracker smiled as he pointed to Skywarp. "That's Warp."

Their sparkling swiveled his head to look at Skywarp and made a happy sounding squeal. What the frag was wrong with him that he felt jealous of his own sparkling? He shouldn't feel this way. It was wrong.

"You all right?" Thundercracker asked, canting his head to one side.

Skywarp stared at his mate for a long moment, attempting to get a grip on his conflicting emotions. "I should be asking _you_ that, right? I mean, you feel okay and everything?"

"I feel fine. In fact, I feel like myself again." Thundercracker smiled as he turned his attention back to their sparking. "Much better now that my body is no longer sustaining you." His mate's black fingers swept down the tiny cheek of their sparking, who stared up at him with look of wonder and adoration.

Skywarp took a half-step back, unable to stop himself from sliding toward that dark place inside his spark that he had managed to stay away from for the most part. A place filled with self-doubt and hatred. Since he was a youngling he had repressed those feelings and did his best to live in the moment and enjoy himself. To forget the past and not be weighed down by it. Pretend to be happy and fool everyone, even himself. The scene before him drudged up the painful feelings of not being good enough that he usually let seethe just under the surface and fuel his intensity in battle. This was not the time or place to feel this way...

'Warp.' Even over the bond, Thundercracker sounded stern.

'Yeah?' Skywarp replied as he locked gazes with his mate.

'What's wrong?'

Lowering his head, Skywarp glanced to the sparkling. 'It's nothing.'

The sparkling looked back at him and smiled brightly.

'Don't shut me out, Warp. What is going on?' Thundercracker said, pushing for the truth.

Skywarp grimaced as he searched for words that would describe how he felt. Jealous, scared, worried. Inside his head he could tell just how selfish those emotions really were.

'Warp, talk to me.'

Unable to meet his mate's gaze, his optics dropped to the edge of the berth near his hand. He fingered it nervously. 'Things are going to be...different between us.'

Skywarp felt a hand wrap around his other wrist and tug on him to step closer. He took a couple forced steps toward Thundercracker and glanced up at him while pressing his lips together in a hard, flat line.

"Things will be different, but not between _you_ and _me_. I love you, Warp. Nothing, not even our sparkling, will change that." Thundercracker's hand tightened around Skywarp's wrist. "The difference will be that I won't be the only one that loves you." His mate glanced down at the sparkling in his lap who now watched them both, looking concerned. "He'll love you back just as much as _you love_ him."

As if on cue the sparkling held out his prized block, waving it at Skywarp. Unable to help it, a smile spread across Skywarp's lips as he lowered his hand. Their sparkling handed the block to him, then gazed back up. Two small crimson optics watched him intently, so filled with hope. He held the textured block in his hand, rolling it between his fingertips for a moment before he held out, offering it back. Their sparkling grabbed it and squealed excitedly. The sound made his spark thrum happily in his chest, chasing back the darkness and fear of the unknown. He had never considered the fact that both Thundercracker and their sparkling would love him. He found a great measure of comfort came with that realization. Still, his happiness had always felt transitory. Things that brought him joy had been ripped away from him so often it was hard to trust that things for them would work out how his mate wanted them to.

"It's just— everyone has always ditched me in the end. I don't think I could take it if either of you left me." It was his deepest fear:_ being abandoned_. He let that feeling of fear slip over the bond.

"Warp, look at me." Thundercracker commanded. Skywarp did as he was asked, looking up at his mate. "Primus himself couldn't stop me from coming for you. Maybe just delay me a little," Thundercracker said with a smug smile.

Skywarp smiled back in spite of himself. "You know what? I believe that," he replied. The deep-seated fear seemed to ebb away with Thundercracker's assurances. "Just keep reminding me, okay? This is all kinda overwhelming for me."

Thundercracker moved to lace his fingers with Skywarp's. "I will."

Silence reigned for a few minutes as they watched their sparkling start to examine the block again, utterly engrossed in touching the texture surfaces.

"So, he needs a name. We never picked one." Skywarp said, finally breaking the quiet of the moment as he placed his free hand on the sparkling's helm.

"Seeing as I picked the colors without you, it seems only fair that you be the one to name him," Thundercracker replied.

Their sparkling frowned and attempted to bat away Skywarp's hand with one arm, while holding the toy block against his chest with the other.

"Why _did_ you make him purple and black?" Skywarp asked. "You know I was constantly teased for being those colors growing up."

"Honestly, I wasn't sure you would forgive me, so I picked your color scheme in my grief-stricken state. But more than that, I think your colors are exotic and lovely. Everyone in Vos was red, yellow or blue, which was so boring. You stand out. I wanted him to be just as attractive." Thundercracker smiled as he gazed at the sparkling still struggling with Skywarp's hand on his head.

Skywarp faintly shook his head at his mate. Nearly everyone he grew up with associated his coloring with the poor simulation-junkie creators that made him. Of course _Thundercracker _would see it differently. He always seemed to view the world around them in a totally different light.

"I actually already thought of a name while you were offline. Wanna hear it?" Skywarp asked as he finally lifted his hand off the sparkling's helm.

Thundercracker glanced back at him and nodded.

"What do you think of Lightningbolt?" He paused waiting for the impact of his suggestion to hit Thundercracker, but his only response was to simply shift his gaze back to their sparkling. Skywarp then felt the need to elaborate. "'Cause, I was thinking then I could call him LB and you could call him Bolt." Skywarp's wings perked up on his back as he gently squeezed Thundercracker's hand. He had actually spent quite some time thinking of the name and desperately hoped his mate would like it.

"Lightningbolt," Thundercracker repeated with a small smile before looking back at Skywarp. "I think that's perfect."

Skywarp couldn't quite shake his fear off completely, but once again Thundercracker's unrelenting love seemed to help him have the strength to hold it at bay. Primus, he loved his mate in such an intense way. His processor couldn't quite wrap its way around just how deep and powerful the overflowing love they shared within their sparks really was. He glanced back at their newly named sparkling, Lightningbolt, who made happy little noises as Thundercracker lightly ran his fingertips over his tiny frame. Their love had literally created a new life, and now Skywarp was part of a _real family_. He resolved in that moment to do his best to not let the fear rule his thoughts anymore, placing all his trust in Thundercracker to lead them to a better life.

o o o o

Thundercracker walked just behind Skywarp. They were being moved back to their special quarters after two Earth days in medbay. His mate carried their sparkling, which was a sight that filled Thundercracker with a deep joy he had never felt before. Thundercracker was looking forward to getting back to the larger and more private space. The tiny medbay room had felt crowded now that there were three of them, and the medic was constantly in and out since he still had some supplies stashed in the room. They didn't cross paths with any of the Autobot crew in their travels, since it was well into the second shift and later at night. No guards escorted them, only the medic. It appeared they had somehow earned a bit more trust from their hosts.

Walking in with Ratchet, they both spied a small-sized berth with clear walls set up in the corner of the room. Skywarp walked directly over to it. Thundercracker followed his mate towards the new addition of furniture. They both gazed down at the array of toys carefully placed on the sparkling-sized berth.

"Wow, look at all that," Skywarp said.

"I apologize if Wheeljack went a little overboard," Ratchet said from the doorway.

Thundercracker looked back at the medic. He could see a touch of sadness in Ratchet's expression. "Please tell him we appreciate the generous gifts."

Ratchet nodded. "I will do that."

Skywarp lowered their sparkling down to the berth's surface. "Look at all this neat stuff." His mate kneeled beside the berth and picked up a small model plane, flying it around Lightningbolt's head. Their sparkling squealed with delight while flailing his arms in an attempt to grab it.

Thundercracker noticed the medic trying to slip out without saying anything more. "Going?"

Ratchet turned to look at him, his optics brightening. "I should let you two settle in."

"Perhaps after a day or two, you would be kind enough to look after Lightningbolt so Warp and I could have some time alone," Thundercracker said as he half smiled at the medic.

Ratchet's posture straightened. "I could certainly do that."

'I don't want slaggin' Autobots around LB!' Skywarp protested over their bond.

'And here I was thinking I would be the overprotective one.' Thundercracker gave his mate a sideways glance as he frowned a little.

Skywarp sourly frowned back before he shifted his gaze to Ratchet. "Yeah, you can watch him."

Ratchet's sad expression softened as he smiled. "If you need anything else use the intercom."

Thundercracker nodded in reply as Ratchet moved to leave.

Suddenly, a base alarm sounded.

Instinctively, both Thundercracker and Skywarp moved to grab for the sparkling. Skywarp was closer and snatched him up first, holding him close.

"What the frag is that?" Skywarp snapped angrily.

Thundercracker placed a hand on Lightningbolt's back and patted him in a reassuring manner. Tiny crimson optics burned brightly as the sparkling pressed against Skywarp and slightly trembled. Thundercracker could see the blaring sound from the alarm was distressing for Lightningbolt, but he wondered if their jump into protective action had also heightened the anxiety level for their young sparkling.

He turned his attention to Ratchet, giving him a dark glare. "Is the base is under attack?"

Ratchet grimaced. "I–" His optics brightened as he averted his gaze for a moment. He looked like he was listening in on a comm. line. "Apparently your _friend_ Starscream is outside–Look, Prowl wouldn't want me saying anything, so please just sit tight and let us handle it." Without giving them time to respond, Ratchet quickly exited the locked room.

The alarm stopped blaring moments after the medic escaped, although a set of red lights above the doorway continued to flash.

Starscream was here? _Alone_? Had their trineleader finally figured out where he and Skywarp had run off to? Thundercracker felt an odd tug within his spark. He had never intended to rip their trine apart and a touch of guilt rolled through him.

"Starscream? What's that slagger doing here?" Skywarp furrowed his brow at Thundercracker. "Keh. Serves him right to get his aft handed to him by the Autobots."

The last thing Thundercracker wanted was for the Autobots to twist Starscream into scrap. Certainly not before he got a chance to tell their leader what he honestly thought of him. He didn't know what Starscream's motives were in coming here, but he did know that he needed to put an end to things between them once and for all. Stop any future attempts by their trineleader to interfere with his plans by formally disbanding their trine. "Warp, teleport me outside."

"What?" Skywarp's optics brightened as a shocked look played across his face. "No way! What if Screamer or the Autobots hurt you? I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I _need_ you!"

Thundercracker smiled at his mate. "I promise I will come back in one piece."

Skywarp looked unsure as narrowed his optics and his lips curved down into a pouted frown.

"I need to set things straight and finally tell that self-absorbed glitch what I think of him. _Please_, Warp."

Holding Lightningbolt up a little higher against his chest Skywarp narrowed his optics. "Promise LB you'll be back in one piece, too."

He shifted his gaze to the sparkling, then leaned forward and placed a kiss to the top of Lightningbolt's helm. Leaning back, he lightly traced his fingertips down their sparkling's cheek. "I promise I will be back in one piece, Bolt." Lightningbolt looked concerned. For being only a few days old, he was already very expressive. His face easily gave away his feelings, much like his mate's often did.

The promise to their sparkling seemed to be enough of an assurance for Skywarp, who moved over to the small berth and carefully set Lightningbolt down. "Be right back. You stay put," Skywarp said to Lightningbolt before he stood up and spun around to face Thundercracker again. "All right. Let's go."

Hugging close to one another, Thundercracker tried to prepare himself for the uncomfortable shift through his mate's warp gate. He looked back over at their sparkling, which served to help to strengthen his revolve. He needed to do this for Lightningbolt as much he did for himself and Skywarp. His goal to not let their sparkling know a life filled with war or violence meant being as proactive as possible.

"Be sure to punch him in the jaw for me," Skywarp said as smirked. The warp gate then opened, and they moved through it.

On the other side, Thundercracker felt the joints in his knees go slack as his systems lurched trying to compensate for the sudden shift through space. Skywarp held fast, not allowing him to fall and chuckling a little.

Thundercracker play punched his mate in the arm in response. He assessed the area as his systems quickly stabilized and he saw Skywarp had put them on the roof of the Autobot base. They could both hear their trineleader's screeching and the shouts of Autobots echoing into the dark night. He looked back at Skywarp and cupped his mate's face before he planted a brief kiss to those perfect lips. Pulling back they stared deeply into one another's optics, each allowing their love to pass through their bond.

"Don't you _dare _break your promise," Skywarp said as he gave Thundercracker a pointed look.

"I won't." Thundercracker grinned. "Take care of Bolt."

Skywarp nodded, then stepped back and disappeared from sight.

Thundercracker made his way toward the roof's edge. Below Starscream stood with the small black and white Autobot clutched tight against himself as a shield. He recognized the Autobot in peril as Prowl. He glanced around at the other Autobots collected near the entrance with their weapons drawn. Optimus Prime, the old warrior named Ironhide, the small silver gunner, and those fragging twin Lamborghinis that loved torturing him and his trinemates during battle all stood around ready for a fight if it came to that.

"I know they're here! Turn them over to me at once!" Starscream said in his grating, shrill voice. Thundercracker detected a touch of desperation in it.

"We do not have your wingmates here as prisoners. Please release Prowl," Optimus Prime said as he took a cautious step forward. The light from the entrance of the _Ark_ cast his sizable shadow outward almost reaching where Starscream and his hostage stood at the very edge of the illuminated area. Thundercracker found it fascinating that Prime had so carefully chosen his words, using semantics to try and reason with Starscream. What he didn't know about their trineleader was that he was highly intelligent. No way in Pit he came here without being almost positive about his conclusion regarding their whereabouts.

"We outta rip his wings off and make ourselves a new lounge table!" the red Lamborghini shouted.

"Go ahead and try! I will have your precious crewmate's head ripped off before you even get within range of me!" Starscream taunted back.

"Like you'd have the bearin's to do that!" Ironhide shouted.

Prime lifted an arm outward. "Enough," he said in a stern, commanding tone.

Enough was right. Thundercracker needed to separate Starscream from the hostage and fly them someplace where they could properly 'talk'. He initiated his heel jets and flew out and over the gathered group, landing behind Starscream. He grabbed each of the arm-mounted null rays and ripped them off.

"What the frag?" Starscream yelled as he half turned around, dragging Prowl with him. "Thundercracker! You insubordinate glitched aft—"

"Shove it in your turbine!" Thundercracker shouted back. "Let that Autobot go."

The hand Starscream had wound around Prowl's neck tightened. "You _defected?_ You are one of _them?_" Starscream shouted. His voice upped in pitch, cutting through the night air sharply.

"Primus, you are a moron sometimes." Thundercracker replied as he shook his head. "Let that Autobot go. _Now._"

"Why the frag would I do that?" Starscream's hand squeezed his hostage's throat hard and an audible whine escaped Prowl's vocalizer. How many Autobots or Decepticons had been beaten, twisted into scrap, or killed all because of Megatron's sick desire to rule? They were all once Cybertronians. No sides to define themselves by. No fighting required. Thundercracker felt anger well deep inside him at the sight before him. His optics focused on Prowl's look of determination, then shifted back to Starscream, who looked desperate. There was no need for this violence. He knew in that moment he was stronger than the bonds that bound him to this war. His deep desire for something more than petty, useless fighting fueled his inner strength, giving him the power to change things and free himself along with his family from this sick game in which no side ever really 'won'.

Step one to his ultimate happiness and freedom: break his oath to Starscream.

In a flash he snapped Starscream's null ray onto one of his upper arms, then turned it on his trineleader. The barrel end rested just under Starscream's right optic. "Let him _go_." Unlike Prime, Thundercracker knew Starscream would respond to a bodily threat.

"You are going to pay for your insolence!" Starscream tossed Prowl to the ground beside them and lunged at Thundercracker who easily side-stepped the predicable move. He detached the null ray and threw both weapons at Prowl just before Starscream tackled him to the ground.

They struggled, flailing around with jabs and punches in the darkness until eventually Thundercracker managed to wrap an arm around Starscream's neck, holding him in a headlock.

"Let me go!" Starscream screeched.

"Thundrcracker, let go of your wingmate. I will not allow you to engage in a fight here." Optimus Prime stood over them with his large weapon aimed at them.

_Don't you dare break your promise. _He stared at the barrel of the gun and shifted Starscream over himself as a shield. "This is between us. _Stay out of it._"

Starscream struggled fruitlessly. Stellar cycles of wrestling with Skywarp had suddenly paid off and Thundercracker couldn't stop himself from smirking at the sight of Starscream so utterly helpless.

"You have been granted sanctuary here. But you are a Decepticon and could be passing vital information to the second in command of the Decepticon army. I _cannot _stand by and allow further contact between you." Prime's optics burned extra bright, apparently trying to relay just how serious he was.

"Thundercracker! Have you lost your fragging mind?" Starscream squirmed as he dug his fingers into Thundercracker's forearm trying to get him to let go. "Prime! I swear to Primus he's not transmitting anything! Please! Lower your weapon!"

Thundercracker shifted to his knees, pulling Starscream with him. He narrowed his optics on the Autobot leader. "I am _no longer a Decepticon_," he said, seething. "I have spent the majority of my adult life fighting an endless war _and for what?_ I know I initially joined in the war to avenge the death of the one mech that meant the world to me. But that was so many stellar cycles ago that even my memory files from then have faded at this point. I don't want any part of this insanity anymore! What no one seems to understand is that I don't give a _frag about factions_. Both sides are wrong to keep fighting like this. Our homeworld is in shambles, and it's only a matter of time before this planet ends up just like it!" Thundercracker pushed to feet, dragging Starscream with him. "I am done playing a game without winners. I am done risking my life for others. Housed inside your base is my future. I will fight for _that_ and _that_ alone!" Thundercracker's his fiery passion and deepest thoughts that he had held in for long had exploded out of him in a torrent of words. He had never said what he thought so openly before. It felt incredible to finally let go of the fear and be his true self.

Starscream had stopped struggling as Thundercracker spoke, and Prime lowered his weapon as he finished. Both seemed to be affected by his words. He found himself a little surprised at their reactions. Perhaps there was room for reasoning after all...

"Do you plan on harming your wingmate or possibly deactivating him?" Prime finally asked.

"No," Thundercracker replied somewhat sourly.

Starscream had grown oddly quiet in addition to no longer struggling.

"And you? Do you plan on punishing your former wingmate?" Prime asked Starscream.

"As if I'd answer to likes of you! This is my subordinate, and I will deal with him as I see fit," Starscream spat out. That was more like the Starscream he knew.

"I can handle myself with him," Thundercracker replied.

Prime suddenly looked worried. "Maybe so. But I don't want to see you throw your newfound life away over settling a score. Perhaps you two could discuss things inside the base."

"I think that is a much more viable solution that flying off into the night and possibly not being able to return to what is important to you." Prowl stepped forward with a pair of stasis cuffs in hand.

Starscream weakly struggled, but Thundercracker could tell it was more for show than anything else. "On two conditions: No one interrupts or interferes with us while we are 'talking,' and you let Starscream _leave_ afterward."

"Agreed." Prime motioned for Prowl to lock Starscream in the cuffs.

"You've got to be fragging kidding me!" the yellow Lamborghini whined from the doorway to the _Ark_.

With a quick flick, Prowl snapped the cuffs in place.

Thundercracker leaned close to Starscream's audio receptor. "Don't you even think about fragging this up for me. Got it_?_"

Starscream twisted his head slightly and their optics met. To Thundercracker's surprise, he didn't see defiance in his air commander's optics.

He saw...a begrudging respect.

_This should be an interesting conversation_, Thundercracker thought.

* * *

_A/N- Thank you everyone for all the favs, alerts, reviews and feedback! It's good to know that this story is enjoyable to others. Sorry for the long delay in getting this up. With real life kicking my ass __, it's been hard to get this one finished. It looks like there are 2 more chapters left and this story will be at it's end point. I'm excited and a little sad, too. I hope you all hang in there with me for the final installments. As always your helpful feedback is very much welcome in the form of reviews! Thank you for being loyal readers!  
_


	9. True Strength

Title: Regardless – True Strength

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: M (sticky-interfacing, spark-bonding)

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker winds up accidentally sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that he might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119._

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead. I like this part of "War" by the Cardigans for this chapter:

_"__Please, I'm almost done  
don't retreat  
I've loaded my gun  
with blood, with...__"_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

The door to a small conference room Thundercracker and Starscream were escorted to slid shut. Prime informed them before his departure that guards were posted outside and Starscream would remain cuffed for the duration of his visit.

Thundercracker shifted his gaze from the closed door to his air commander. Starscream plopped down onto a chair and pointedly looked away from Thundercracker, opting to remain silent.

"The silent treatment? That's mature. I think we are a little old to act like sparklings, wouldn't you agree?" Thundercracker walked over and sat on the tabletop beside Starscream.

"Interesting choice of words," Starscream said looking back at him with narrowed optics.

"Oh?" Thundercracker asked, feigning innocence.

"I am not stupid."

"I never said you were." Thundercracker crossed his arms over his chest.

"After Skywarp _also_ disappeared I finally figured out what happened. There are only two reasons for purging one's fuel tank. " Starscream canted his head to one side and smiled smugly. "I honestly never thought that you'd do something as stupid as bond to Skywarp, let alone get yourself sparked."

"I disagree. I think bonding to Skywarp one of the wisest choices I've ever made." Thundercracker smiled broadly. "I was finally able to fight off my depression once I committed myself to him. I woke up, as it were."

"Keh! Right! Careening out of control is more like it." Starscream shook his head disapprovingly as he glanced down at the conference table. "So…did you already have the sparkling? I mean, otherwise I doubt you would have been so bold as to attack me."

"Yes."

"What colors did you pick?" Starscream asked, still refusing to look up.

"He looks like Warp."

"Idiots," Starscream grumbled. "There are already only a handful of surviving seekers, and you make yours the same colors as Skywarp? He's not even a set of traditional colors!" Starscream finally looked back up at Thundercracker.

"If you hate it so much, make your own sparkling," Thundercracker replied dryly.

Starscream made a derisive sound as he frowned. "He's healthy, I take it?"

"What do you care?" Thundercracker suddenly found Starscream's interest disconcerting. "You've never given a frag about us. Left us to die to save your own sorry aft but then expected me to come collect your dismantled corpse each time you decided to pick a fight with Megatron. You maybe the trineleader, but I've been the one holding this trine together!"

Starscream's optics dimmed. "You have."

Thundercracker was sure he misheard. "_What?_"

"You have been the one that kept us together." Starscream furrowed his brow as looked away again. "I really thought you would leave after we lost Firestorm. I have no idea why you stayed. Not that it matters. There are a lot of things about you I don't understand and have simply accepted over the stellar cycles. But I now see why you started acting out more and more. I noticed how you were focusing on Skywarp's well-being over mine. _Not_ that I wanted you to treat me like a youngling that needed a caretaker, but what worried me is exactly what happened. You pulled apart our trine because of your soft-sparked feelings for him." Starscream's words were biting, yet edged with sadness.

"I swore my loyalty to you back when I had nothing else. Before stellar cycles of violence took over our lives. I chose Warp and our sparkling over you and my long-ago promise of loyalty. That _is_ true. Thing is, I don't regret it. Soft-sparked or not, it's what I want. It's what I _need_."

"You are _almost_ as self-centered as me," Starscream said with a laugh as he glanced back at Thundercracker. "I rather like this version of you, despite the destructive side effects."

Thundercracker raised an optic ridge at Starscream, unsure if he should take it as a compliment or not. "Why are you here, anyway? What do you want with us?"

"I suppose I just wanted to hear directly that you've chosen to destroy this trine." Starscream shook his head as a weary-looking smile pulled at his lips. "You know, after all these stellar cycles you have proven time and time again that you deserve a place beside me. You are an extremely skilled flier and formidable in battle. I suppose I took that loyalty you bestowed upon me for granted as time passed." Starscream's optics dimmed slightly. "This is the end of an era, isn't it?"

"No. It's the start of a new life."

"For you and Skywarp. _Not for me_." Starscream's wings sagged slightly.

It was then Thundercracker realized how much he and Skywarp actually did mean to Starscream. Even though he hadn't said so outright, it was clear that he felt left out and abandoned by what had happened. That was why he was here, even if he couldn't admit it verbally. His actions and the implications of his words spoke volumes.

"Why not chose a different path for yourself? Why bother trying? Why argue your points with that megalomaniac? Don't tell me you actually _care_ about him." Thundercracker deeply frowned as he spoke.

Starscream laughed in a hollow, self-mocking tone. "Please! I only argue and pick fights to irritate him. I don't care if he listens or not."

"And what does that accomplish? Other than getting yourself slagged? Aren't you sick of it? Aren't you fed up with being second in command to that sorry excuse for a mech?"

"Oh yes, I should just overthrow him. How right you are, my dear Thundercracker. Why don't I just do that already?" Starscream's voice dripped with his venomous sarcasm. "Oh! I remember why! One shot from that fusion cannon and I'd be obliterated." Starscream's optics narrowed as he deeply frowned back at Thundercracker.

That was Starscream's true weakness. Along with his intelligence came a very clear understanding of consequences. That bred his fear of death, which kept him from risking everything for what he truly wanted. Thundercracker knew he'd risk his own life, even sacrifice it, to create a better future for his sparkling.

"Tell me, how do you plan on raising your sparkling if you prefer to extricate yourself from factions?" Starscream asked. "I don't really see that being a viable option for the two of you."

"We are getting off this dirtball planet. Find someplace peaceful to raise him."

Starscream started to laugh. "I think being sparked made you delusional!"

Anger bubbled up from deep within as Thundercracker clenched his fists. "Shut up, fragger!"

"Oh, please! Here you are telling me to stand up to Megatron when your grand plan is to run away? I find the hypocrisy very amusing." Starscream shook his head at Thundercracker.

The anger quickly receded as Starscream's words hit him. On one hand, his former air commander was absolutely right. How was running away going to set them free? His processor replayed the last few days of their fully formed family and time together. He wanted a life with his mate and offspring and promised to not leave Skywarp behind. Still, would it end up being a life on the run where their sparkling would have only them and no playmates? Was that really any better? On the other hand, he also knew Starscream was purposely twisting his words around in order to gain the upper hand and take back some measure of control as the leader of their trine. Thundercracker decided he wouldn't give up his newfound power so easily.

"Don't want to be a hypocrite, hm?" Starscream leaned back in the chair as best he could with his arms cuffed behind him, arrogantly smiling.

Thundercracker gave him a cold glare. "I know you are trying to manipulate me. It just hadn't really occurred to me that if I helped you, we might actually be able to dethrone the dictator."

Starscream sat forward, his optics flashing brightly. "You're serious about overthrowing Megatron? You know it would have to be all three of us if we were try it. You and I alone couldn't overpower him."

"I realize that. But even if I managed to convince Warp to help and we succeeded, then what? You'd be the new faction leader? Thing is, I don't want any more factions. No more war. I don't want our sparkling to know this kind of life."

"You honestly expect me to end the war? You really _have_ lost it!" Starscream fell back against the chair again with an exasperated-sounding sigh from his intakes.

"In a lot of ways, you and Megatron are very similar. Both obsessed with power, both egocentric, both narcissistic. There is one trait that sets you apart, though. He rules through the destruction of everything that stands in his way. You, on the other hand, would build and create monuments in your honor to cement your place in history. Despite the fact you drive me crazy and test my last shreds of patience _all the fragging time_, I still think you'd make a better leader since you have a tendency to create, not destroy." Thundercracker leaned closer and locked his gaze with Starscream's. "If you want my help to overthrow Megatron the price is bringing a peaceful end to this war."

Starscream's optics dimmed as he furrowed his brow. "Negotiate with Autobots? Bow down to that oversized oaf, Prime? I would never—"

"Then I won't help you." Thundercracker pushed to his feet and stood poised to walk away. "Last chance to change your mind."

"Never! The Autobots are inferior!" Starscream shouted as he sat forward in his seat.

"Fine. You can go back to Megatron and eventually die at his hands the next time he loses his temper and I'm not there to pick up the pieces." Thundercracker moved toward the door.

"Wait!"

Pausing mid-stride, he glanced over his shoulder at Starscream. His trineleader's wings faintly quivered on his back as his optics surged brightly.

"What about a cease fire, instead of dissolving factions? If we remove Megatron from power, then I would be willing to negotiate a peace treaty as the new leader."

That wasn't a bad deal, all things considered. Thundercracker half-smiled at Starscream. "That might be acceptable."

"But it has to be all three of us."

"I'll talk to Warp about it and let you know." Thundercracker reached out, ready to knock on the door to let the guards know they were done.

"Let me know? _How?_ You expect me to risk my aft and come back here again?" Starscream said in his usual shrill voice.

"There is a secret comm. frequency Warp and I used to use. Soundwave can't track it. We'll contact you on it." Thundercracker then lightly knocked on the door. "Just be sure to not get slagged before we get back to you."

"You really are an aft, you know that?" Starscream shifted to stand, and even with his hands cuffed managed to strike a haughty pose.

"Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment."

The door whooshed open, swiftly ending their conversation.

o o o o

Ratchet carefully examined just about every inch of Thundercracker's frame. He maintained a dirty look directed at the medic throughout entire examination. Optimus Prime had insisted Thundercracker be checked over after releasing Starscream into the night. Although he claimed it was to make sure there had been no damage from the fight, he suspected they also wanted to be sure he hadn't been bugged in his time alone with Starscream. Yet another facet of a faction-based war: no matter how much trust he or Skywarp earned, they would always be seen as enemies until there was no longer a reason left to fight.

"Just scrapes and minor dents, nothing major," Ratchet finally concluded.

"I could have told you that." Thundercracker deeply frowned as he crossed his arms over his chest. "This was completely unnecessary."

Ratchet rubbed the back of his helm as he forced a small smile. "I have to follow orders."

"Hm." Thundercracker faintly shook his head disapprovingly. "He didn't stick a transmitter on me. And don't lie. I know that is what you were checking for."

Ratchet moved to cross his arms over his boxy chest as a genuine smile spread across his lips. "Like I said, I am following orders. But I _did_ also want to make sure you weren't badly injured in your little brawl."

Thundercracker raised an optic ridge at the medic.

"So, I heard you spoke your mind earlier, that you don't consider yourself a Decepticon anymore. Is that true?" Ratchet asked.

"Both sides are wrong, in my opinion." Long before even bonding to Skywarp, that had been his personal opinion about the war. He just hadn't been courageous enough until now to say it out loud. In fact, his belief felt stronger than ever after his conversation with Starscream. An end to the war would really be the best possible outcome to ensure his sparkling's future. He knew if he did wind up helping Starscream, both he and Skywarp could very well be deactivated, and that would mean Lighteningbolt would be left alone. That thought weighed heavily on his spark. Risk it all to ensure their offspring had a life free of the burden of war, _or_ go on the run and do their best to shield him from it. Both options posed their own set of problems. He knew only talking to Skywarp about it would help him know what the right choice should be.

A hand waved in front of him, breaking Thundercracker's concentration on his inner thoughts. He refocused his gaze on Ratchet. "Did your processor freeze? You all right?" the medic asked in a joking manner.

"I have a lot on my mind." Thundercracker canted his head. There was something about Ratchet he had been wondering, and he finally decided he may as well as ask while he had a moment alone with him. "May I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure. Can't promise I'll answer, though," Ratchet replied.

"Fair enough." Thundercracker smiled at the cantankerous medic. "Have you and your bondmate been trying to have a sparkling of your own?"

Ratchet's optics flared brightly with his apparent surprise. "Yes, we have. How did you–It's just that… No one else knows."

Thundercracker softly sighed air from his intakes. "Little things that added up, that's all. Started with your comment about how some bonded pairs aren't compatible, and then the extra attention you treated me with while I was carrying and all the kind gifts your mate left for Lighteningbolt. I just wondered if that was the root."

The medic looked down at the floor, his posture deflating slightly as his shoulders sunk forward. "I guess Jack went a little overboard with the gifts. He spoils Miles the same way, but it's just because he loves sparklings. He's wanted one for a long time. Being the chief medical officer means that if I were the one to end up sparked, things would get extremely complicated. We have tried, but not as vigorously as we probably should for successful sparking." Ratchet then gave Thundercracker a very serious look. "The 'extra care' I treated you with has nothing to do with that, though. I may be gruff or harsh with the younger mechs, but only to be sure they know their actions have consequences. I treated you and will continue to treat you with the respect you deserve. Decepticon or not, in the end we are all Cybertronians." Ratchet sadly frowned. "Your choice and bravery in the face of everything standing in your way is exceedingly rare, and I deeply respect you for that."

Thundercracker found himself dumbstruck by the medic's candor. Realization hit him hard as it became crystal clear that peace wouldn't simply mean a better life for his family. It would mean a better life for all Cybertronians caught up in this mess of a war.

A desire for a better life wasn't his alone.

"Thank you… for everything," Thundercracker replied.

Ratchet smiled as he nodded. "Anytime."

Ratchet escorted Thundercracker through the halls, returning him to the specially- assigned quarters. Nodding quick farewells, Thundercracker walked in to find Skywarp sitting beside the small, sparkling-sized berth. His mate flashed him a smile before his optics darted over his scuffed frame. "Not much of a fight, huh? I mess you up worse when we wrestle."

A broad smile pulled at Thundercracker's lips. "You know Screamer. He's not really one to fully engage in a fight." He walked over to Skywarp and took a seat beside him on the floor. His gaze quickly settled on their sparkling deeply recharging with the toy plane clutched in one arm. "Has he been recharging long?"

"A breem or so. When I came back he was crying. It took a while to calm him back down," Skywarp reported casually. "So what happened? What did Screamer want, anyway?"

"We got into the scuffle, then Prime stepped in and had us come back inside where we were allowed to speak to one another alone in one of their conference rooms." Thundercracker snaked an arm around Skywarp's waist. "Apparently, he wanted me to know he figured out we were bonded and that I had gotten sparked. And, although he didn't say it, I think he's hurt we ran off on him."

Skywarp laughed. "What an idiot! That's what he gets for being such an aft to us."

Unable to help himself, Thundercracker laughed too. "I suppose that _is_ true."

"That was it? He risked his neck to come here for _that?_" Skywarp asked.

Thundercracker met his mate's gaze. "We actually talked about overthrowing Megatron."

Skywarp's optics flared brightly. "You what? _Why?_"

Sighing air from his intake, Thundercracker tried to wrap his processor around the complicated decision they faced and how best to explain it to Skywarp. "We have two options. Either we leave Earth and never look back, while doing our best to shield Bolt from this never-ending war, or we stand and fight one last time to take down Megatron, which would lead to a new era of peace that he could grow up in."

"But…if Megatron isn't in charge, that means Starscream would be. How is that a peaceful ending?" Skywarp narrowed his optics as he asked.

"Because he knows I'll slag him, otherwise." Thundercracker held his mate's gaze as he smugly smiled. "I told him in no uncertain terms that's the price for our help: a ceasefire between factions."

Skywarp looked back over at their sparkling and grew very quiet.

It wasn't exactly the reaction Thundercracker expected. He felt all the joints and cables in his body start to tense as he waited for Skywarp to say something, _anything_ in response. Finally he prodded his mate. "Warp?"

"We might die if we fight Megatron. Then LB would be all alone." Skywarp continued to stare at their sparkling as he furrowed his brow.

Thundercracker gently squeezed Skywarp. "That's an outside possibility. Both options have huge flaws. Thing is, I would fight until my last spark pulse to ensure a good future for Bolt. Yet, at the same time, I want to do what will make _you_ happy. That's why I told Starscream we'd get back to him with our decision. I refused to agree to help him until I talked to you."

"You honestly think Starscream would do what you ask?" Skywarp asked.

"I do."

"You believe we could pull it off if all three of us fought together?" Skywarp looked back at Thundercracker and sharply focused his optics on him.

"Yes."

"I would rather die with you than live without you," Skywarp said quietly.

Thundercracker stared at his mate as those words seemed to resonate deep within his spark.

Skywarp's concerned look faded as his usual easy-going smile curved his pale lips. "I trust you. If you think we can do it, then I _know_ we can."

"Warp…"

"Besides, we have something to fight for. We'd be doing it for Bolt. And I couldn't think of anything I'd rather fight harder for." Skywarp's smile widened into a grin. "All my life everyone else has told me what to do, but now we are in control of things. I want to make it so _no one_ can tell us what to do anymore. That _we _get to decide_._"

Thundercracker felt Skywarp push a surge of love and trust over their bond, which he mirrored. The world didn't have a place for them and what they wanted, so why not reshape it to suit them? Just because they loved each other didn't mean they were weak. Stellar cycles of being repressed and forced to act like mindless, emotionless warriors was at an end. Together they were stronger. He doubted anyone could stand against them, even Megatron. It was time to take back their lives lost. Time to stand up for what _they _wanted: a better life for Lightningbolt as well as for themselves.

"Then we'll fight," Thundercracker replied.

"Slag yeah, we will." Skywarp playfully shoved Thundercracker's shoulder.

Smiling, Thundercracker returned the shove even harder, nearly knocking over Skywarp. With a mischievous grin, Skywarp swiftly moved to tackle Thundercracker down to the floor and started to jab at his sides. They rolled around wrestling one another. Skywarp flipped onto his back, and Thundercracker accidentally elbowed one of his mate's wings.

"Watch it!" Skywarp snapped.

Thundercracker shifted his weight off the arm and moved in close to inspect the area of impact. "It's not even dented."

"Still hurt," Skywarp replied, pouting.

"Want me to kiss it better?" Thundercracker teased before he leaned down to press his lips to the dark wing. Skywarp's whole body faintly shivered in response. The playful mood instantly shifted, and Thundercracker couldn't help himself as he began to softly mouth the smooth surface of his mate's wing. It had been several deca-orns since they had been able to spark merge, and Thundercracker could feel his spark surging in its chamber, pushing to reunite with the glowing warmth of his mate's spark.

"We haven't merged in so long," Skywarp groaned softly.

Apparently he wasn't the only one whose processor had instantly segued into wanting to spark merge.

"Hee!" Lightningbolt's voice cut through the air as he started to giggle.

They both glanced over at the small berth to see their sparkling standing up, pressed against the clear sidewall smiling brightly at them.

"Aww, what a cute little mood-killer you are," Skywarp commented.

"Maybe we should see if Ratchet would be willing to watch him tomorrow," Thundercracker said with a little laugh as shifted to sit up.

Skywarp nodded as he sat himself up, while rubbing at his cockpit's glassy surface. "I think my spark might break through my chest if we don't spark merge soon."

"Mine, too," Thundercracker replied as he rested a hand over his own chest, feeling his spark swell within its chamber at the mere thought.

Thundercracker realized they had been so focused on their sparkling that interfacing and spark merging hadn't even crossed his mind since the separation. He watched as his beautiful mate moved to the side of their sparkling's berth and started to play with him. Thundercracker suddenly felt a deep sense of longing to reaffirm their bond to one another. He decided that first thing tomorrow, he'd contact Ratchet.

o o o o

"Where is he?" Ratchet mumbled to himself over the sobs of the sparkling in his arms. He glanced down at Lightningbolt. His optics were glassy and his face stained with tears of coolant as he continued to cry and flail around in Ratchet's grip.

When the intercom sounded earlier in the morning, Ratchet hadn't been the least bit surprised by Thundercracker's somewhat urgent-sounding request to watch their sparkling. He still vividly remembered the night Jazz showed up with Miles, rousing him from a recharge cycle, and begged Ratchet to look after him for a few hours. In golden times, a family had the luxury of spacious homes with multiple rooms, but on a space ship they only had small one-room cabins that lacked the privacy a bonded pair with a sparkling truly needed. Oftentimes bonded pairs, or at least pairs who truly loved each other and weren't bonded for an economical or political arrangement, would be hit with an overwhelming desire to spark merge once the sparkling came.

Ratchet didn't mind watching Lightningbolt; in fact he had been looking forward to it. Despite the crying and the clearly agitated state of the sparkling in his arms, he felt honored to be the one asked to look after him. Thundercracker proved to be nothing like the sparkless monsters Ratchet often viewed Deceptions as. The seeker was gruff, but no more so than Ratchet knew he could be himself. Over the course of the last few Earth weeks, he had grown to respect and even like Thundercracker.

Gently, Ratchet swept his thumb down one of Lightningbolt's cheeks, wiping away the wet coolant that had coated it. "I know I am not one of your creators, but I'm not half-bad if you give me a chance, I promise," Ratchet said with a small smile as he gazed at Lighteningbolt's tiny crimson optics.

The door to his shared quarters whooshed open, revealing Wheeljack with a large container in his hands. "Hey there!" Wheeljack's blast mask retracted as he proceeded into the room, unfazed by the crying.

"So what was the hold up?" Ratchet asked.

"Oh, I was putting the finishing touches on this." Wheeljack set the container down on the floor and started to pull pieces out, dropping them into a pile. "I've got something I think you'll like, Lighteningbolt."

"Look, Bolt, he brought you junk!" Ratchet said with a laugh.

The sparkling paused in his cries and glanced down at Wheeljack.

"Don't listen to him." Wheeljack grinned as he started to arrange the pieces from the pile, clicking them together.

Ratchet sat down on the small couch beside the impromptu work area. Lightningbolt stopped crying and curled up against the boxy shape of Ratchet's chest, watching Wheeljack intently. "You certainly have his attention now."

"Heh. Sparklings as young as him need to have their processors occupied when not in the presence of their creators. It's good for development and keeps them focused on something other than missing their parents." Wheeljack knew a lot about sparklings and their care since he had volunteered for an orphanage back on Cybertron in his off duty hours early in the war. "It's a good sign he's so attached to them. Means they are doing a good job so far." Wheeljack glanced up at Lightningbolt. "Looks like he might need some energon; his optics are a little dim."

Ratchet gently lifted Lightningbolt's head up so he could see, and sure enough they were dimmed. "Use up what they fed ya on crying, huh?"

"I'll prep the cube," Wheeljack said excitedly as he hopped to his feet and crossed to the table beside the door. Ratchet watched his mate carefully pour the ultra-pure energon from its regular container into a specially shaped conical one.

Seeing Wheeljack so happily filling the role of a creator made Ratchet wish things were different. In truth, Ratchet had been holding back during their attempts out of fear. For one, raising a sparkling on a base in the middle of a war certainly posed all sorts of problems. Jazz and Mirage were doing all right so far, but as Thundercracker had pointed out, at some point Miles would understand the danger his parents were constantly putting themselves in. Aside from that, there was no predicting who would get sparked, and that could lead all sorts of complications for either of them. Still...all those reasons aside, just imagining a little Wheeljack running around made his spark swell in its chamber. If only the war didn't taint every aspect of their lives.

Wheeljack spun on his heel and walked back over with the energon in hand. Ratchet pulled away from his thoughts and smiled as he took the special-shaped energon container offered to him. Shifting Lightningbolt to lay on his back in the crook of his arm, Ratchet tipped the pointed end of the conical container toward the nestled sparkling. Lightningbolt immediately grabbed at it, wrapped his mouth over the end, and began to eagerly suck down the fuel. In his new, calmer state, he focused on Ratchet, staring up at him with a look of deep concentration.

"You trying to memorize my face?" Ratchet asked the sparkling.

"I'm sure he is, now that he knows you'll feed him," Wheeljack said with a laugh.

Ratchet faintly shook his head at Wheeljack as he gazed down at Lightningbolt. He was so small and fragile. No matter how many times Ratchet held a sparkling, he was always left in awe. From a pulsing light on a spark scan to a new life among them... Another being to that would grow and think and decide how to be. It was incredible, really.

"Okay! All set up," Wheeljack announced.

Lightningbolt pushed away the almost-emptied container and twisted in Ratchet's grasp in an attempt to see Wheeljack. "Whoa!" Ratchet tried to wrangle the wriggling sparkling while trying to not spill the remainder of energon. Wheeljack came to his rescue, plucking the container out of his hand. Ratchet was able to shift Lightningbolt around, despite his squirming, and set him down on his small pedes. To be sure the sparkling didn't go running off, Ratchet kept a firm hold of him by the waist.

Lightningbolt stilled briefly, staring at the new toy.

On the floor sat a roadway play set much like the one Wheeljack had made for Miles. Instead of toy cars, there were a series of different types of Earth planes as well as two terrajets with tiny wheels added to them so they could roll around the curved roadway tracks.

Lightningbolt's stillness passed quickly as he started to push impatiently at Ratchet's hands to let go. "Ah! Ah!" he said energetically as he motioned towards the toy set Wheeljack had set up for him.

"You are really spoiling him, you know that?" Ratchet said in a disapproving tone while still smiling warmly at his mate.

"Aww, come on. Look how happy he is!"

Ratchet let go of Lightningbolt and watched him take two steps forward, drop down to his knees on the floor beside the set, and immediately start pushing the planes around. The sparkling's crying fit was long forgotten as he focused on touching and playing with each new toy. Pulling the purple terrajet off the track, Lightningbolt examined it closely. "Warp!" he announced as he held it out, waving it around.

"How in the world would he know what a terrajet is?" Ratchet asked.

"I don't think he does. I think he's associating the color." Wheeljack pulled the blue one off and held it up. "Who's this one?"

"Tee-ceeeeee!" Lightningbolt said with a huge grin.

"This is great! He's already learning words, or, well, his creator's names." Wheeljack lightly patted the sparkling on the helm, and he smiled brightly before he began to ask Lightningbolt more questions. Sometimes he got one-word answers, sometimes nothing more than a squeal or giggle.

Ratchet quietly took it all in. The look of curiosity on Lightningbolt's face, Wheeljack talking and playing, and the general joy he felt pulsing over their bond. _One day, Jack, we'll have one. I promise,_ Ratchet thought.

o o o o

The moment the door slid shut, Skywarp seized upon Thundercracker's wings with his mouth and hands. They roamed and stimulated the backsides of the sensitive appendages relentlessly. Thundercracker leaned against the cooler metal wall beside the doorway with his chest and hands pressed against it for balance. Skywarp intensified his efforts, licking and mouthing every micrometer of his wings, which caused a wonderful cascade of pleasure to pour over his sensory net.

Ratchet had come shortly after Thundercracker contacted him over the intercom. The look of confusion and hurt on Lightningbolt's face as the medic exited with him was almost enough to make Thundercracker change his mind about being parted for the allotted time. _Almost._

"Ahhh..." Thundercracker groaned as he pressed his forehead against the wall. As much as he loved wing-play, he also desperately wanted his spark to merge and reaffirm their bond. "Waaarp."

"Come here," Skywarp replied to the needful call of his name.

Thundercracker pushed away from the wall and turned to watch as Skywarp bounded over to the berth. His mate crawled onto the smooth surface, sitting back on his heels, and started to run his hands over his torso suggestively.

"I'll just start without you, if I have to," Skywarp threatened.

Thundercracker meandered over and paused at the edge of the berth, clasping his hands behind his back. They had two Earth hours before their alone time was up. Skywarp seemed to be in a playful mood, and Thundercracker decided he would make the most of it.

Skywarp slowed, then stopped moving his hands and furrowed his brow at Thundercracker. "Why are you just standing there?"

"I was enjoying the show," Thundercracker replied.

Skywarp's optics glinted as he smiled wickedly. "Oh. You want a show, do ya?"

Thundercracker nodded.

"Admission isn't free," Skywarp replied as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"How much?"

"You do everything I do," Skywarp replied.

"Everything you do, hm?... I suppose that's a fair price." Thundercracker crawled up onto the berth and positioned himself in front of Skywarp.

Skywarp ran his hands down his torso and then rested one hand over his closed interface array panel. He massaged the cover then allowed it to trigger open and expose the inner hardware. Grasping his jack, Skywarp began to gently run his fingers along its length. He looked up at Thundercracker with dimmed optics. "You do it, too."

Thundercracker scooted closer to Skywarp and trailed his fingers over the beautiful silver sections of his mate's frame making his way toward the exposed jack.

"I meant you do it to yourself, not me," Skywarp said as he watched Thundercracker's fingers move to fondle his jack.

Leaning forward, Thundercracker nuzzled his mate's cheek. "You didn't specify." He wrapped his hand around the jack, forcing Skywarp to let go. He began to squeeze and massage it, setting off the sensor nodes that lined his jack.

Skywarp shivered faintly. "Fragger."

Thundercracker laughed a little in response.

The rules of the game quickly dissolved as they gave into their desire for one another. Hands and mouths roamed over opposing frames, neck cables and wings. Eventually Thundercracker lay back, pulling Skywarp over top of him. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, where their glossa wrestled between and they writhed together in a heated mass. Unlike the intense arousal that would spike through Thundercracker during the last phase of carrying, this was a lovely, slow build up, and he wanted to savor each moment of it.

Skywarp broke the kiss and tapped his fingers on Thundercracker's interface array cover. "Open up," his mate commanded. Thundercracker did as he was asked, and Skywarp plunged his fingers into Thundercracker's exposed port.

Spreading his legs apart, Thundercracker bucked into the fingers pumping in and out of him. His body yearned for Skywarp as much as his spark did. He wanted to give Skywarp everything of himself. Keening softly, he rested a hand on the back of mate's helm. "I want you inside me. _Please,_ Warp."

Without hesitation, Skywarp shifted over him, pulling his fingers free and replacing them with his jack. He pressed the full length deep inside Thundercracker's waiting port, which trembled and constricted around the invading jack.

"Holy frag, TC," Skywarp said in a whisper.

Wrapping his arms around Skywarp's waist, he started to rock his hips. Skywarp quickly matched rhythm. Thundercracker stared at his mate, whose optics were dimmed and mouth hung partway open as he quietly panted off excess heat. Thundercracker reached up to lightly trace his fingers down Skywarp's cheek.

'Take all of me,' he said over the bond.

Skywarp's optics brightened as a lazy smile crossed his lips. 'You're _mine_.'

Sending the required commands, Thundercracker's chest plates parted and revealed his pulsing spark. Skywarp looked down at the exposed glowing light, then back up at Thundercracker. 'I missed this,' Skywarp said over the bond as he also parted his glassy cockpit and bared his spark for the first time in several Earth weeks. They pressed their chests close. Tendrils from each spark reached across and wound around one another. It felt as if no time had passed since the spark merge that had created their sparkling. Within a few pulses, they synched and melded into one pulsing essence.

The world dropped away, leaving only them and their linked sparks. Emotions passed freely between them: love, trust, and desire. Thundercracker moaned at the intensity of being able to directly feel his mate within himself. Skywarp had become more than just the focus of his world: he was his partner in everything. He couldn't imagine a life without him and would fight with every ounce of his being to make sure nothing tore them apart ever again.

'I love you,' Skywarp said over their bond.

'I love you, too,' Thundercracker replied.

In an instant, the overwhelming emotions they shared mixed with the heated pleasure rushing through them, and he succumbed to processor-shattering overload. All the passion and love he felt seem to explode across their shared sparks. Thundercracker tightened his hold on Skywarp as he was swept away by the wonderful sensation that rolled through every corner of his being. The euphoric high tapered off, and his whole frame went slack. His systems initiated a shut down due to the strain of such an intense and wonderful overload.

_Nothing can stop us, not when we love each other this much_, Thundercracker thought just before he slipped offline with a smile plastered to his lips, and Skywarp limply held in his arms.

* * *

_A/N- Well my dear readers, there is only one chapter left. Thank you for all the faves, alerts, and reviews! I appreciate the wonderful feedback from each of you. I'm so happy my story has been an enjoyable read to those of you who have stuck it out with me here. :3 Next time I update will be the ending! Thank you again everyone!_


	10. Start Again

Title: Regardless – Start Again

Author: pl2363

Series: Transformers AU/G1

Rating: T

Notes: Thundercracker x Skywarp. Thundercracker winds up accidentally sparked. He can't even reveal he's bonded to Skywarp to the rest of the ranks, let alone that he might have a sparkling. What will he decide to do? Oh! and this is a follow up fic to "Miles Adrift, Inches Away".

_Inspired in part from Unintended, by Asher119._

Thanks to Mirage Shinkiro and Asher 119 for the beta! And Lambotwinlove for support.

Title taken from the song 'Roads' by Portishead. I like this part of "We're in this together" by Nine Inch Nails:

"_You and me  
We're in this together now  
None of them can stop us now  
We will make it through somehow  
You and me  
If the world should break in two  
Until the very end of me  
Until the very end of you"_

Also... Transformers belong to Hasbro, I am just playing with them.

* * *

"You excited?" Skywarp asked the sparkling in his arms.

Lightningbolt made an agreeable-sounding squeal.

All three walked down the twisting corridors of the _Ark_ behind Prowl. They were being led to the entrance to meet with Skyfire for their first flight in several Earth days. Thundercracker's wings felt twitchy and achy. He longed to be airborne again. His own excitement about taking Lightningbolt up for the first time was mixing with Skywarp's as it echoed across their bond. This would have been a milestone occasion back in Vos. An event often attended by family members to welcome the new sparkling into flier society. Instead they found themselves surrounded by Autobots. It was of no consequence to Thundercracker, though. What mattered was taking their sparkling up into the air before he and Skywarp put themselves into a potentially dire situation by assisting Starscream.

The mid-morning light silhouetted the looming forms of both Skyfire and Optimus Prime, as they mulled around the open entrance. As they drew closer, Thundercracker noticed Ratchet and Wheeljack were also present. He realized that even if this wasn't the family he imagined attending an event like this, they had each played an integral part in helping Lightningbolt arrive in the world and that somehow seemed fitting.

"Wow, look at him," Skyfire said with clear awe in voice as they finally reached the gathered group.

Skywarp offered a beaming smile in response as he hoisted Lightningbolt up a little higher against his chest, showing him off.

Thundercracker glanced over at the others. Each one was focused on the sparkling now in their midst.

"He looks quite happy," Prime commented.

Prowl nodded in agreement with his leader's statement.

"Would it be asking too much if I could hold him?" Skyfire asked tentatively, as his optics darted between Thundercracker and Skywarp.

'I don't mind. Do you, Warp?' Thundercracker silently asked over the bond.

"I guess it's okay," Skywarp replied out loud, in answer to both Thundercracker and Skyfire.

Very carefully, Skywarp transferred Lightningbolt to Skyfire's waiting arms. The sparkling stared up with wide optics at Skyfire. "Heh, hello little guy." Lightningbolt examined Skyfire's face for a moment, before he shifted his focus to the chest he was held against. His tiny fingers explored the different shapes curiously.

"So you're really gonna take him flying? You're not worried about dropping him or anything?" Wheeljack asked.

Ground pounders really knew nothing about fliers. "It's tradition," Thundercracker replied simply.

Wheeljack ducked his head slightly. "Ah, I see."

"Back in Vos, taking a sparkling flying for the first time was a right of passage," Skyfire added.

"Interesting," Wheeljack replied as his headfins flashed.

"Okay! Let's go!" Skywarp held out his arms.

Thundercracker caught sight of Ratchet smiling and shaking his head at Skywarp's obvious excitement.

Skyfire passed back the sparkling. "He's really adorable. Congratulations."

"Thanks," they replied in unison.

After re-establishing their bond, Thundercracker felt as if they were more in tune to one another. Maybe he was imagining it, but he couldn't deny how much more Skywarp appeared to be sharing over their bond now. His fears or anxiety as well as his joy came through sharply now.

"I want to carry him first," Skywarp stated as they headed outside the _Ark_ entrance.

"Anything you want," Thundercracker replied.

The fliers, including Skyfire, all walked out into an open area. Skywarp turned Lightningbolt in his arms and took firm hold of him. Thundercracker and Skyfire both smiled at the sparkling. Lightningbolt made happy noises as he looked around with wide optics at the organic scenery surrounding them.

Thundercracker glanced over his shoulder at Prime. "How long do we have?"

"Take as long as you like. Just stay with Skyfire," Prime replied.

Nodding, Thundercracker initiated his thrusters. All three lifted up and took to the air. Being airborne and breaking away from the ties of gravity offered a freedom that only fliers truly understood. Skywarp held Lightningbolt against his chest, facing out so their sparkling could get a clear view of the Earth below them. Happy squeals and giggles carried on the wind as they flew in a wide arc through the clear sky. Thundercracker couldn't stop himself from grinning at the sight of his mate and their sparkling having so much fun.

Thundercracker moved to fly beneath them, flipping onto his back. Lightningbolt's optics brightened, and he flailed his arms outward, struggling with the winds whipping around him. Thundercracker reached out and gently took hold of his tiny hands between his fingers. Seeing how happy Lightningbolt looked made his spark swell in its chamber. This little being had been nothing more than a pulsing light on a spark-scan a few Earth weeks prior. Maybe it had been an unintentional sparking, but Thundercracker loved him no matter how he came into being. He would fight to ensure Lightningbolt would never know a life of pain, only joy.

'You wanna carry him?' Skywarp asked over the bond.

Thundercracker's optics shifted to his mate's grinning visage. 'Maybe in a bit. At the moment I am enjoying the sight of you two together.'

Skywarp allowed his happiness to push across the bond. 'Thanks for giving me this, TC. A family, I mean.'

'I'd do anything for you, Warp. _Anything_.'

:: I am picking up an energy signature, possibly Decepticon moving in quickly, :: Skyfire announced over the comm. line.

Thundercracker let go of his sparkling's hands and dropped lower as he righted himself and scanned out ahead. Only one energy signature registered, definitely Decepticon. He tried to magnify his focus on the glinting jet a few miles away. Silver wings, red stripes, and blue detailing gave away the jet's identity: Starscream.

:: Skyfire, you and Warp fall back. It's Starscream. :: Thundercracker transformed and took off like a shot in an attempt to intercept their former air commander. A sensation of uncertainty flooded the bond. He tried to quell his mate's anxiety with his own sense of calm, which only seemed to help marginally. Coming up on Starscream, Thundercracker cut a sharp turn in front of him. Starscream easily dodged the maneuver, however.

His old comm. line frequency flared to life with Starscream's grating voice. :: What kind of greeting is that? ::

:: It wasn't a greeting at all, :: Thundercracker replied as he banked, making a tight curve in another attempt to halt Starscream. :: Why are you here? Don't you realize we are being monitored by the Autobots? ::

:: Before I left, I set up a beacon to alert me to when any fliers appeared in the sky over this area, which I made sure to place safely out of Autobot scanning range. Did you honestly think I'd just sit around waiting for you to contact me? :: Starscream said, clearly pleased with himself.

:: Isn't Megatron going to wonder where you are? :: Thundercracker asked, clearly irritated.

:: No. He's been locked in his quarters working on some new, moronic project. Now, shall we have a little trine reunion? :: Starscream kicked up his speed.

It took all of Thundercracker's effort to match the high speed, while he continued his attempts to cut off Starscream.

'Warp, I can't go fast enough to stop him! Let Skyfire take Bolt to a safe distance!'

He watched the larger white shuttle move away from Skywarp as they closed in.

'Screamer's is gonna eat my fist!' Skywarp's anxiety quickly flipped to an intense anger that barreled over their bond.

Starscream finally slowed and transformed in front of Skywarp. Thundercracker transformed as well, just in time to watch Skywarp throw his fist into Starscream's jaw, knocking him backward.

"You fragging aft! Why are you here?" Skywarp yelled.

"_What is with you two?_" Starscream shouted back as he rubbed at his dented faceplate. "I take the time and effort to come back here only be treated like the enemy! I am your _trineleader._ Show some respect!"

Off to the side some distance away, Skyfire floated with his back to them, while glancing over his shoulder. The wind changed direction and carried the sounds of their sparkling, crying his spark out.

"Your sparkling…" Starscream said in an astonished voice. He looked back at Thundercracker and Skywarp. "Is this his first flight?"

"Yeah, and you're ruining it you aft-wipe!" Skywarp shouted.

"My apologizes. I should have known better than to tangle with two creators that have their parental protocols initiated." Starscream smirked at them.

Skywarp's wings quivered against his back, his rage barely restrained. Thundercracker moved to his mate's side and placed a hand on his forearm. They had positioned themselves between Skyfire and Starscream, poised to defend if necessary.

"_Former trineleader_," Thundercracker corrected. "And I said I would contact you when we decided."

Starscream looked past them. "You're letting that traitor hold your sparkling?"

"Traitor or not, he's not an aft like you are!" Skywarp snapped.

Starscream instantly shifted his focus back to them. "My, my Skywarp. You have certainly learned to speak your mind." A wicked smile curled his lips. "Does this mean you don't intend to take part in overthrowing Megatron?"

"I _intend_ to kick his aft and _yours_, too, if necessary!" Skywarp yelled as he clenched his fists.

Starscream canted his head as he looked to Thundercracker. "Seems you _did _decide."

Thundercracker sighed air from his intakes in a huff. "We decided that we'd help you, but only if you promise to call a cease fire and sign a treaty with the Autobots. If you don't hold up that part of the agreement, I _will_ rip your wings off and _personally_ hand them over to Optimus Prime."

Starscream's optics brightened with his apparent surprise at the threat. "Of course. Truth be told, I have given it a lot of thought. By being the one to put an end to the fighting, I will be seen as the greatest leader to ever rule."

'Holy slag, TC. He really is the most self-centered glitch to ever be sparked, isn't he?' Skywarp asked over the bond.

Thundercracker's amusement flickered over their bond. 'He certainly is. But if it helps us get what we need for Bolt, then I don't give a frag how much of a glitch he is.'

"So, we are in agreement, then?" Starscream asked as his optics bounced between Skywarp and Thundercracker.

"Yes," they both replied.

The wind shifted again, carrying the sounds of Lightningbolt's cries back their way.

"Now that we have that all settled, how about allowing me to meet the first flier to be created since the fall of Vos?" Starscream replied as he floated a little closer.

'Should we let him?' Skywarp's apprehension poured over their bond.

'If you don't want to, I'll make him leave.'

Feelings of uncertainty pulsed back from Skywarp.

"Oh, come now. It isn't like I'd hurt him! You two really distrust me that much?" Starscream asked as he placed his hands on his hips. "I would simply like to meet him. After all, he is the reason we are about to put our necks on the line, is he not?"

'If I didn't know any better, I'd think he cares about us,' Skywarp said silently, his words linked with his feelings of confusion.

'In his own fragged up way, I really think he does.' Thundercracker winced as he heard the continued cries of their sparkling. He wanted nothing more then to fly over and calm Lightningbolt down. The sound felt like it was piercing his spark.

'I guess it would be okay for him to see him, but I _don't_ want him holding LB.'

Thundercracker nodded to his mate in agreement before glancing back at Starscream. "You can see him, _with your optics only_." He turned partway and motioned to Skyfire to come over.

The white shuttle seemed hesitant but did as directed and slowly flew over to join them. As he neared, he gave Starscream a funny look before turning his attention to Skywarp to pass the crying sparkling back.

The moment Lightningbolt was in Skywarp's arms, he quieted.

"Look LB, that's the aft we hoped you'd never have to meet," Skywarp said sarcastically as he turned Lightenbolt sideways to see.

Their sparkling gave Starscream a very confused look.

"Don't hold back now, Skywarp. I'd hate to think you had a single shred of respect left for me," Starscream replied sarcastically.

Thundercracker focused his attention on Starscream, poised to protect their sparkling if their former air commander dared to move closer. Starscream grew quiet and remained floating in place as he took a long moment to gaze at Lightningbolt.

"While I am not so sure about the colors you two picked, I am quite happy the first sparkling in stellar cycles is a _flier_." Starscream looked pleased, not at all menacing like Thundercracker worried he'd be, especially after Skywarp's taunts.

"Not Tee-cee," Lightningbolt suddenly said. He pointed at Starscream then looked up at Skywarp.

Thundercracker moved in even closer to his mate and sparkling and placed his hand on Lightningbolt's helm. "That's Starscream."

"I am most certainly _not _Thundercracker, little flier," Starscream replied in his usual superior tone.

Lightningbolt looked back at Starscream. "Oh."

Starscream chuckled. "I can certainly see why you two would be willing to fight for your little creation. He's rather… _cute_." Starscream's wings lowered against his back in a relaxed gesture. Their former Decepticon comm. frequency suddenly pinged. :: Megatron is expecting a shipment of supplies from Shockwave tomorrow at the spacebridge. Time and location encoded in a follow up ping. I expect both of you there on time. I have worked to bend the odds in our favor. ::

:: We'll be there, :: Thundercracker replied in a curt tone.

A swell of apprehension pushed over the bond. Skywarp was worried and with good reason. They were about to put their lives on the line, and with the time frame officially set, the gravity of the situation was heavily settling over them.

"Well, then. I should get back. It was nice to meet you, little flier. And I'll be seeing the two of you later." Starscream spun around, transformed, and took off without waiting for anyone to acknowledge a word he said.

Skyfire turned to face their small family. "What was he talking about? Meet you later?"

Thundercracker frowned. "It's not what you think. We are going to take down Megatron."

Skyfire's blue optics flared brightly. "You're _what?_ Just the three of you? What about your sparkling?"

"He's why we agreed to help Starscream," Thundercracker replied. "We don't want Bolt to grow up in the middle of a pointless war."

Realization bloomed over Skyfire's face.

"Don't go snitching to Prime, this is our fight," Skywarp added.

"I won't." Skyfire's optics focused on Lightningbolt. "If you'd let me, I'd like to help."

"Do you think you could get our arm cannons back?" Thundercracker asked.

"I could do that, but I was hoping you'd allow me to fight with you, too," Skyfire replied.

Skywarp's uncertainty and disapproval of the idea pushed over the bond.

"This is _our_ fight for freedom. Getting our weapons back for us would be a huge help, though. We would greatly appreciate that," Thundercracker replied.

Skyfire looked at Thundercracker. "What you said to Prime about not wanting there to be factions spread through the _Ark_ quickly. I agree with that sentiment with every ounce of my being. My guess is you made Starscream promise to bring about peace." Skyfire dimmed his optics as a gentle-looking smile crossed his lips. "That seems like an outcome worth fighting for. More than that, I am also from Vos. I know Megatron manipulated the fliers into helping him and eventually destroyed our home. I think it's time to 'repay' him."

"You were fraggin' frozen here on Earth when that all happened. What do you know about it?" Skywarp quickly countered.

"I went through all the records after I awoke here. I may not have lived through it, but I can promise I have spent every moment since learning about the fate of our home silently mourning its loss. You aren't the only ones to lose family and loved ones." The sadness that obviously affected their fellow flier bled into his voice as he spoke.

Thundercracker wondered which was worse: living through it or waking up to find it was all gone. He decided they were equally painful. It was another in a long list of reasons to end this war. Enough was enough.

'Warp, I think we should let him come with us.'

'Screamer will be fragged off if we do,' Skywarp silently replied.

'Since when do we care what he thinks?'

Skywarp looked back at Thundercracker and half frowned.

'Starscream's not in charge anymore, _we are_.' Thundercracker canted his head at his mate. 'And Skyfire wouldn't be fighting as an Autobot, he'd be fighting as a fellow flier.'

Shaking his head, Skywarp's lips pulled into a small smile. 'All right.'

Thundercracker smiled at his mate before he looked back over at Skyfire. "Meet us on the roof of the _Ark_ tomorrow, noon."

Skyfire nodded. "I will. And thank you."

"Fly?" Lightningbolt asked as he gazed up at Skywarp.

Thundercracker quietly laughed at the innocent request. He leaned forward and placed a kiss to the top of their sparkling's helm.

"Ready for more, huh?" Skywarp asked.

"More!" Lightningbolt exclaimed, clapping his hands against Skywarp's chest.

"He's learning words already? That's amazing," Skyfire said as he gazed down at their excited sparkling.

"_Everything_ about Bolt is amazing," Thundercracker replied proudly.

Lightningbolt was worth fighting and dying for. But even more importantly, he was worth fighting and _surviving_ for. Thundercracker would do whatever he had to make sure he and Skywarp would return to their sparkling. If including Skyfire helped ensure their success, then he was more than willing to do it.

o o o o

Ratchet rapidly made his way across the base to Thundercracker and Skywarp's specially assigned quarters. He was responding to an urgent-sounding request for assistance just before noontime from Thundercracker. A thousand scenarios of different things having gone wrong with their sparkling were running through the medic's processor. Once he reached the room, he quickly palmed it open.

Standing inside, Thundercracker held Lightningbolt in his arms, hugging the sparkling close and planting small kisses to his forehead. Skywarp was pressed against both of them, gently running his fingers along Lightningbolt's back in a comforting motion. Ratchet stepped inside and froze in place, closely watching the affectionate nature of their interactions with one another. He knew they were doing well as parents, but not once had they shown this side of things to the medic. He found it both wonderful to see but also disconcerting. They had been so fiercely private, so why were acting like this in front of him _now_?

"We need to you look after Bolt," Thundercracker said without looking away from the sparkling in his arms.

Thundercracker's tone so stern and serious, that it instantly caused a sinking feeling in Ratchet's fuel tank. "Why?"

This time, Thundercracker looked at Ratchet as he asked. "_Will_ you look after him?"

"Yeah, I suppose I could for a bit. What's going on?" Ratchet took a hesitant step forward as he glanced at Skywarp. The younger flier's usual easy-going smile replaced with a very sharp-edged look he was not used to seeing on him, other than on a battlefield.

"Depending on the outcome, you may need to watch him for more than 'a bit'. However, that's a pretty slim possibility." Thundercracker's seriousness broke slightly, showing his underlying angst as he frowned at Ratchet.

Ratchet furrowed his brow. "Outcome of what?"

"Warp and I are going to help Starscream overthrow Megatron."

"_What?_" Ratchet asked, stunned. "Starscream? Have you lost it?"

"Starscream will negotiate peace once Megatron is no longer an obstacle." Thundercracker gently nuzzled his sparkling who made a soft cooing sound in response.

"Starscream? Again, I ask, have you lost it entirely? Like he'd ever call for peace!" Ratchet was overwhelmed with shock. They honestly thought engaging in a dangerous fight was the right thing to do? Admittedly, Ratchet only knew Starscream in the context of a battlefield. Even so, the only outcomes that came to mind involved them being betrayed by the Decepticon SIC or possibly dying while trying to help him.

"He will bring peace, or I _will _kill him." Thundercracker spoke with a level of conviction that told Ratchet he had not only thought this through but was already committed to seeing it to the end. "Please, you are the only one we would trust to look after Bolt. _Will you do it?_"

Ratchet looked at Lightningbolt. This was a potentially huge responsibility to take on, raising another couple's offspring as his own if they didn't make it back alive. It took less than an astrosecond to decide, though. "Yes. I'll look after him."

Skywarp pressed his face against the back of Lightenbolt's helm. "Be good."

Thundercracker pulled away and crossed over to Ratchet, handing over the small sparkling. "We kept him awake for longer than he's used to. He should go right into a recharge for you."

Ratchet took hold of the clearly tired-looking sparkling. Lighteningbolt stared up at Ratchet for a moment, before curling up against him and letting his optics go dark. His small body started to softly vibrate as he quickly fell into his recharge cycle.

"Thank you for everything you have done for us," Thundercracker said as he warmly smiled at Ratchet.

"You two better come back, _understood?_" Ratchet replied in a sharp tone.

"Understood," Thundercracker replied, still smiling.

Ratchet watched Thundercracker walk back over to Skywarp. The two warriors hugged each other close. Moments later they both disappeared from the locked down room. He sighed air from his intakes, realizing just how Thundercracker had gotten out of the room the other night. The locks on the door were totally useless. Ratchet looked down at Lighteningbolt, cradled against his chest. "Those two idiots better know what they are doing," he whispered.

o o o o

The two jets and a shuttle streaked across the sky. Thundercracker led Skywarp and Skyfire toward the appointed meeting place with Starscream. Their fellow flier, Skyfire, had met them with their weapons on the roof of the _Ark_, just as he promised. Thundercracker thought it felt odd to equip his heavy cannons again, and found himself looking forward to a time when he would no longer have to wear them.

They flew over a desolate desert landscape, dotted with rocky outcroppings. The location Starscream pinged to them was fast approaching, and he started to scan out ahead. Suddenly, a silver jet darted out from behind one of the rocky formations and sped in their direction.

:: What's with the shuttle? :: Starscream snapped.

:: He's going to help us, :: Thundercracker replied as he slowed to a stop and transformed. All the fliers followed suit, transforming into robot modes to speak face-to-face.

"I don't want that traitor helping us!" Starscream's optics flashed brightly and waved a hand in Skyfire's direction.

"Too bad. And in case you haven't noticed, we are _all _traitors here." Thundercracker crossed his arms over his chest and deeply frowned at Starscream.

Their former air commander gave Thundercracker a pointed look. "You have some gears on you, you know that?"

"If you don't like it, we'll just do this without you," Thundercracker replied.

"No need to get snippy." Starscream placed his hands on his hips. Looking directly at Skyfire he deeply frowned. "This doesn't change anything between us."

"I know," Skyfire replied quietly.

Thundercracker suddenly sensed there was something more going on between Starscream and Skyfire but decided it was none of his concern.

"Can we just get this over with?" Skywarp asked, as if reading Thundercracker's mind.

Starscream glared at Skywarp before he turned to face everyone. "Soundwave, Scrapper, Hook, and Dirge are with Megatron right now. While I doubt the Constructicons would really bother to protect Megatron, I am not so sure about Soundwave. That could be a problem if he decides to unleash his little pit-spawn tapes. Let's all be careful. I will lead, of course. That is, if you two still know how to follow."

Thundercracker shook his head disapprovingly. "We'll follow. But if you start to frag this up, I am taking over. And my threat of removing your wings stands if you try and betray us or weasel out of this."

Starscream grimaced as he nodded. "Let's go."

A mixture of anger, anticipation, and adrenaline coursed over their bond. It wasn't just Skywarp's emotions being passed; Thundercracker knew his were mixing with his mate's. As they flew toward the ravine edge and the spacebridge that lay at the bottom of the small canyon, Thundercracker mentally focused on why they were doing this.

'For Bolt,' he said over the bond.

'For you and me too, TC,' Skywarp replied.

He glanced over at Skywarp, who flashed a quick smile.

_Fight and survive_, Thundercracker thought.

Starscream led them toward Megatron who stood just beside the spacebridge entrance. Their former faction leader was overseeing the unloading of the materials that appeared to have just arrived from Cybertron. Dirge, Scrapper and Hook all stopped in their tracks to stare at the group of fliers as they landed. Thundercracker and Skywarp flanked Starscream, and Skyfire stood just behind them.

"Get back to work you ingrates!" Megatron yelled at the dumbstruck group.

"Don't bother," Starscream said the same three mechs. "I'm about to take over the mantle of leadership. In fact, how about scurrying out of the way?"

Megatron turned, his optics narrowing on the group of fliers. Thundercracker watched as the Constructicons quickly dropped their loads of materials and moved clear. Dirge, however, stepped up to Megatron's side. Quickly scanning the area, Thundercracker saw Soundwave standing silently to the side, unmoving.

"Starscream, seems you found your lost little fliers after all," Megatron said in a mocking tone. "Oh, and I see you added the traitorous white shuttle to your roster."

"Make fun all you like, Megatron. This will be your last chance to do so," Starscream said confidently.

"Is it, now? A glitched SIC, two defectors, and a traitor are going to overthrow me? I think maybe you've burnt out your logic circuitry." Megatron's lips curled into a wicked-looking smile. "Perhaps I should rearrange some of your processor for you."

"You'll do no such thing." Starscream made a quick nod.

Thundercracker's confusion at the out of place gesture was replaced by surprise as Dirge suddenly turned both arm cannons on Megatron and fired. Laser fire pinged off the heavy armor.

"You will die for your insolence!" Megatron spun around, grabbed hold of Dirge's arm and threw him so hard he offlined when he landed on the ground.

:: Distraction. Now go! :: Starscream commanded.

In a scattered formation, their trine lifted into the air and then flew at Megatron, all firing at him. Skyfire remained where he stood, also firing.

Starscream landed in front of Megatron and shot with both null rays. Megatron was built like a tank, however, and they seemed to have little effect. The hulking Decepticon leader stepped forward, moving with incredible speed for his size, and grabbed hold of Starscream by the neck, lifting him off the ground.

"Once again, you have proven that you are weak, Starscream. An annoyance and nothing more." Megatron began to darkly laugh as Starscream struggled. "Soundwave, dispatch the others."

"Negative," Soundwave droned.

Everyone turned their attention to Soundwave who was currently being held captive by Skyfire. The larger white mech had his arms wrapped around Soundwave's chest preventing the ejection of his casseticons.

"Well, well, Starscream. Too bad that still isn't enough to stop me. Your loyal band of misfits will not win against me." The sound of metal creaking filled the air as Megatron squeezed Starscream's throat.

Skywarp rushed in, pounding his fists into Megatron's side. "Starscream maybe a glitch, but he's not a psychopath like you!"

Thundercracker's fear instantly spiked. His mate's good intentions were often not thought out, and the scenario unfolding was quickly leading down a bad path. Megatron smirked as he lifted his free arm equipped with the fusion cannon up and twisted it toward Skywarp. Thundercracker flew in, wrapping his elbow around Megatron's neck in a headlock. He needed to create a diversion in order to save his mate from the inevitable fusion cannon fire.

'Warp! Stop!' Thundercracker commanded over the bond.

"You are all such weaklings! You honestly thought you could overpower me with numbers, Starscream?" Megatron asked, unimpressed with their attempts and obviously pleased with his easy resistance to their attacks.

"I know something you don't," Starscream choked out.

"Oh?" Megatron turned his full attention back Starscream trapped in his grip. "And that would be?"

Starscream smirked. "Parental protocols."

"What?" Megatron asked, evidently confused.

Thundercracker initiated his thrusters and jerked his full weight on Megatron's neck. As he did, Skywarp started firing at Megatron, pressing the muzzles of his weapons to the silver-plating, which managed to do quite a bit of damage.

"You little fragging defectors!" Megatron tossed Starscream to the side and reached over his shoulders, grabbing hold of Thundercracker's wings. He was flung over the larger leader's head, landing flat on his back. He was left reeling from the impact as pain flared over his dermal plating. He fought to remain focused and tilted his head back against the ground looking up to see Megatron lift his fusion cannon, taking aim at him.

_Fight and survive._

Thundercracker quickly rolled, just as the cannon powered up and fired. The blast hit his side and left wing as he attempted to move out of its path. A sharp pain instantly registered across his sensory net, but he ignored it as best he could by dampening the sensors.

Skywarp jumped up and attempted the same chokehold on Megatron. "You fragger! How dare you hurt him!" An intense, fiery hatred pushed over their bond. He had seen his mate snap in battles before, but this was far beyond anything he had witnessed or felt. The desire to protect was a two-way street for them. Forcing himself back to his feet, Thundercracker grabbed hold of his injured side. It was then he realized the shot had damaged one of his main fuel lines. Energon seeped from the burnt, open wound and trickled down his hip and leg.

He needed to think, decide how to end this fight _and quickly_. They weren't as powerful as Megatron, especially since the oversized leader was armed with his fusion cannon. _The fusion cannon…_

'Warp! Move back!'

'What? No!' Skywarp glanced at Thundercracker, his optics burning brightly.

Megatron twisted at the waist and grabbed one of Skywarp's wings, pulling his mate off his back with one hand and tossing him to the ground. "Moron, you are going to pay for your treachery!"

'Move out of the way, now!' Thundercracker rushed forward and squarely landed a punch against Megatron's jaw.

Surprised, Megatron shifted his attention back to Thundercracker. "You rather die first, hm?"

Thundercracker knew he'd have to time his move perfectly as his optics darted to the fusion cannon and he listened to its high pitched whir as it powered up. The only thing that could take down Megatron was _Megatron_. He knew in that moment, he might not survive but Megatron needed to be stopped, even if Thundercracker wound up trading his life for the peace that would follow. It would be worth it to ensure Lightningbolt's future.

'TC!' Skywarp's call over their bond felt desperate.

'I love you, Warp.'

"It's over," Megatron said with a cocky certainty in his voice.

_For you_, thought Thundercracker.

The cannon lifted, and the white-hot glow of the energy about to explode from the end was all Thundercracker concentrated on. Everything else around him faded away as he shoved his fist into the cannon. The energy that was about to explode outward built up within the barrel and imploded instead. The sound of metal ripping apart and loud booming of the backfiring cannon were all that registered in Thundercracker's audios. It all seemed to happen in slow motion; the optic blinding light of the explosion and the silver metal paneling of Megatron's body bursting apart at the seams.

Thundercracker was vaguely aware of losing his footing and falling over top of Megatron as the giant mech fell backward.

What were only a few seconds felt like eons as Thundercracker fought his processor's unrelenting series of warnings: fuel tank breach, main fuel line severed, left arm no longer responsive, massive systems failure eminent in the face of fuel loss. Glancing at the unresponsive arm, he saw it had been blown off completely from the elbow joint down. Mustering his remaining strength, he pushed to sit up with his remaining arm.

Warmth suddenly enveloped his side, and he glanced over to see Skywarp hugging him. His mate's optics were glassy with coolant. "You fraggin' idiot!" Skywarp shouted.

"Megatron's spark is still pulsing," Starscream said. Both looked up to see their former air commander standing over the mess of metal and charred parts that had been Megatron moments ago. Starscream lifted his null ray and took aim at the spark chamber. "I'm taking command, Megatron. Just as I said I would." Starscream shot at the chamber, obliterating the spark and forever ending the tyrant's rule.

No longer able to fight off his body's desire to shut down, Thundercracker slumped against Skywarp. He pulsed his love to his mate over their bond as his vision started to black out. 'Take care of Bolt if I don't...'

'Don't you die on me, TC!'

Thundercracker succumbed to his shutdown, leaving the conscious world behind.

o o o o

"_Why do you love me?" Thundercracker asked his father while sitting in his lap._

_His father hugged Thundercracker's smaller frame tightly as he kissed his helm. "Because you are my light and greatest achievement."_

_Thundercracker furrowed his brow as he tried to figure out what his father meant by that. Twisting in the close embrace, he gazed upward at his loving father. "What does that mean?"_

_His father laughed and smiled brightly. "It means that someday you'll surpass me in every way."_

_That made even less sense to Thundercracker. "Huh?"_

"_You will be a great flier one day. Possibly the best!" _

"_Oh, okay." At least that made sense to Thundercracker. He had already decided to work his hardest and train to be one of the top fliers. After all, he wanted to make his father proud of him. _

"_One other thing I want you to do, though. Something I want you to promise me." His father's voice grew soft as he spoke._

"_What's that?"_

"_One day, far in the future, I want you to fall in love. It's the one thing I know I'll never get to do, so I want to be sure you get the chance to." _

_Thundercracker stared up at his father, seeing a touch of sadness taint his smile. "Love someone else?" he asked, suddenly feeling confused. He couldn't even imagine loving someone other than his father._

"_There are different kinds of love. The love we share is one kind. The kind I want you to find someday will be the one that makes your spark dance around in your chest." His father pressed his fingers to the center of Thundercracker's chest plate. _

_Thundercracker looked down and put his smaller hand over this father's fingers. "That sounds funny. Will it hurt?"_

_His father nuzzled the back of his head. "If it's true love, it won't hurt. So do you promise you'll find someone to fall in love with?"_

"_I promise," Thundercracker replied._

o o o o

Slowly, systems started to come online. Thundercracker immediately registered that his arm was still half missing as well as a heavy warm pressure along his side. He no longer seemed be suffering from a lack of fuel, though. And most importantly, _he wasn't dead_. He dimly lit his optics to see Skywarp crammed into the medbay berth pressed up against him, recharging.

"That explains the heavy pressure," Thundercracker whispered.

"First recharge he's gotten in almost three Earth days."

Thundercracker glanced over to see Ratchet sitting on a stool next to a workbench. The medic was bent over the lower half of an arm, busily working away. Thundercracker looked around, surveying the area and realized he was in Autobot medbay. A curtain cordoned off they area they were in, just like when he first found himself in the medic's care for phase two of carrying... _Lightningbolt_. "If Warp is here, where's Bolt?"

"Bolt's been in and out of here, visiting for short amounts of time. At the moment he's playing with Wheeljack back in our quarters." Ratchet turned partway in his seat and looked back at Thundercracker. "Skywarp has refused to leave your side."

Glancing back at his mate nestled against him, he wondered how close he came to death. "How slagged up was I?"

"If they had gotten here even a few breems later, we would be holding a funeral service." Ratchet's tone was stern.

Shifting his gaze back to the medic, he could see just how serious Ratchet was. The medic shifted on his stool and faced Thundercracker. "I was honestly shocked to see your spark pulsing at all when you were hauled in here." Ratchet canted his head as he narrowed his optics. "What the frag were you thinking? Do you have any idea how much damage the electrical feedback from the disrupted cannon charge alone caused your systems? Not to mention the amount of plating I had to clean, reform and replace! And now I am having to rebuild you a lower left arm!"

Thundercracker couldn't help the grin that spread across his lips.

"What? Was something I said funny? 'Cause I think you acted completely recklessly. I don't see any humor in that." Ratchet furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest.

It wasn't that Thundercracker found his near death funny, he was just so incredibly grateful to be alive. He shook his head. "I'm just very happy you saved my life."

Ratchet's optics brightened as he sat up a little straighter. "That's what I do."

"Well, thank you," Thundercracker replied.

"I should be _thanking you_," Ratchet said, his stiff posture relaxing. "You two managed set in motion the end of the war. Starscream has been here for talks with Prime over the last three days. I've had to prepare reports on your condition for him, since Skywarp refused Starscream's request for a visit." Ratchet sighed air from his intakes as a small smile played across his lips. "I never thought I'd see the day peace would be negotiated."

"The world didn't have a place for us. So we made our own," Thundercracker replied.

"You certainly did," Ratchet replied with a huge smile.

Thundercracker smiled back. Their lives were theirs to live again. No more pointless fighting or violence threatening their existence. What seemed like nothing more than a distant dream of a different life was now going to be reality. He looked back at Skywarp and felt his spark happily pulse in its chamber, marveling at the strength gained by the deep love he felt. They had taken back what was rightfully theirs: a life to live together without fear, only love.

They were finally free.

~Epilogue~

The humans of Earth had agreed to share resources, but it was only enough to maintain a small electrical grid and energon convertors for the fifty or so homes the Constructicons had built back on Cybertron. Their rebuilt city had been declared the new capital, which Starscream had named New Vos, and was now home to a mix of Autobots and Decepticons. As per the agreements made, Starscream was put in charge of the rebuilding efforts on Cybertron and Prime remained on Earth, working with humans to maintain good relations. Factions remained, but had become little more than political parties after some time. It turned out that both sides were tired of the millennia-long war and simply wanted to leave the memory of past hostilities behind.

Optimus Prime offered Thundercracker a high-ranking position in the new structure of their peaceful society, but he had turned it down. He wanted to give Skywarp all his attention and love and didn't want anything to distract him from watching his sparkling grow up. All he wanted was to lead a quiet life and spend time with his family.

The light of Cybertron's moons reflected into the room Thundercracker and Skywarp shared through the overhead windows. It was the start of the orn. Skywarp lay pressed against Thundercracker's side, his mate's face smooshed against his upper arm. Thundercracker gazed at Skywarp, still deeply recharging. After so much fighting and struggling, he often found himself in awe over the most mundane of moments he shared with his mate and sparkling.

The sound of their door creaking open caught Thundercracker's attention. He glanced at the doorway, now cracked open, to see two small red optics peer back at him.

"You up? Can I come in?" Lightningbolt asked in a hushed voice.

"I'm up, but Warp isn't. And yes, you can come in."

The door opened all the way and Lightningbolt, who was on his fourth upgrade with his first set of wings, bounded across the room and jumped up onto the berth, landing front first on Thundercracker's chest. A grunt was forced from Thundercracker's vocalizer, and he frowned in response to his sparkling's energetic greeting.

Lightningbolt was undeterred by the look and grinned brightly. "Love you!"

Thundercracker's frown instantly broke into a smile. "Love you, too."

"Warp said we'd go flying. Can I wake him up?" Lightningbolt asked as he wriggled sideways and peaked over Thundercracker's arm at Skywarp.

"You can certainly try," Thundercracker replied, as he rested a hand on his sparkling's back.

Reaching out, Lightningbolt started to poke Skywarp in the arm. His mate groaned but didn't light his optics. "Come on. Time to wake up and go flying," Lightningbolt said excitedly as he continued to poke Skywarp.

"Primus, LB," Skywarp replied in a rough sounding voice, while leaving his optics off. "TC and I were up kinda late. Could I get like another cycle of recharge in?"

"No," Lightningbolt replied simply.

Thundercracker couldn't help but chuckle a little.

'You're not helping!' Skywarp said over the bond.

'He's just excited to go flying.' Thundercracker replied.

Skywarp dimly lit his optics and looked at Lightningbolt with a deep frown.

"Love you!" Lightningbolt said cheerfully. It was their sparkling's favorite form of greeting them first thing after a recharge.

"Love _you_. Now how about you go grab me and TC a couple of energon cubes?" Skywarp said as he sighed air from his intakes with a soft hiss.

"Okay! Then we can go flying?" Lightningbolt asked.

"Yeah. We'll go flying."

"Awesome!" Lightningbolt pushed off of Thundercracker, jumped to the floor, and sprinted out of the room.

"Awesome?" Skywarp repeated. "Where did he get that word from?"

"I think from playing with Miles." They made regular trips to Earth to allow Lightningbolt to play with Miles since they were close in age. There had been three more sparklings created since the end of the war, but they were still too young to play with Lighteningbolt, making Miles his main playmate.

"Fraggin' Jazz," Skywarp muttered. "I'm still tired..."

"That's your own fault," Thundercracker teased.

"Is not." Skywarp pouted. "How are you so awake?"

"Well, as I remember it, you were doing most of the 'work' last night," Thundercracker replied as he started to poke at Skywarp's side playfully.

Skywarp made a whining sound. "Bad enough the kid likes to poke me, you mind?"

"Why should I mind? You're the one being poked," Thundercracker said as he laughed.

"Har, har," Skywarp replied wryly.

"Here!" Lightningbolt announced from the doorway. He crossed the room with two servings of energon clutched close to his chest.

Thundercracker and Skywarp both sat up and each took a cube.

"Thank you," Thundercracker said as he patted Lightningbolt's helm.

"You're welcome." Lightningbolt crawled onto the berth and made himself comfortable on Thundercracker's lap. He was more physically affectionate with Thundercracker, always wanting to touch or be held by him. But he was more talkative and engaged with Skywarp, preferring his company when he wanted to play. "When we go flying, can you show me someplace cool?"

"Someplace cool?" Skywarp took a long swig of his energon.

"Yeah! Let's explore and find treasures." Lightningbolt grabbed at his pedes and rocked back against Thundercracker's chest.

"That's a tall order for such a short flier," Skywarp replied.

Lightningbolt made the same pouting frown Skywarp often sported. "I'll be as big as you someday!"

Skywarp smiled. "You will?"

"Yeah!" Lightningbolt sat forward and flexed his wings against Thundercracker. "I already have wings just like you, see? And before you know it, I'll be just as big as you!"

Thundercracker set his cube down and grabbed his sparkling by the waist, hugging him close. He pressed his lips to the side of Lightningbolt's helm. "Someday you will, but don't be in too much of a rush to grow up, okay?"

Lightningbolt tilted his head back and gazed at Thundercracker. "He doesn't believe me, though."

"He's just teasing you," Thundercracker explained.

"Oh," Lightningbolt replied.

Skywarp finished off his cube and dispersed the empty container. "All right. Are there any fliers up for treasure hunting around here?"

"Me!" Lightningbolt exclaimed.

Skywarp grinned as he got off the berth. "Let's go, then." He grabbed Lightningbolt by the waist and slung him over his shoulder. Their sparkling giggled and flailed around as Skywarp headed toward the doorway. Pausing at the threshold, Skywarp turned halfway and looked back at Thundercracker. "Coming?"

Thundercracker nodded.

The sight of his mate and sparkling together never failed to make his spark happily pulse in his chest. He made sure to drink in every moment he had with them, appreciating the simple pleasures they shared. The darkness and war that had tried to consume and destroy him felt like a distant memory now. It served to highlight the joy of such an uncomplicated, peaceful existence they now lived.

To love and be loved, how incredibly lucky he knew he was.

* * *

_A/N- I am both happy and sad this story is at its end. Thank you again everyone for the reviews, faves, and appreciation you have shown my story! It was very satisfying to write and I hope it was just as enjoyable to read. Thanks again!_


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